42's Therapy Thread

[42]

Well, height does seem to be an issue for a lot of women. My big-sister is only 5'2" and is married to a guy who is 6'2" (course my big sister was kind of heavy when she got married before she started losing it all in child-birth). My twin is 6'1" and married to a girl who 5'0". Course my other brothers are all married to or marrying girls that are all 5"7" or taller. My one brother fiance is his same height at 5'10".

[fuzzyoctopus]

I think our frustration comes in the fact that we feel that how tall a person is shoudln't be a factor in whether they're attractive or not... but apparently it is.  And for some people, (like with your sisters-in-law) it's a BIG factor.

And perhaps the confusing standard, (which I freely admit exists) of men wanting women smaller than they are, and women wanted men larger than they are.

With taller women, especially, I totally understand how it was.  I hit puberty a lot sooner than most of my classmates, so I spent about 3-4 years being taller than everyone else my age.  SO even though I'm only of average height, I think of myself as being large/tall a lot of the time.   It's a very very awkward feeling, and the last thing you want is to date a guy who, just by his presence, makes you feel like you're huge.

[Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock]

I like taller women. I dunno, height doesn't really matter much to me. She could be 3' tall or 9' tall, it wouldn't matter to me. I like the ladies that will give me the time of day and interest me in themselves overall.

[42]

I hate it that guys are expected to be big. I'm about average height, but used to be really skinny. In high school I always felt like I was weak because I was 6'0" and weighed a 125 lbs. The people in my family, including my cousins, all tend to be thin, which is great for the women but just sucks for the men.

So now that I'm just over 200 lbs, I still feel like I'm a small guy. It doesn't help my self-confidence at all.

[fuzzyoctopus]

See, Gemm's so practical.

As long as I'm not worried about being politically correct, (and when am I ever) if people married people closer to their own height I bet there'd be less domestic violence.
I know my mother in law is sometimes afraid of my  father in law.  If my husband ever tried to be physically violent toward me, though?  I could hold my own against him, if not beat him up outright.

[Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock]

See, I'm also very practical. You can tell your sister that too 42. =P

Thanks Fuzzy.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

The thought of Gemm breeding scares me.

[Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock]

You want scary? (And sorry for the small diversion) Think of a truck going out to the farm, landing in a saucer, finding out it's son, the goat, had run away with the stalks of corn. Not just one mind you. And all the truck had wanted was a small piece of pie from the barn.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

yeah, you're right. that is scary. The truck is the father of goats that ran away with produce?

[EUOL]

I think our frustration comes in the fact that we feel that how tall a person is shouldn’t be a factor in whether they're attractive or not... but apparently it is.  And for some people, (like with your sisters-in-law) it's a BIG factor.

Huh?  You're saying a physical attribute shouldn't be a factor in attraction?  I'm sorry, but I don't agree with this statement.  Physical characteristics--whether it be features, build, or height, have always been a major part of attraction.  They always will be.  These things simply make a difference.  If I see an actress in a movie with blonde hair, then see the same actress with dark hair in another movie, I will find her more attractive in the dark haired situation.

[fuzzyoctopus]

EUOL, you have this gift for taking everything I say the wrong way, or taking them to an extreme I don't mean.

I'm not saying that it shouldn't be a factor.  What I SAID was that I FEEL that sometimes it shouldn't be a factor.

I'm saying that it seems strange TO ME that it's sometimes a MAJOR factor.  "Wow that girl would be really hot if she weren't so tall."  That seems weird.  Shouldn't beautiful be beautiful no matter what the height?

</statement on human nature>

[stacer]

It's tricky, because height really does make a difference to me. I just can't seem to be attracted to men that are shorter than me. Same height, okay, but the taller the better. But I'm pretty tall. I have a friend here--a girl--who's 6'4" and she doesn't really want a guy who's taller, but she would like one who is in her general range. Maybe it's imprinted in us genetically, that whole thing about men having more power than women and height=power. I don't know.

So I was saying kind of the same thing as fuzzy--maybe it shouldn't matter, but it does matter to me, at least to a degree. Not so much that a certain guy who I've become best friends with who's only an inch or two taller than me when I wear flat shoes isn't attractive to me. But it makes me wear flat shoes more often.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

no, i think i have to side with EUOL here. It doesn't make sense that height wouldn't be a factor in physical attractiveness. however, being the first factor of learning about a person... that's like a fetish.

[Eagle Prince]

Who cares about looks, height, or personality.  I just want to marry someone who is really rich.  And I am quite serious about that, but I'd be happy to explain further if you're offended/curious.

[stacer]

Join the club. I'm in training to marry a millionaire. Hence my collection of Marilyn Monroe and Lauren Bacall movies.


(But seriously, I am curious.)