Author Topic: Polygraph examination  (Read 2750 times)

MoreDew

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Polygraph examination
« on: February 10, 2005, 12:40:45 PM »
okay, so I am in the job process for the University Police dept. to become a security guard for the dorms.  The process consisted of an initial interview, an oral interview with three Officers, a thorough background check where they called all my friends and former employers, and last friday they called and offered me a conditional offer of employment.  Conditional that I pass a medical exam and a polygraph exam.  I had my medical exam last Tuesday and passed, and tonight I have my polygraph exam.

Has anyone ever had to do one of these before?  I have once and I guess I passed, but they never really said if I passed or not.  I'm a little nervous for this tonight.  Anyone have any suggestions... other than not lie on the test?
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The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers

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Re: Polygraph examination
« Reply #1 on: February 10, 2005, 12:50:08 PM »
my sister-in-law had one for her job. She's in govt, and actually, I think I'm not supposed to say more than that.

she had a hard time passing hte polygraph, not because she had anything to lie about, but because it made her nervous. They asked a lot of questions about lifestyle: sexuality, substances, etc. I believe the rationale was not that they reallycared about those things, but they can't have people who are embarassed by it because that would make them black-mailable.

Skar

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Re: Polygraph examination
« Reply #2 on: February 10, 2005, 12:50:40 PM »
Polygraphs, unless they're run by an actual trained and skillful tester, will often indicate you're lying when you're only nervous.  Not kidding.

Good Luck, sweaty palms.
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Skar

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Re: Polygraph examination
« Reply #3 on: February 10, 2005, 12:51:34 PM »
A skillful tester can, through establishing baselines and so on, compensate for nervousness.
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Re: Polygraph examination
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2005, 12:55:30 PM »
The problem was that she kept breaking down into tears. That's more than just a little sweat and nervousness
« Last Edit: February 10, 2005, 12:55:36 PM by SaintEhlers »

fuzzyoctopus

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Re: Polygraph examination
« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2005, 01:01:33 PM »
Quote
The problem was that she kept breaking down into tears. That's more than just a little sweat and nervousness


Erm, wow.
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n8sumsion

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Re: Polygraph examination
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2005, 02:27:09 PM »
Just answer every question with something like, "Yes... um, wait, NO! Oh, no, you're right, I guess yes. Maybe." You'll cover all your bases that way.

fuzzyoctopus

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Re: Polygraph examination
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2005, 02:31:51 PM »
Quote
Just answer every question with something like, "Yes... um, wait, NO! Oh, no, you're right, I guess yes. Maybe." You'll cover all your bases that way.


"Congratualtions, you passed the test.  But the examiner has now recommended a 6-week series of psych exams...."
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Mad Dr Jeffe

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Re: Polygraph examination
« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2005, 04:06:37 PM »
Osleon did you ever have to take one, I imagine it would be hard given your criminal background. ;)
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Nicadymus

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Re: Polygraph examination
« Reply #9 on: February 10, 2005, 06:16:00 PM »
Don't worry so much.  You'll get the job.
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JP Dogberry

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Re: Polygraph examination
« Reply #10 on: February 10, 2005, 06:33:36 PM »
And you best cover all your bases, for they are belong to them.
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MoreDew

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Re: Polygraph examination
« Reply #11 on: February 12, 2005, 02:12:42 AM »
well, I had my polygraph last night and I passed after being there for two hours.  The test only took like 10 minutes, but the rest of the time I spent telling the officer running the test all the things I've done in my life.  That really sucked.  He must have had at least ten pages of notes of the things I was telling him.  The questions that he asked on the test weren't really that stressful because I had already told him everything and had nothing to hide.  All I have to say is if anyone has to do one of these tests, is spill your guts, and be honest!

This might be funny to some of you: during the test I had to sit still for the polygraph machine to get an accurate reading, and after about a minute of sitting still he told me not to flex my sphincter because it would throw off the machine.  So, I had to stop doing that too.  ;D
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Captain Morgan

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Re: Polygraph examination
« Reply #12 on: February 12, 2005, 03:05:15 AM »
Quote
he told me not to flex my sphincter


I bet all the cops tell you that too :P You got the job unless you told them everything different from what I told them. I made you a god to them. :D
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Re: Polygraph examination
« Reply #13 on: February 12, 2005, 11:22:35 AM »
the cops and the fellow inmates.

MoreDew

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Re: Polygraph examination
« Reply #14 on: February 12, 2005, 11:37:55 AM »
I won't find out if I got the job or not until early next week.  The officer that ran the polygraph has to write up a report over the results of the test and the things that we discussed.  I don't see any reason why I shouldn't get the job.

I'm comforted Morgan that you made me sound like a God... I'm almost worried what you might have told them.
gimme a tattoo of a butt, with a butt-shaped tattoo, right on my butt!