Suicide, Depression and Nerds

[Master Xaio]

Ok, that helps a bit.

From what I understand, this has been going on for a few years, but it has just been getting bad recently.  Why, I'm not sure.  I think he's just getting fed-up with life.  

He is very depressed, but he hasn't got to the stage of hurting himself yet, as far as I know.

Eventually, I suspect he will talk to his parents, but I doubt they will understand or expect.  And I doubt anything they do  to try to help him, if they do try, will help.  Because of the simple fact that it is coming from them.

From what I understand, he also doesn't sleep much.  He stay's up to the early hours of morning gaming, chatting, feeling generally bored with life.  To quote him, "I game because I'm bored.  What else is there to do?"

I'm also not sure that medicaiton or therapy would at this stage help.  Maybe because he is still kinda hoping that something might happen, though he 'knows' nothing will.

42, thanks for what you've said, its good, and its given me a bit to think about.  

[Maxwell]

Um i think they live in austrailia. but martial dont always turn them homocidla, at least not till they are good at them, so I dont think that would really be a problem... but I still think the best thing is getting him a job or hobby to raise his self esteem and make his parents lighten up.
P.S. having a freind that is always available to talk or help is very re-assuring.

[GorgonlaVacaTremendo]

A) If someone is depressed enough yes they will use martial arts the wrong way depending on how they react to depression.

B) Sleep is not a necessity in large amounts anyway.  I mean, I'm an insomiac with very strict parents (except I can't game at night, I just sit there) and I am not suicidal.  Try to get him in something like track and feild or tennis, something decently easy and fun.  If that doesn't cheer him up start having LAN parties at or near his house, he should like that...

[Maxwell]

I meant he probly cant hurt someone with martial when they are just starting out. and about the sleep thing, I disagree, I generally feel depressed if I dont sleep.

[GorgonlaVacaTremendo]

Huh?  Maybe I am just weird.  And I don't know, some people are naturally good at the martial arts, so you could get real god real fast.  It's just a precaution, but could keep him from mauling some kid.  And I got used to not sleeping when my parents took my bed so I guess I have just gotten used to it.  I continuosly forget my sleep and eating habits are really weird by many standards.

[Maxwell]

They took your bed!?
well outkast, I dont think I have any more advice for you except to try all the things that everybody here has suggested because they are all really smart and all seem to know a good deal about this, so just try all these things and if you need advice on anything else or have any more trouble, you can always ask me, and probably these other guys.

[42]

Getting to martial arts may not be bad, your friend may have to try several different activities before he finds something he likes. Try getting a good gaming group, or sports club, school club or church youth group.

Not sleeping is normal for some people with depression. I haven't slept with out medication for a year and seven months. Other people with depression over sleep.

Being bored with everything or not having any interest in stuff is a big sign of depression.

[Master Xaio]

Ok, thanks for all the posts.  Its given me some ideas.  I know martial arts helped me when I was feeling that way.  And the dojo I train at is quite supportive and friendly, so I think it'll be ok.

*later on*

I've just been talking to him, and I'm kinda worried.  Apparently a while ago he got his knife out and sharpened it, and then gave it a try to see how much it hurt.  If I can't talk some sense into him, then I'm going to try and get him onto a hotline.

[angel]

take away his knife and his sharpener.

[42]

Take away the knife, cutting can be habit forming and it's not easy to overcome. In rhe meantime it can cause a lot of damage.

I have to keep every sharp object in my apartment locked-up to keep me from playing with the idea when I'm down. My roomates have the key.

It sounds like he will need some medication for a time. What antidepressants do is they take away the edge for a while. They don't necessarily solve the problem, but they can clear your head until  you have chance to sort things out.

[angel]

replace the knife with chocolate, a fat freind is better than a dead freind.

[Master Xaio]

Goddamn, I would like to, but he's a geek and would just work out other ways.  I'm making progress now though.

[42]

Chocolate does contain some antidepressent qualities.

[angel]

just tell him exactly what is happening, depressed people hate patronization, ask him what on earth he thought he was doing. tell him that you wont forgive him if he kills himself, be nice, but not so nice that you become a doormatt and or outlet for his depression, in other words dont let him abuse you, but first and foremost dont let others abuse him.

[angel]

that's why i suggested it...theobromene, good for the soul, teror for the waistline.