Author Topic: Reading Excuses - Recovering Cynic - Oathbound - Prologue  (Read 3098 times)

Jexral

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Re: Reading Excuses - Recovering Cynic - Oathbound - Prologue
« Reply #15 on: November 07, 2009, 04:14:38 AM »
Yet, we have Lyro defying her anyways. The way he speaks about Asharia after killing Darion gives me the impression that Lyro, y'know, has a choice on whether to worship her or not, whereas I thought I understood from earlier that Asharia was the Goddess, capital letter (though if this is not the case, as it may be, that may be why you didn't capitalize "She" when referring to her). So do we have a monotheistic religion or a polytheistic one? Does Asharia exist? Seems to me that if you had a monotheistic religion which has undeniable proof of Her existence (and, you know, can grant immortality to her followers if she chooses), I'd definitely want to convert to that religion!

I don't know for sure, but I was under the impression that it was monotheistic, and that she existed for certain.  That's what made it such a big impact for me when he turned against her.  He could live forever following her, if he only kills one of his children - and he chooses to save his child, practically sealing his fate for it (and plunging his nation into a long and bloody war, which is less cool, I will admit).  That was one of the things that made this work for me, and made him understandable.  <shrug>
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RavenstarRHJF

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Re: Reading Excuses - Recovering Cynic - Oathbound - Prologue
« Reply #16 on: November 11, 2009, 03:52:49 AM »
I like this new prologue.  It establishes the conflict quite well, in my opinion.
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Chaos

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Re: Reading Excuses - Recovering Cynic - Oathbound - Prologue
« Reply #17 on: November 11, 2009, 05:45:48 AM »
Yet, we have Lyro defying her anyways. The way he speaks about Asharia after killing Darion gives me the impression that Lyro, y'know, has a choice on whether to worship her or not, whereas I thought I understood from earlier that Asharia was the Goddess, capital letter (though if this is not the case, as it may be, that may be why you didn't capitalize "She" when referring to her). So do we have a monotheistic religion or a polytheistic one? Does Asharia exist? Seems to me that if you had a monotheistic religion which has undeniable proof of Her existence (and, you know, can grant immortality to her followers if she chooses), I'd definitely want to convert to that religion!

I don't know for sure, but I was under the impression that it was monotheistic, and that she existed for certain.  That's what made it such a big impact for me when he turned against her.  He could live forever following her, if he only kills one of his children - and he chooses to save his child, practically sealing his fate for it (and plunging his nation into a long and bloody war, which is less cool, I will admit).  That was one of the things that made this work for me, and made him understandable.  <shrug>

I actually got that reaction, too, but when I was writing my critique, a lot of other ideas spawned into my head.
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Re: Reading Excuses - Recovering Cynic - Oathbound - Prologue
« Reply #18 on: December 13, 2009, 06:34:38 AM »
I think this makes for a perfectly decent prologue. That said...

Some explication of the logic behind the "only  one heir" rule would be nice. I can extrapolate, but it's so opposite from the usual logic (have as many children as possible to secure an heir for the throne) that it could probably use some explicit explication.

Also, what's this about mingling his seed with mortals leading to no good? Exactly how is he supposed to get ANY heirs out of this deal? I assume avatars of the goddess aren't all that common.

I don't have a problem with Valenth's loyalty, but until the King addressed him I didn't even realize that he was still in the room. Surely he had some reaction to the King killing an unsuspecting priest?

It might be stupid to defy Asharia, who I assumed was a real god. It's also stupid to knowingly throw an entire empire--your empire--into war. He's doing it to save his children. No problems there.

I thought Darion's argument, that "this will only get harder later", made a lot of sense insofar as it's something someone in his position would say (whether it's actually true or not, who knows? no one, I hope). I don't at all understand Chaos's problem with it. (Also, I don't think that this has been sprung on the king unknowingly. I imagine that this has been a tradition, even a law, long before the king's children were so much as a gleam in his eye).