Another strong chapter, but I think that next time you should ignore the word count and send the whole chapter
. It felt like a cliff hanger ending, I wanted more! Which of course, is awesome.
I don't have much to add that Raven didn't already notice, but I have a bit of stuff.
1st off, I think that you need another POV from Karrys soon, because her character seems a little, not cliche, but just archetype strong willed and smart princess type, and she seems alittle thin in the development section right now. You probably fix this later on, but not getting to know main characters and their thoughts really bugs me. So I really just want more of your characters, even though I am loving Garriks character, I want more!
By the way, I may have missed this before,but is the Talonguard the personal guard/soldiers for the KING directly,or are they just special in general? I just can't remember, and a little memory jog would be appreciated.
Gartren had barely made it back to the group from his errand at the Milambe River before they had left the road. Tul had sent everyone but the young Private down into the valley Karrys and Garrik had watched over as they talked earlier. The plan was for them to get to the woods south of the road and travel parallel to it until they reached Durmoth. Tul and Gartren would follow the Milambe River until they spotted the Drakkin. Using their swords they would communicate what they saw.
I don't really see the necessity for this paragraph at the start of Chapter 10, because it seems like a different POV, that of this Gartren, guy, who we didn't know before, and is not mentioned after this, but then the next paragraph is from Garrik. Personally, it just confused me in general, what errand did he have? And if this is meant to BE from Garrik's pov, I don't think the guards would have confided their plans to him. I dunno, maybe I'm missing something here...
The wind snapped and Garrik saw Captain Haflaen slump in his saddle, an arrow protruding from the man’s neck.
Very well done imo. I liked the abrupt transition from his thoughts to just noticed an arrow in someones neck. Portrays the shock and how he didn't really realize what happened.
Rhe following scene was promising as well, I think that you write fight scenes quite well.
About the single line formation, I actually think that it makes sense. A wedge would make it so the riders closest to the road would make the whole group visible to the Drakkin. But it works either way, Raven's confusion and suggestions make sense as well. IN fact, I would love for their to be some betrayal as Raven thought there might be.
And I also agree with Raven that the soldiers would definitely rally around Garrik and Karyss, shielding them from arrows and such.
Great stuff, can't wait for the rest of Chapter 10,
I love lots of action and magic