I have to agree with Robert_boyd, the beginning just doesn't cut it. I myself will stop reading a book if the first few pages don't interest me, and I know a lot of people are the same way.
You have to start out with some action, and I'm not talking about some big fight scene or anything, just something that pushes the story forward. The first chapter felt like it didn't so anything for the story but give a lot of background information. And the second chapter only hinted at something more, with the character Elly, but that's about it. Start farther in the story, because we don't really need to see the main character wandering around doing chores for five pages. And you're not the only one who's done this, I couldn't get past the first couple pages of 'The Macig of Recluse' because of it.
What really bothered me though, was the use of show and tell. It was a lot of telling, whether you were discribing something about his father, hawk, or just how he goes to look for the girl he likes, it feels like the story stops, and then it gives of this explination about a lot of stuff that could easily be told in in a few sentances, either in normal conversation, or through events themselves.
Sorry if that sounded harsh, but the fact is that, other than the opening, the rest of the story sounds like it could be really interesting, so if you can find a way to kick start the beginning that would really help. I'd like to continue reading it, if you don't mind, I'd like to see where it goes.