OK, MoD, and Stacer, this is mostly for you, since you both commented on the paragraph, but for different reasons. Anybody who feels they have a grasp on the situation can comment helpfully.
In chapter 2 I describe Peks' surgery on his foot. The problem is, he a) can't see his foot, and b) isn't paying close attention, since as the previous paragraph says, he thinks it's an all day even full of pain and agony.
So, despite the verbage problems and lack of detail, the biggest problem, really, is that I have a POV shift for that one paragraph just for the sake of letting the reader know that while this sucks for an 11 year-old, Hannah's really good at her job and takes care of him quick. There are worse things he could have been through.
Anyway, jsut explaining hte problem gives me an idea for how to give that information better. Unfortunately, most of it involves telling, not showing (I feel it does a decent job showing as it stands, right now).
One solution is just to add a comment where Birge says something like "She was done quick. There was less blood than I'd've thought" or something like that. Maybe reinforce with Isbeth saying "Get well Anpechswyn. Don't worry, Hannah knows her work." or whatever.
another idea is to just state that Hannah explains what she's doing to Isbeth, who is there as an apprentice anyway. Peks isn't paying close attention, so there's no reason to put in all the dialog, the summary I have being all that I need.
Any feedback on that?