note: Cinderella is only physically abused once. When she has her dress torn up -- she is ganged up on by 2 people, with more watching. She really can't do anything else. Where would she go? To the castle? Where they see hundreds of people in similar circumstances begging everyday. Live on the street? At least she has clothes, bedding, food, and friends where she is.
I don't find my examples harsh. I didn't mean for them to be an exhaustive list of all possible solutions, which was kind of the point of my argument. You would never argue those were her ONLY recourse, but if the solution is marriage, suddenly we say that the movie claims it IS the only solution. That kind of reasoning doesn't make any sense to me.
I also want to note that the protagonist of Ever After doesn't really do anything more than Disney's Cinderella does. If the prince hadn't decided he wanted to marry her, she'd still be screwed. Yeah, yeah, she got away from that creepy duke guy. HOw long would that last? He had a legal claim, and his lackeys would have been able to capture her before she was out of the courtyard if the prince hadn't shown up. It's just a different personality type.
I think you're too specific in saying that the message is "be good and your prince will come." Unless you take the prince metaphorically. I think the message is more: if you're good, ACTIVELY good, not just meek and obedient, then a way out will be created.
Cinderella was commiting an act of defiance just by going to the ball. She had no way of knowing that she wouldn't be recognized. In fact, she was very much in danger of being recognized if the ESM had gotten a closer look. It was only the change of clothes that made her not instantly recognizable. Had the ESM realized who she was, she would have probably been locked up a whole lot sooner. She was out there defying the abuse. Had she not gone, she would have not met hte prince, and thus no way out. I'm not claiming she's as active as others, but she's not sitting around on her butt taking the abuse like everyone seems to imply she is.
In fact, her only fault, that I can see, is that she's too trusting that others will keep their word.