Overall, I liked about half of this chapter. The other half... well, it's been mentioned before--the frolicking about just does not fit the scene we came from, nor the scene we're thrown right back into at the end of this chapter. It feels like you want to show that she's living a normal, somewhat happy life, but you quickly change to show that no, she's not. It makes me wonder what point it serves to have her get warm fuzzies from Mel. Perhaps this is just the pessimist in me speaking, because I know I certainly wouldn't, given the realities of the world pressing against me.
Okay, on to the specifics (all in my not-so-humble opinion):
The first sentence - This really has to go. At least the first part of it. "Fifty-six years... " you're directly talking to the reader. I know it might be vital information at some point, but why does it matter as the first three words in the first chapter? Your POV is different, and the subject of Cien being the grandfather is brought up, so that illustrates that two generations have passed. An exact year is likely irrelevant to the reader. If it needs to be known, I'm sure you could find a good way to
show the reader, through dialogue, journals, etc. Also, it bears no connection to the second half of the sentence, describing the Weeper trees. Did they just now start reigning over the swampland? Took them 56 years? Why haven't they always been there on top? Too many questions immediately popped into my head that are very likely irrelevant.
Your description is holding up well, compared to the last chapter. It's very vivid, easy to picture... okay, I'm going to comment on this a little (almost thought I'd have pure praise there... can't have that). You use "like"
a lot. I know the similes are part of what gives your description such vividness, but I count 32 times in 3000 words. Sometimes they're very close together, too. After the first dozen or so, I start actually looking for them. "Ah, another thing that's like something else," I say as I spot the next twenty. You only have two places where you use "as" in the same way. One of them is sing-songy: "as rich as rot". I'm sure other people will probably disagree with me on this, but I've seen you use other methods to describe things, and most of them flow better.
If your linen skirt manages to get caught on a thorn while you're running and drags you to a stop, it's very likely going to: a) rip the skirt immediately, b) disrobe you, or c) rip the thorn off the plant. This is assuming your linen is not some sort of super-material. I know that I've ripped shirts before running past sharp hooked things (nails in trees, for instance), and I know I've brought home a collection of twigs and those blasted thorny seeds from weeds adorned to my clothing, and none of them stopped me. Staggered, maybe (in the case of the nails), but never stopped. If she's running helter-skelter, no wimpy bush is going to stop her.
There are a number of places that you stop using italics for thought-speak, which makes it very hard to spot sometimes. I'll try to mark them up in my line-edits.
Most of the encounter with Baeratia I had no problem with. It had some tension, which is good. One thing I was a little confused about: why would a Twilight Person use a greeting like "The sun rises"? To me, that would be a negative thing for a Dark Elv. Perhaps you mean it to be negative, but then why would Rachell repeat it? Does she have bad news as well? I would have expected something more like "The moon rises" or "The sun sets" or "The stars shine brightly". Something to do with night. Dunno.
And the chapter ends. With nothing really happening. Hrm. I'm left with a whole bunch of questions. What happens to Shaeradis? She just got dismissed, even though she's bleeding profusely. From the way you wrote it, she was already on the verge of death. Can she really wait for Baeratia to deliver the Dreams? What are the dreams? What made the Elvs go to Ravke to find Rachell instead of either finding her themselves, or finding her father?
This whole chapter seems like it's leading up to something, and then just stops. It's great for a cliffhanger, but especially near the beginning of the book, you need lots of hooks (which I should know having just been ripped a new one for the exact same problem). I know that
something is up, but I have no idea what. Some people may enjoy the mystery, but to me it's a little odd not to know anything about what's going on. Granted, I likely wouldn't put the book down, because it takes a special kind of suck to get me to do that: only Christopher Paolini and J.K. Rowling have managed that so far.
And to answer one of your questions about the Elvs: I don't particularly have a problem with your explanation, but unless that's made clear somewhere early in the book, you're
going to get punished for it. Writing fantasy where technology has devolved has to be done very carefully. Anne McCaffrey's Pern series does the same thing, and some of how she does it is very... distasteful to a lot of readers. Without any back story or revelation early on, your book clearly falls into the fantasy realm, and inserting science fiction elements later on makes it look like it was an afterthought, even though you've already demonstrated that you thought of it well in advance. One way to get around this is to have Ancient devices (working or not) that point to there having been high technology at some point.
One really bad problem with your Elvs, Lomari, and Humans is that they just about exactly mimic Elves, Half-Elves, and Humans in D&D. Light and dark elves (wood/high elves and drow, respectively) both exist, and are very similar to your concepts. Half-Elves consider themselves superior as well, but
everyone hates them. I don't know if this is an intentional comparison, but I can see it.
I have little to complain about your prose, though. Your sentences are generally very tight, and you've removed a lot of early-draft cruft. Oh, and you don't post often enough for me to read further.