Wow. So I haven't been back to this thread very much since starting it, and it looks like a sub-thread has wound it's way in here. Thought I'd put in my two cents.
One of the things I've noticed about Martin is that he really goes for the realism aspect in his stories. He wants the world and the characters to feel real when you read them. He wants you to get pulled in and live the lives that they're living. In so doing, there are things that he feels are pertinent to certain characters that he wants to get across, and for some of those he chooses to have important stuff occur during a sex scene. And, as I've mentioned, he wants to make it seem real. So, it's graphic. But the important part here to notice, I think, is that so very little of those scenes actually focuses on the sex. There aren't long passages that could have been cut from a Harlequin romance novel, and for that I'm grateful. There are, even, only very rare pieces of those scenes where the point of the scene is set aside, and the characters turn to their lust/love/whatever. And usually, when they do, the scene will end. I'd have a hard time saying that Martin was a "bad" writer because he chooses to write those sex scenes, or even that other writers are better than him just because they can write a story with no sex in it. Now, if someone were to say that Martin could use a little prod in the backside to put more actual "story" into his books, instead of making them so "real", I might have to agree with them. But equating authorial ability with inclusion of sex scenes is the blind man's route to take, if you ask me. Then again, what do I know. I'm just a nobody.