Best Quote Lately Reincarnated

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

"Stupid! You gotta be Morman to issue a fatwa!"
-Jeffrey Rowland

[Shrain]

Hurley: "This is how people get killed in scary movies."
Sawyer: "If this were a scary movie, I'd be with a hot chick, not you, Bar Bar."

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

[16:16] LeachOnAMac: ...okay. So have you resorted to a game of Care Bears: the RPG yet? You might be able to slip that through.

[Shir Hashirim]

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.
Theodore Geisel

[Shrain]

Robie the Cat: "You know as well as I do, this necklace is imitation."
Francie: "Well, I'm not."
("To Catch a Thief")

[Oldie Black Witch]

My 7-year-old: Mom, would you tell me if you were a robot?
Me: Uh, yes. . .
[Brief pause]
Son: Are you a robot?
Me: No! I'm definately not a robot.
Son: Maybe you're her evil twin, then.

[Chimera]

"The items people buy most are baby food and underwear. Weird."
--my 16-year-old brother who works as a cashier at Target.

[Shrain]

Oldie, Chimera, those are cool. Thanks for sharing those little observations. lol.

[House of Mustard]

From McSweeney's:

Remember when a "pop-up" was something you saw at a baseball game, "cookies" made you think of Mrs. Fields, and "Zip drive" made you think of a giraffe made of marzipan? When, if someone asked you to "download something," you accused them of planting tiny receivers under your skin, and when someone said "screen saver" you shrieked and looked around frantically for Filipinos trying to bite the back of your thighs?

[fuzzyoctopus]

"We are a species that needs and wants to understand who we are. Sheep lice do not seem to share this longing, which is one reason why they write so little."
--Anne Lamott

[Nessa]

My 3-year-old son told me this the other day:

"I don't like to eat bugs, they're yucky."

:-/ Is this from personal experience?

[Shrain]

Or maybe he's been watching Fear Factor. *shudder*

[Ruthie]

This is a paraphrase because it was a comedian I heard on the radio, and I googled it this morning to see if I could cite/quote it better and got nothing.

I went out to lunch with a friend. I ordered a big, juicy steak. He ordered a big green salad. "You know," he said to me, "you should be a vegetarian too. You'd be healthier and live longer."

I picked up my steak and flapped it in his face. I said, "This cow was a vegetarian, and it ain't looking so good right now."

[Nessa]

Haha. Yeah! Dairy cows, if they're lucky, will only live about 12 years, before they succumb to old age.

[Shrain]

(You ever meet someone who's just too darn cheerful?)

"Patty Floo and her good good were starting to get on my nerves. Her mood was so good it was almost a physical thing, a monkey on a leash that she let leap all over the furniture, delighting only its owner."
--From Elizabeth McCracken's The Giant's House