Stuck in the Snow (or, Why I Still Hate Cops)

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

So I get stuck in the snow. This because I would rather be stuck in the snow on the median of a free way than have my van plow directly through another human being's car, for various reasons.

I have a little movement, but I cannot get onto the street. No one stops to help.

I don't blame anyone for this. I mean, they're probably late for work too, or a half dozen other reasons, not the least of which is the possibility that I'm an axe weilding psycho (though were I such a psycho, I'd be a fairly dumb one, trying to get victims in plain sight in the middle of rush hour).

But cops, well, isn't this part of their JOB? They radio in to say they're stopping to help, so dispatch knows where they are, then they step forward to see if I need help. If I pull out an axe, well, that's what they're issued sidearms for, right? He can't claim he's on the way to work, this is what he DOES.

So when a cop finally comes into sight (on the side of the road with very little traffic, none the less) with no lights on (meaning to me he doesn't have an emergency he's headed to), I'm pleased. I even roll down my window to talk to him. He comes close, looks me STRAIGHT IN THE EYE, driving slowly, and just keeps right on going.

I hate those %$@#ing pigs.

[fuzzyoctopus]

And you're just going to end it there and not tell us how you got unstuck from the snow??

[Mr_Pleasington]

Tease!

[Mad Dr Jeffe]

thats just low. I hate cops too.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

A nice guy showed up. he helped me dig some snow out pushed, and told me where to steer. It wasn't that exciting, so I didn't take the time earlier.

But on that note, how do you keep an idiot in suspense?

[GorgonlaVacaTremendo]

   I have a cop story as well.  

   My sister (18) and I (15) were driving to school one day.  It is the winter and we live in the middle of nowhere.  I don't mean, I live in the middle of nowhere because I'm on the outskirt of town, or I live in the middle of nowhere because the nearest subdivision is a ten minuite walk, I mean the middle of nowhere where there are dead trees far as the eye can see and my nearest neighbor is a scary old hermit, who live five minuites of jogging away, who seems to enjoy gutting things.  It is dark, mostly because trees hover over the road and it's like 6:30 in the morning during the winter.  Amd we are late.

So the speed limit on this road is 25 miles an hour.  No one lives on this road, no one walks on this road, hardly anyone even drives on this road.  So my sister picks it up.  

We get to this hill and she lets off, but we are still gaining speed.  Oh, by the way, it's foggy.  A creepy, I can't tell if my hand is still there foggy too.  We can see a good ways ahead of us due to fog lights, God bless their souls, but not behind us.  So at the bottom of this hill, we hear a cop.

Now, we are in the middle of nowhere, in the dark and a creepy fog.  And the cops around here like to drink and are severly illrational due to their extremely small brain size.  

So this cop follows us with just his lights on, no sound.  We can hardley see them and slowed a little.  Then he puts on his siren.  We slow a LOT.  She went from 35 to about 15.  But we keep going.  We don't carry sidearms in acse a phyco pulls us over in the dark, creepy fog.  So we keep goin at about ten in plain sight.  We do not try to escape.  it's less than half a mile to the point were the roads are paved and there's at least a streetlight.  

We go there the cop pulls up and the regular jimberjam.  Then he says,"BLAH BLAH BLAH, OINK, SNORT, and I could put you down for evading arrest."  And I swear he snorted the hugest fat azz snort you've eveer heard and gives her a ticket.  Then FOLLOWS us, in case we would speed again or something.  He follows us all the way to the school, a good fifteen miles, probably more, like he had nothing better to do.  I hate cops.