Now that I've read it I have a few things to say as far as mechnics go.
First using !?! in any text outside of comics . . . is not good. Just . . . don't do it. !?! is used to convey an exclamatory question. A way of bringing across emotions in speech, shock, concern, surprise. As a comic artist you only have the visual medium to work with. The text in a novel or serial as this is can be used to describe the visual. The pitch of the voice, the way the eyebrows move, the look on the face. A visual medium can't talk about the voice, so they use the !?! to deal with that.
Secondly, the line "Vara's Fear was shaking Her Very being," is just a bad line. It is not the only example of such an annoying line, but it was the first. The First thing wrong with these kinds of lines is the word "was." Normally it makes the sentence passive. In this case it seems more like a rock to trip over, a bump in the road of the text. All that and "Skaking her very being," is a really . . . really . . . really . . . cliche line.
The old dude with three mouths is interesting, I'll give you that, but the placement is odd. We have little grasp of the magic or consequences of the magic. This isn't a bad thing by itself; sometimes it's a good thing. However, in this case it's just one more weird thing to toss up on the pile of gunk we as the reader are wading through. Instead of being mysterious, it just drops out from under itself and falls into the, "Oh look, another random whatever."
The old man's personality boarders between the ridiculously cliche and the absurdly ridiculously chiche. The crazy old guy with the weird whatever. It's like Levenworth Smedry but less likable. With Levenworth (from the Alcatraz vs the evil Librarians) we see wisdom in him right from the start. He's only crazy to Alcatraz. We as the reader can see passed that and view his power and wisdom in all he does. He's not just a crazy old man/wizard. He's a great, Charismatic leader. This "barbarian" just reminds me of a stereotype from Japanese cartoons.
