I was vague on the setting at the beginning of this chapter. Where is it taking place? I need a bit more description.
That's the most standout example of lacking description, but really the entire mountain home setting has lacked color and form. How big is it? Where is the light coming from? How are things laid out? How big is the trial room, how high is the stand, where is the king speaking from? I don't get a sense of any of these things from the text.
These may seem like pointless details since they're peripheral to the plot. I'm certainly not suggesting you turn this into the Wheel of Time. But, details like these help ground us in the setting, and cultivate the "sense of wonder". You've generally done a pretty decent job of it until this location.
I liked getting Kajsa's perspective here. It felt good to get a bit more knowledge of what's going on with Kail. That said, the most expository section, the bit drawing sigils, felt out of place here. I think it needed to come earlier; perhaps much earlier. Like, back when they were still in Kajsa's cottage earlier. Kajsa's assurance that he is more than human would embolden Kail in the sections that follow, and it would seem more rational for him to assume that he can run all the way to Kajsa's home in a day.
Something about this chapter made me look back on the rest of the book up to now. It feels like forever ago that Lance got slaughtered and Kail all but set himself up as the prime suspect. It feels like another book entirely. The money, the vehicles, the Matrix Agents—they're from another life, and none of it feels connected to what's going on now.
Does that make sense? I'm not sure if this is a mark against the book or not, but to me it feels like you did a lot of setup that wound up wasted. Kail no longer thinks about Lance, nor does he wonder how he wound up with the Sword of Worlds and what he intended for Kail to do with him. Granted, he's had other things on his mind, but I'd think gathering information on that event would still be fairly high on his todo list.
Now, I'm finally getting a sense of where this book is going. You're starting to set up an Ellie/Bloodbath/Kail/Kajsa/Malik vs. Morrigan/Mordred/Crom Cruach/Minions epic final confrontation. I'm curious, how long is the book up 'till now, and how long do you plan it to be? In terms of the feel of the plot, I'd say we're just now passing halfway through.