Dental work

[stacer]

I've never really had a problem going to the dentist. You go, get your cavities filled in if you have them, and hope you can pay for it. No stress or anything. I didn't even worry when I had to have a root canal twice in the same tooth (once at age 16 and once when I was 23 or so).

I went to the dentist for the first time in 5 years or so the other day. (Haven't had insurance for a while.) Even that was fine. I needed a cleaning (which they still haven't done, this was a new patient exam), and he was going to look at my jaw and see if I might need a mouth guard for grinding my teeth. Nothing too serious, nothing that required immediate attention. I even didn't think too much about it when they couldn't seem to get me in for a cleaning till Dec. 22.  

But then I got a call from the dentist's assistant today, asking if I could come in for a consultation *tomorrow* because they found something "of concern" on the X-rays they took the other day. What could they find of concern that would have them getting me in the very next day for an appointment? Now I'm freaking out. What if I have cancer of the mouth or huge bone loss in my jaw or something crazy like that?

Somebody reassure me, because it doesn't feel like it would be a simple cavity for this.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

my first thought was the need for another root canal. If it was cancer or something, I'd think they'd tell you that you need to see a doctor or something. I mean, dentists are doctors, but they don't work with cancer patients.

[House of Mustard]

Maybe your insurance refused to pay the bill, and the dentist just wants you to come in to meet a couple of his "friends" (named Mad Dog and Big Eddie) who will "negotiate a new payment plan."

[Mistress of Darkness]

Maybe they found your twin in a lump in your jaw. (Sorry, I just watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Seriously, though, I'm sure it's nothing bigger than a bridge.

[Entsuropi]

The aliens missed when they tried to anal probe you.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

Those are some pretty stupid aliens. Maybe the dentist IS an alien and he wants to try to correct the situation.

[42]

Actually, there is a super-secret micro-chip imbeded in one of your teeth. The chip contains the plans for low-cost, efficient, environmentaly safe cold fusion. The chip was made by the Illuminati and accidentally lost in Godiva chocolate factory. Stacer picked it up from a cherry cordial. The dental assistant noticed the chip in the x-ray and as a super-secret member of the Illuminati is positioning to take back the chip.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

oh, I think that's the most plausible answer yet.

[Peter Ahlstrom]

Or one of your teeth is a hollow shell filled with deadly poison!

[stacer]

Wait--isn't that used in a movie from the 80s? A science fiction movie, at that.

[Peter Ahlstrom]

Well, I think the poison tooth thing is common in spy novels/movies, for suicide if you get captured.

[Mad Dr Jeffe]

Bite down on the tooth Duke Atradies
Remember the tooth...

Ahhh Dean Stockwell at his finest.

[JP Dogberry]

Maybe he found a strange tooth tattoo on your tooth, and realised that you are the chosen one, a lost child from an ancient civilisation, frozen in time to attain temperary immortality, only to awake when the time is right in the 21st centuary, and the doctor is supposed to be your guide to teach you the way you will save the world from evil forces that rise every 2000 years.

[Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock]

Is this some sort of new contest open only to those who aren't?

[stacer]

YES--Dune is it. The ugly crunching sound.

And Jam, you just *may* have hit on it--I *do* have a filling tattoo on my gums! That must be it!