Well, to be fair to Anakin, it was a pretty big hill
To the point though, definitely keep that line, even if alot of people won't understand the reference, it's awesome.But like Chaos said, please spell it right, that really bugged me seeing it as obi-WON.
small shoutout to everyone on RE, sorry for not reviewing anything for a while, I've been otherwise occupied, but I hope to start getting involved again!
About this chapter...
It was my least favourite chapter so far. I agree with alot of stuff that's already been said here, especially about Kail. He really got on my nerves. Just not likable at all, with way too many one liners and not enough inner turmoil and worry about Ellie. And I still think that it's wierd that he would warm up to Kajsa so quickly, I mean, he slept with her without knowing her at all, and is now "in love" with her and completely trusting her...while on another planet and his one friend is missing. I would be freaking out, not making sweet talk with a self professed bloodthirsty troll. Maybe that's just me.
I still like what's happened so far, I just want some more seriousness and internal dialogue or something from Kail. I understand it's your first draft though.
And like some others have said, make more of a jarring difference between this new world and ours. Although I really liked the spiders with wings line. It gave good description and felt like it was just passing through his mind without you having to tell us that he saw them.
Still good stuff, hope we get another one soon, I want to get more of the plot(especially the connection with the guys in suits from the beginning, and Lance's involvement..)
