I'd like to point out for tone purposes that when I use the word "you," I'm referring to people in genral, and not a specific person. Please don't read this as confrontational -- just explaining things that don't seem clear yet.
I could definitely debate any of the things on your list of general problems with religions (I see that Epistemological did a good job of covering the most important of the points). without going through point by point, just know that none of them are things that I see as real problems in my life as a member of this church. Most of them are due to perversions of the true doctrines of the gospel. I had a religion teacher once who would often draw a continuum on the chalkboard -- whatever doctrine we were talking about, he would put in the center, and then show how even slightly pushing it towards one extreme or another in any direction can make it opressive or even a sin. Satan has been able to skew almost everything in mainstream religion -- sometimes just a little bit, and sometimes a lot -- to distort it as you've pointed out. Some of that (OK, often much of it) even creeps into the day to day practices of the LDS church because, though the gospel may be perfect, the people trying to put it into practice are not. One of the things that the Prophet and General Authorities do a lot of in our church is to watch for those shifting winds and try to direct the membership back towards the true doctrine.
Regarding the health effects of the Word of Wisdom, the real issue here is free will. Satan's plan is to take away free will so that he will have all the power and glory. The Father's plan is to give us free will so that we can make the most of ourselves. The reason we're counselled against many sins is that when we do them, the natural consequences limit our free will in the future. (disease, unwanted pregnancy, prison, trying to remember all the lies, less money and time to spend living happily and doing good, etc...) It doesn't make sense to knowingly surrender your free will to an addictive substance.
I agree that overindulging (or underindulging which is something I struggle with) in food is as much of a problem as overinidulging in drugs or alcohol. Obese Mormons who overindulge in food aren't really living the Word of Wisdom. It's not something that automatically keeps you out of the temple, but it does affect your ability to serve, and to feel and act on the promptings of the spirit. I've seen a much greater focus lately from church leaders trying to address this on an individual level -- though not necessarily across the pulpit. The real difference between food and alcohol or tobacco, is that they are addictive substances, and when under their influence, you really can't feel the spirit at all, or have the mental capacity to make wise choices about other things. Far too many people have started out drinking "just a moderate amount" and really regretted something the next morning. Then there are the millions who can't break the chains of cigarette smoking or alcoholism even if they try. My family history suggests that if I was to start, I would quickly become addicted with unfortunate results. That's not a risk I'm willing to take for a little relaxation when a little TV will usually get me as relaxed as I want to be.
With tithing, the question is: not how much money are you giving the church, but are you willing to trust God? He has promised that if you follow his commandments (and tithing is even a Biblical one), he will "open up the windows of heaven so that there will not be room to receive it." If you can't trust him with an affordable percentage of your worldly goods, then you certainly don't have the commitment necessary to keep the covenants made in the temple. And before you argue that 10% is not affordable for some people, know that if tithing means the difference between eating or paying rent or something like that, then your Bishop has the authority to help with those necessities out of the welfare funds. I have never met a single person who feels poorer for paying a full and honest tithe.
As for the "patriarchal order" and the priesthood, I think that as with many things, God knew human nature, and designed the church and the gospel to take advantage of our strengths and shore up our weaknesses. If you simply take a look at the trends in churches where they have given women the priesthood, you'll see that the already skewed demographic tilts even further. Even in the LDS church, there are more active women than men. If you tell men that we don't really need them in the leadership and serice positions they hold, then they won't feel like they have a place in the kingdom of God. This is not the only reason for the policy of course. There is truth in many of the things that you claim are said just to "pacify" the women. When the programs of the church are run as the Prophet has counselled (and there have been specific leadership trainings directly from Salt Lake on the topic -- which tells you that the programs are not always run perfectly), no woman has to feel like she's minimized or opressed or lacks responsibilities or a voice in this church.
I know that there have been doctrinal questions addressed in PM's in the last few days. Did they answer all of the questions people asked about my post on the afterlife, hell and forgiveness for sinners? I'd be happy to go searching for specific refrences in the scriptures if they haven't.
