Pie VS Cake: The Official Thread

[Inquisitor]

I had the most amazing chocolate shake of my life last night. Too bad there was no cake to go along with it 

[little wilson]

I had some Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream today. It was really good..mixed with chocolate. Mmm.

[Patriotic Kaz]

Ok which evil little midget pirate tipped the scale....yes pie eaters are all short AND  pirates!!!!

[little wilson]

You really shouldn't generalize like that. What happens if there's a short pirate cake-lover? Will you call them a heretic?

[Inquisitor]

No, we would call them family. The pirate pie lovers, on the other hand, would be the bad kind of pirate.

[Patriotic Kaz]

and we would give them stilts... wouldn't want the truth known and all

[sortitus]

Jeez! We aren't "Pirate Pie Lovers" or any kind of pirate at all. Your simple pirate minds are fragile, so I'll try to break this to you slowly. Pie lovers do not dress like pirates. We wear stealthy black suits or clever disguises. We kill silently. We are not constantly drunk. We do not smell of poo. We are ninja.

[Patriotic Kaz]

No your not....you had a bristish accent at last years Christmas party....Brits can't be ninja only pirates

[Eerongal]

[Patriotic Kaz]

LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sortitus]

Hey, you can proceed. All that sign is saying is that you're likely to be drop-kicked into a pot of boiling tea by a British ninja if you do.

[Andrew the Great]

No, all that sign says is that if there's a British "Ninja" around, you're likely in danger. You see, they'll try to do something cool and ninja-ish and will end up seriously injuring themselves and anyone within 20 ft. Anyone within 50 ft will die of trauma at having their opinion of ninjas so thoroughly obliterated.

[sortitus]

You have obviously never read Dr. McNinja.

[Andrew the Great]

Umm.... your right?

Seriously, I don't need to read it though. Everyone knows that no British person could possibly pull of the necessary skills to be a ninja.... although a few might come close. But they know better than to earn the wrath of real ninjas by claiming the title when they haven't earned it.

[sortitus]

It is my right, and I will defend it to the death!

So, you're going to pull out your anti-European sentiment now, are you? Such bigotry shall not be tolerated here, sir, and I resent your insinuation that I do not have the genetics necessary to perform incredible feats of concealment and murder.

Have you no respect for your British forefathers, who risked their lives to sail to this continent on the Ninja, the Pinto, and the Santa Marina? No human not present on those ships saw those who sailed on them for months! Some were not seen by others for years! That should be all the proof you need. Need I insult your manhood? Need I?

Good lord! The residents of this house go through boxes of cookies like an angry rhinoceros goes through a grass hut! My baking hand is going to send me an emergency fatigue warning if this keeps up!