In my mind stories have to earn their graphic content. If there's a very good reason for it, I'll read it; otherwise I'd just as soon pass.
"Schindler's List" passes this test. "Kill Bill" does not. (Those are examples on the extreme ends of the spectrum.)
I'll read stories with explicit language if it's either kept to a minimum or adds to the story (this is rare -
here is an example of profanity used extremely effectively and well).
I'm not very tolerant of explicit sex - like Ravenstar said, we know how it works, so spare us the details. However, it can add to the story - see the beginning of Neil Gaiman's
Stardust.
Graphic depictions of violence are more tolerable in written than in visual forms, but again, authors should choose their details carefully. Too much, and it looses its impact and becomes a sideshow (like pretty much every horror movie made in the past 20 years). Too little, and the impact is lost. I think Brandon Sanderson handles violence tastefully and well in the Misborn series.
To summarize: if you're going to subject me to unpleasant content, you need to make it worth my while or I'll quit on you.