Something a little different this time 'round.
... Okay, Fine.
Thoughts while Reading:
Interesting idea... is this your clone story?
At least she knows that she SHOULD know who she is... that's a plus, right?
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Good luck with the present tense. It's a tough one to keep straight...
The end of this first section is confusing. I think you could explain what it is she sees without loosing any of the dramatics you seem to want.
"Looking around Silvia has the thought that it might be some kind of cell, though she doesn’t remember ever having been in prison."
I knew the name Silvia was familiar. Now I remember. It was your writing prompt. I wonder if she'll get a foam hand in this version too...
"Silvia was not surprised that it worked. Why put a sink there if it was not to be used?"
Neither was I, but these lines seem to be implying I should have been....
Is she part bat then? Cool...
I would break up a few of these sentences. Like this one:
"Changing positions without rolling over, staying still or large movements would have given her away, Silvia feigned sleep. "
What was the dead man's mistake exactly?
"Silvia had already reasoned that the amenities she now had were there because they could be taken away. For good behavior, she would get rewarded, bad and they would take some or everything away."
How did she know that? I think you might be overdoing the internal thought a little bit....
The attack at the end is so abstract that it was a little confusing.
Overall impression:
Okay, this one was a bit harder to follow because of all the internal thought and some of the scenes were abstract, but I like the idea and it was a fun read anyway and you do get in close with your character, which I will always appreciate. I'll be looking forward to seeing what you do with it.
