As one who does not read fantasy, magic, or epic-fantasy-type novels, I was very impressed by your work. The story is very interesting and it caught my eye. The story seems very original (although like I said, I'm not into that genre so I don't know what is original and what is overdone).
Great work on the characters and description. I felt the description was a little thick at first, but the more I read the more relaxed your story became and I enjoyed it more. I see no apparent pitfalls or errors that already haven't been addressed.
Here is my only opinion, take it for what it is worth. It seems like the reader already knows everything there is to know about the characters, plot, world, ext. from just the first chapter. Are you saving anything for later? Seems like you revealed so much in the beginning chapter that there is little for the reader to experience. For example:
"Aermyst had heard of a time, long ago, when crystalhearts were respected and honored by even kings and princes. In such a time men like Aermyst and Dantes would be feasted from one end of the realm to the other. Their opinions would be sought in disputes. They might have been sent as ambassadors of peace to nations embroiled in war. Now, they huddled in a tent in the desert, beholden to men such as Ves."
Maybe you could save this and reveal it later. That way, we don't know all the history of the crystalhearts in the very beginning.
Another example:
"Knowing the condition of the team's crystalhearts was vital. Tax the crystal too much, and it would simply snap, like a wooden stick strained to the point of breaking. Flexibility was good, even neccessary in a crystal, but bend it too much and it would be forever weakened. Bend it past that, and you would die. Aermyst had once seen a man whose crystal had actually exploded inside his body, needle-sharp shards of it throughout his system. He hadn't survived."
Just an idea, you could save this bit of info for later and shock your readers by revealing how fragile the hearts could be. Like I said, just an idea.
Another thing, in my opinion (and I'm no author or English major), I would not include the reader in your sentences, such as:
"Bend it past that, and you would die." Instead, maybe say, "Bend it past that, and the bearer would die." Just a thought.
Now for some praise. I absolutely loved the base jumping part. It really hooked me. I also like, what I assume from just one chapter, the plot of this book. You have a talent and I look forward to reading chapter 2. Good luck!
