Author Topic: RANTAGE  (Read 1901 times)

CthulhuKefka

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RANTAGE
« on: September 09, 2008, 07:49:13 AM »
Ok, so I have this "friend" who I've known since elementary school. We've been on again/off again friends, by that I mean shortly before we graduated we had a spat and stopped talking to each other. After graduation, she went to college and I joined the Navy. I didn't come home for about two years, and happened to run into her at the gas station. It seemed that the past was the past and all was forgotten/forgiven. We began to talk again and rebuild our friendship. When I was stationed in Maryland,  she sent me a Christmas card (only person to do so) and called to wish me a happy birthday (again, only one to do so with the exception of family).

She was seemed genuinely interested in me coming home. She'd talk about all the fun things we were going to be able to do, since we really didn't have any time to do anything after we graduated.

So much to my surprise and confusion, when I got my honorable discharge and came home, she wouldn't answer my calls. She is avoiding me for some reason, and it is really making me mad because I didn't do anything to warrant this kind of avoidance.

At first I thought it was just a lot of cases of bad timing, but after leaving messages with every single member of her family, as well as the answering machine multiple times, I knew she was avoiding me. I learned from my friend that she has a new boyfriend (she has had really really bad relationships in the past, domestic abuse and stuff like that).

I know her new boyfriend, he is, for lack of better words, an a-hole. I guess my rantage boils down to the fact that I hate this feeling that I did something wrong and I don't know what it is. I know I didn't do anything, but I don't understand how other people's psyches work.

 ???

Comfortable Madness

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Re: RANTAGE
« Reply #1 on: September 09, 2008, 02:34:37 PM »
I don't think it's anything you did. She was obviously interested in you in some way, maybe just as a friend or maybe something more. She still may feel that way about you and now that she is in a relationship, albeit maybe a bad one, she doesn't want to put herself in a confusing situation. Thus, she avoids you altogether. But then again what the hell do I know about why people, especially woman, do the things they do.
I will never serve you, Father of Lies. In a thousand lives, I never have. I know that. Im sure of it. Come. It is time to die. Rand al'Thor

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Miyabi

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Re: RANTAGE
« Reply #2 on: September 09, 2008, 03:11:50 PM »
So, I'm assuming you are discussing something more than friendship?  If I'm wrong, I apologize. 

I had a very similar experience.  I was dating a boy who lived in Connecticut. -I had lived there in the past and knew him from a play we were in together.(The Laramie Project)-  We were off and on for over a year long distance.  Then, when I moved back, a few days after I got back he suddenly, "Wasn't in love with me anymore."  Now I could give a bunch of details, but what it boils down to is that he was afraid his parents (Who loved me and knew I was gay.) and his friends (Who are totally homophobic.) would find out and he would have to give up everything for me.  (I ended up having to move back to Idaho so maybe that was best.)

I'm going to compare situations here and make some inference from my own experience.  So maybe she is suddenly, now that she is directly faced with it, not ready to come out?  You should give her some time.  Send her the periodic text or leave her the occasional message letting her know you're still there and that you care.  She'll come around when she's ready. ;)  That's really all you can do.

オレは長超猿庁じゃ〜。

SarahG

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Re: RANTAGE
« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2008, 04:54:58 PM »
CM and Miyabi are right; there's no knowing for sure how she feels but there's not much you can do about it since she has cut off contact.  If you feel she's worth waiting around for (personally, I have my doubts - she sounds like she's a bit immature and has some pretty major issues), you can follow Miyabi's suggestion - make sure she knows where to find you if she comes around, but otherwise back off and give her space.  If you do end up getting back together again, though, I'd strongly recommend counseling for both of you to work through the abuse issue - which would certainly affect your relationship.  (Great, now I'm starting to sound like Dear Abby. :))
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CthulhuKefka

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Re: RANTAGE
« Reply #4 on: September 09, 2008, 06:28:43 PM »
Thanks for all the responses! It is a crazy situation that I have no clue how to rectify, so I'm going to take SarahG's advice and just back off. She knows where I live if she needs to contact me, our town is a small podunk town in the middle of nowhere, so we only live like 5 minutes from each other.

Miyabi, I wish it was something more than friendship, but it never evolved past friendship, due to my cowardice to not come forward and just speak my feelings. That part I'm guilty on. In high school, I flirted with her a little, mostly sending flowers and poems anonymously. Eventually I told her, which was right before graduation. Four years later, she still says she saved the poems.

Women just confuse me lol.


Miyabi

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Re: RANTAGE
« Reply #5 on: September 09, 2008, 06:37:56 PM »
Miyabi, I wish it was something more than friendship, but it never evolved past friendship, due to my cowardice to not come forward and just speak my feelings. That part I'm guilty on. In high school, I flirted with her a little, mostly sending flowers and poems anonymously. Eventually I told her, which was right before graduation. Four years later, she still says she saved the poems.

Women just confuse me lol.
Maybe something will happen yet, you just have to wait for her to be ready. :)
オレは長超猿庁じゃ〜。

GorgonlaVacaTremendo

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Re: RANTAGE
« Reply #6 on: September 09, 2008, 06:52:03 PM »
In all healthy relationships, whether they be friendships, romantic relations, cordial relations, business relations, family relations, even arch-nemesis, there comes a very special time. That is the time of performing ritualistic mayan human sacrifices on the other person's lawn/porch until they call the police.

However, depending on the situation, you will want to go about it differently. If you are romantically interested, you should do it at dawn with a peasant's family, first scalping and then pulling out the heart. This is the symbolize the Gods blessing the beginning of a strong relationship in which the mind is pulled away from actions and instead the heart becomes the major player.

For a rekindling friendship, you should take a foreign warrior and throw him off a cliff (your friend's roof will do) at about 2:43 am (the Mayans, as most native South American people, had a very keen interest in time and dating). You may want to invest in a satellite clock to make sure you have the time right. You also may want to throw several foreign warriors off at once, to make sure one dies within the one minute time frame. Otherwise you have to do it again the next day. This is the represent the expulsion of negative feelings by means of forgiveness in the darkest part of your friendship. Note: if the sun does not rise the next day, it signifies that the relationship is doomed and the Gods have frowned up you. You should probably kill the other person to appease them, thus bringing the sun back again.

If you haven't tried this yet, it's clear you don't understand women.
"Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other 'sins' are invented nonsense."
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CthulhuKefka

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Re: RANTAGE
« Reply #7 on: September 09, 2008, 07:02:15 PM »
o_O

That....was probably one of the most interesting things I've ever read Gorgon.  :D

I really don't know how to respond.  ;D

Comfortable Madness

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Re: RANTAGE
« Reply #8 on: September 09, 2008, 07:15:19 PM »
In all healthy relationships, whether they be friendships, romantic relations, cordial relations, business relations, family relations, even arch-nemesis, there comes a very special time. That is the time of performing ritualistic mayan human sacrifices on the other person's lawn/porch until they call the police.

However, depending on the situation, you will want to go about it differently. If you are romantically interested, you should do it at dawn with a peasant's family, first scalping and then pulling out the heart. This is the symbolize the Gods blessing the beginning of a strong relationship in which the mind is pulled away from actions and instead the heart becomes the major player.

For a rekindling friendship, you should take a foreign warrior and throw him off a cliff (your friend's roof will do) at about 2:43 am (the Mayans, as most native South American people, had a very keen interest in time and dating). You may want to invest in a satellite clock to make sure you have the time right. You also may want to throw several foreign warriors off at once, to make sure one dies within the one minute time frame. Otherwise you have to do it again the next day. This is the represent the expulsion of negative feelings by means of forgiveness in the darkest part of your friendship. Note: if the sun does not rise the next day, it signifies that the relationship is doomed and the Gods have frowned up you. You should probably kill the other person to appease them, thus bringing the sun back again.

If you haven't tried this yet, it's clear you don't understand women.


Damn!....2:43 AM! Well alot of foreign warriors died at 2:43PM for no reason then. No wonder it never worked right.
I will never serve you, Father of Lies. In a thousand lives, I never have. I know that. Im sure of it. Come. It is time to die. Rand al'Thor

"Mourn if you must. But mourn on the march to Tarmon Gai'don." Logain Ablar

SarahG

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Re: RANTAGE
« Reply #9 on: September 09, 2008, 07:21:36 PM »
If you haven't tried this yet, it's clear you don't understand women.

What wonderful advice, Gorgon!  You should write a daily relationship column.
He ate my horse.

CthulhuKefka

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Re: RANTAGE
« Reply #10 on: September 09, 2008, 08:11:53 PM »
See, that's why i like you guys/gals. I can come in here and post something serious, get serious and appreciated responses, and then you all can make me smile with something off the wall and random.  ;D

Kudos to you all.

GreenMonsta

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Re: RANTAGE
« Reply #11 on: September 09, 2008, 08:30:29 PM »
If it doesnt work then all you have to do is realize life isnt that bad in Millis. You could always take the extra hour or two and drive in town. I met the most amazing girl from Ireland in Boston just last week. You never know.
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CthulhuKefka

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Re: RANTAGE
« Reply #12 on: September 09, 2008, 08:37:15 PM »
I'd rather take the T into Boston that drive (I hate, hate, HATE driving in big cities  ;D), but I see what you're getting at. To be honest, I just can't put it out of my mind until I get some sort of resolution, be it good or bad.

GreenMonsta

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Re: RANTAGE
« Reply #13 on: September 09, 2008, 09:02:54 PM »
Then theres nothing you can do but drive on with the mission
"No signs of anything that could cause even a slight case of death"

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SarahG

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Re: RANTAGE
« Reply #14 on: September 10, 2008, 04:57:41 PM »
I'd rather take the T into Boston that drive (I hate, hate, HATE driving in big cities ;D), but I see what you're getting at. To be honest, I just can't put it out of my mind until I get some sort of resolution, be it good or bad.

I hate driving in cities too, but frankly I think Chicago is worse than Boston.  In Boston they're crazy but it's all a game.  In Chicago the drivers are downright hostile.  And it's not just big cities that annoy me - my absolute least favorite place to drive is Kansas City - none of the highways or intersections make sense.  (And I've lived just an hour away for the last 6 years, so you'd think I'd be able to learn them by now.)

As for resolution, I would say that you should consider this relationship over.  Don't expect anything more to develop from it, ever.  Write her off - she was once a good friend, but later you two somehow got on different tracks.  That's not how it works in the movies, but honestly that's the way life is - sometimes things just don't work out the way you'd like.  Sometimes there's not even a nice neat closure - things just fade away.  So I'd say, try to consign your friend to the lovely memories section of your brain, and stop thinking of what could have been or might yet be.  For some reason, she is either not willing or not ready for those scenarios.  For your own emotional health, I'd advise trying to forget her.

I know, easier said than done.
He ate my horse.