Don't really have any specific questions, except that I worry that it isn't cohesive because I made some decisions mid-writing and tried to go back and fix things, but might have missed them. Also, just a little background, because I've figured out some things for Chapter 1 that will be fixed: the reason why Dach gets cursed is because he missed the blessing his father gave his sons when the next eldest son left. Dach doesn't take it as seriously as he ought to, so this is why his father is so upset, and this is why he gets cursed.
Also, do I need the father character? Or could I just kill off the dad pre-story and have the mother come to the marketplace? I was trying to create an emotionally healthy family who is poverty-stricken. Did that succeed? What kinds of details are missing?
How about pacing? (Wow, the questions just seem to flow when I get started.) Am I breezing by moments that should be lengthened? Dragging?
Should I refer to the cobbler's wife as Mistress something instead of by her first name? I have decided so far that only nobility use any sort of surname, as I'm setting it in a roughly early Middle Ages kind of time period, in which the only bynames people would have used would have been related to occupation or location, and usually not even then. Does this work? Or do my young characters come off as disrespecting elders by calling them by their first names?
Shoes/lack thereof are an imagery I'd like to keep throughout the story because she has to have a smith make iron shoes for her later in the story. Is this working so far? I've wondered if I should just make her barefoot, as most people in her station in this kind of world would just go barefoot from late spring to early fall. I think I'm trying to improve the standard of living to include the expectation that shoes should fit relatively well, that clothes should not be threadbare, etc. Is this a trouble spot? Any suggestions on how it might be improved?
I've been struggling with a reason to get her to leave home, especially because she's so important to the work now that her sisters are gone. Poverty seems to me to be a good motivation--her sisters have gone to seek their fortunes, and the cobbler's wife knows where they've gone, thus what I've done so far. But is this incongrous with the single coin? Would the single gold coin pay for more than one pair of shoes? Should I make it a silver penny?
