Read this prologue

[FortisRevenge]

Hello all, I am new to this community. I just recently finished Mistborn, which is now one of my favorite books.

Lately I have been trying to write my own novel, and people who love fantasy, I hope will read it. I have a blog that has my 4th draft of a prologue to the book.

Keep in mind, it is the 4th draft so there are still many mistakes, not storywise, but I think i spelled every one, like everyone a few times. Just small things like that.
The story is about a man called Fortis, and this is the prologue to his life. Here is the url,

http://fortisforeverlostsecrets.blogspot.com/2006/09/prologue-4th-draft_02.html

Post what you think here, or email me using the blog email. Send it to your friends whatever, just tell me what you guys think...

Thanks

[FortisRevenge]

Well, I went through and edited it again, because I figured if people are going to be reading it, I had better fix those small mistakes. I have gone through and fixed it. Tell me if you catch any more, I tried to be as thorough as I could. But still it is better if somebody else reads it.
Please post your thoughts, Tell me what parts you liked, which parts you didn't. This is my first attempt at a novel, and I want to learn what I need to do.
Thanks to everybody who has read it.

Seriously, I know it is long, but post your thoughts when you are done, or email me through the blog.