Some of the confusion with Vasher may just stem from the Command word he uses on himself: "Return." It was ambiguous as to whether he is making himself a Returned, commanding his Returned status to return, etc. If what he actually had been doing was
hiding his divine Breath, just changing the word ("Reveal" or some synonym) might make things clearer.
I liked the epilogue...I think it's always better to leave things unsaid than to say too much. I did think it could have used
a little more meat to go with the witty banter, though. To wrap things up, it might have been nice to read some combination (not necessarily all) of:
- Vivenna questions Vasher a little more...what has he been doing for the past few centuries, why did he leave Hallendren in the first place, why did he come back (why would he care if the Pahn Kahl plot succeeded), and why is he leaving now rather than sticking around to make sure things work out okay?
- Vasher and Susebron talk...given all the instructions Vasher apparently left the last time, he seems remarkably uncaring about the massive political upheaval he's leaving in his wake this time. If the next book is going to take place in another kingdom, resolving the outstanding Hallendren/Idris issues seems important.
- Vivenna and Siri talk a little more...we've had dialogue where Vivenna realizes how Siri has changed, but Siri's realization of how much Vivenna has changed was only briefly touched on. Plus if this is the conclusion of Siri's character arc, it would be good to have a little more closure with her.
(Also, one comment on the past two chapters: in the last chapter Siri was quite willing try to hold Susebron back from trying to save Idris, even if it cost Idris many lives; in this chapter, Vivenna is quite willing to go off adventuring without waiting to see if Idris will be saved, or doing anything to help. Cutting the cord is a good thing, but this lack of caring about their homeland didn't feel quite right.)
Anyway, wow...I know you've been done with the story for a while, but congratulations! And thank you so much for posting all the chapters online, it was very brave to subject your early drafts to all this scrutiny but I've found it both fascinating and useful, not to mention fun. I think I'll pause for a few weeks to clear my head, then give the whole thing a re-read at once, to read it as a novel. I'll also definitely be picking up the book when it's released in print.
Edits:
Anyway, The question I have then, is does that make Vasher her Great great great great great great grandfather? or something?
[...]
So, he was a scholar before he was Returned.
Vasher wasn't a member of the royal family -- he was called "the Usurper" after all.
I don't think it says he was a scholar before he was Returned; he says he can't remember before he was Returned.
MattD