Author Topic: Warbreaker: Free Ebook  (Read 182071 times)

DavidB

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #420 on: February 12, 2007, 06:18:47 AM »
Regarding Vivenna's hair, one notes that it didn't grow or change color during the couple of weeks when she was storing her breath in the shawl, but it changed color within ten minutes of her getting it back. Vivenna thinks that that's because she was on the streets for those two weeks, and was scared the whole time...still, it's suggestive.

This doesn't really address your point, but I dislike calling breath "potential energy". The term has a specific meaning which is different from what you're using it to mean, unless you're literally suggesting that breath can be converted in a definite ratio to heat and electricity, and someone with a lot of breath should weigh more than someone with none (in accordance with relativity*).

It would make sense for drabs to live shorter lives and be sick more often than regular people, but nothing about that has been mentioned in the story (as far as I remember). It seems like if that were true, then people would be more reluctant to give up their breaths than they seem to be in the story (ie. people wouldn't encourage their kids to give their breaths to the gods if they knew that that would make the kids get sick and live shorter lives). So maybe the added lifespan/immune system boost that you get with a single breath is small enough not to be noticeable and it takes a few hundred to have any real effect.

*They wouldn't weigh much more, of course. If we assume that one breath provides enough energy for one lifeless to live for about one human lifespan (I assumed 2000 food calories per day for 80 years), and the God King absorbs 2 extra breaths per day, then he would gain about 2 kilograms every 1000 years.

EUOL

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #421 on: February 14, 2007, 01:31:19 PM »
I keep meaning to respond to some of the points of discussion here.  (As always, very useful.)  Perhaps I'll do that in a bit, but for now, I'll post the new chapter before I get distracted and forget.

This is Lightsong.  Remember, our last chapter form him was the short two paragraph one. 

Chapter forty-seven
http://www.BrandonSanderson.com

"Technically, I don't even have a brain."--Fellfrosch

Tjaeden

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #422 on: February 14, 2007, 07:38:42 PM »
This is Lightsong.  Remember, our last chapter form him was the short two paragraph one. 

Rename EOUL to "Mr. How can we forget"?  It was so cruel...  I don't think any TV show ever had a cliffhanger quite like Lightsong did. =)


I love what the repetition of the word "perfect" does for Lightsong's character.  It definitely shows us that his mind set has changed, that he realizes what his "god-hood" has cost.  I love the character even more.  "Die.  Die so we can keep believing."  - That sent a shiver threw me, and I think that one thought sets in motion the revealing (or soon to be) of what the priests are really up to, how the whole system works.   A clue to Lightsong's past!  Nice touch. 

And it ends with a man who doesn't want to be a hero taking up the burdens of responsibility - defiantly how Lightsong should have went.  However, I'm kind of sad that it looks like it will be in such a bloodthirsty way.  I kind of liked the detective story (which, what happened to that?).  I thought that had more character building potential then the command of the zombies.
« Last Edit: February 14, 2007, 07:54:03 PM by Tjaeden »
Once I dreamt of death /
now it dreams of me,
And only rats and rotting flesh /
can hear my silent plea...

dawncawley

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #423 on: February 15, 2007, 02:24:57 AM »
This is such a good chapter. I like that he is doing something now, that maybe he might be more than just the comic relief. I have always felt that he was important, but I like to see it in writing too :)

Now, about this mysterious female.... I have a theory, but it is only half baked, so I don't know how accurate it would be. I have feeling that if she isn't, or wasn't rather, his wife or lover, perhaps she is a family member of some kind. My natural inclination would be towards a sister, I wouldn't know for sure, and wouldn't it be a kick in the pants if it tied to Jewels somehow? Sorry, that bit just came to me as I was typing, if I am rambling I apologize.


firstRainbowRose

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #424 on: February 15, 2007, 05:39:21 AM »
Well, I think the genral opinion is that he's related to one of our other groups somehow... so your Jewels comment doesn't sound as crazy as would be thought.  Maybe his mystry girl is the one that Vasher killed, and Nightblood was trying to brag to but refused to hear that she had been killed?
"The custom of royalty in referring to oneself is to naturally employ the royal 'we'. We are very happy, we are very sad, we are bored and suffer from ennui. For a royal prince there's no such word as 'me', It's always 'we'. So rightfully I should be two or three, don't you agree?"

dawncawley

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #425 on: February 19, 2007, 09:57:08 AM »
That is an interesting thought, but I am not sure about the timing, about any of it actually :) But that is the fun part of reading this online and learning the timing.

Is it just me, or has this discussion kind of died down a bit more between chapters than it had previously? Or maybe it is just this chapter that seems to be slow discussion wise. I haven't really been able to keep up to much with my school schedule keeping me busy.

firstRainbowRose

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #426 on: February 20, 2007, 02:08:35 AM »
They have slowed down.  I think we all realize that anything we could talk about will hopefully be revealed soon.  Or maybe there isn't anything to chew on yet.
"The custom of royalty in referring to oneself is to naturally employ the royal 'we'. We are very happy, we are very sad, we are bored and suffer from ennui. For a royal prince there's no such word as 'me', It's always 'we'. So rightfully I should be two or three, don't you agree?"

dreamking47

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #427 on: February 20, 2007, 04:43:52 AM »
Here's a question: can Breath be used in the dark?

MattD
"It had blood in it.  That makes it a good metaphor." -- Tonk Fah, in EUOL's Warbreaker

vadia

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #428 on: February 20, 2007, 07:30:41 AM »
I just started and I'm pleasantly surprised to find another pretty original magic system (It seems a little too voodoo oriented to be fully original)

The description of magic is quite interesting, but the BioChromatic sounds too high tech for the world I'm expecting robots or cloning tanks at the least when I hear BioChromatic. 
To ease me into the world why not Chromancy, ChromaticArts, or Chromatology?

One more nitpick
Quote
The man hung from the ceiling, naked and chained
I thought that he was hung when I first read this, perhaps "Chains hung the naked prisoner to the ceiling" or something of the like -- emphasizing not hanging, but chains.

By the way the earlier thread about apostrophes opened my eyes to how others could find them annoying -- I find that they fill the gap that a schwa cannot easily fill.  (the upsidedown e saying -- I don't make much sound.)

Thank you Euol for giving us the chance to make our comments.

Sorry if I missed a post in the 29 pages hence.

firstRainbowRose

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #429 on: February 20, 2007, 07:40:17 AM »
I would think so.  I mean, nothing we've seen so far has implied that it would be stopped becauses there isn't light.  Heck, I bet you could put breaths into a candle and make it almost like a lightbulb.  *thinks*  A glowing lifeless... that would be cool!
"The custom of royalty in referring to oneself is to naturally employ the royal 'we'. We are very happy, we are very sad, we are bored and suffer from ennui. For a royal prince there's no such word as 'me', It's always 'we'. So rightfully I should be two or three, don't you agree?"

dreamking47

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #430 on: February 20, 2007, 02:20:07 PM »
If Breath needs to extract color/chroma (which is reflected/refracted light) from the surrounding environment to work, then if there is no light it might not be usable.  And it might be more difficult to use if there was minimal light.  I guess the question is whether the graying of surrounding material is a matter of chemistry or physics.

I think that "biochroma" is the same sort of word as "bioluminescence" -- specifically involving life ("bio-"), in this case the "colors of life."  There's also actually a difference in meaning between "hanged" (executed) and "hung" (suspended from).

MattD
"It had blood in it.  That makes it a good metaphor." -- Tonk Fah, in EUOL's Warbreaker

vadia

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #431 on: February 20, 2007, 05:49:09 PM »
If Breath needs to extract color/chroma (which is reflected/refracted light) from the surrounding environment to work, then if there is no light it might not be usable.  And it might be more difficult to use if there was minimal light.  I guess the question is whether the graying of surrounding material is a matter of chemistry or physics.

I think that "biochroma" is the same sort of word as "bioluminescence" -- specifically involving life ("bio-"), in this case the "colors of life."  There's also actually a difference in meaning between "hanged" (executed) and "hung" (suspended from).

MattD
I agree, but when reading the draft -- those things made me think of certain elements that I did not think that Brandon wanted his audience to think of.  Therefore, I thought I might point it out.
I figured it out within a few paragraphs or sentences, but it didn't flow like Elantris and Mistborn and I fear that a new reader might get bogged down with those points.

vadia

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #432 on: February 20, 2007, 05:58:17 PM »
Later, after Siri had traveled even further away.  Yet, Vivenna rose.  She was obedient; it was the way she had been trained.  That was one of the things that had always separated her from Siri

This line also confused me for a moment. 

I think that maybe it should be
Latar, after Siri had traveled even furhter away.
Yet, etc.,

vadia

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #433 on: February 20, 2007, 07:09:58 PM »
Another line which gave me pause
Bluefingers the Anal
Wouldn't that be derived from Anal-retentative, a principle from freud.  Which means that
a) they have the same messed up psychology
b) that level of technology is in 1900's level tech (for understanding psychology)
and
c) the slang developed the same.

Given the culture I would have thought that a color would be more apt.  Bluefingers the Grey or something.  The science is obviously heavily influenced by Biochromatics and therefore the terms would parallel.

I just decided to edit my posts “That’s the thing, Spook,”   should be Scoot.

If there are multiple colored inks for each letter why is he bluefingers? wouldn't his fingers be smudged with multiple colors?
Or am I not understanding something?

It will only get worse, she thought as the doctor doing his examination.  Susebron, the God King.   I don't get what Siri is saying here.

Siri paused.  How could he tell. . . . 
   And then she saw it.  She had to look very closely, but the yellow on the floor around the surgeon looked a tad brighter than that more distance
  How could he tell . . ? maybe -- but an elipsis question is hard to punctuate -- I am not sure it needs an elipsis it could be distracting
More distant?

The capitol G on god bothers me -- capitol G means a monotheistic God -- as in that's His name.   A god is one of many -- yet the word god is capitolized when it's clear that the god in quesiton is one of many.

Beside them were a minstrels that Lightsong had called for, yet hadn’t yet asked to   was a minstral? were minstrals?

Politics, my dear,” he said with a sigh.  “You know how I loath them   this usage is loathe I am loath to tell you that though.  I just loathe this post.  

“They were taken to quarters outside the Court of Gods, Vessel.   Didn't the priests ask them to go home?  It might have been better to say "reluctantly given quarters"

It might be the transferral to word and spell check but the first time I saw Denth I misread it as Death -- quite shocking actually.
« Last Edit: February 20, 2007, 11:24:21 PM by vadia »

firstRainbowRose

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #434 on: February 20, 2007, 07:21:58 PM »
I see what you're thought is dreamking, but then that goes into the whole "if a tree fell in the middle of the forest without anyone around to hear it, would it still make sound?" type thing.  I think that the colors do exsist in the dark, but, taking into consideration what you said, it may be a bit harder to use them.  That also asks, could white be used? It is after all the absance of all color.  Or even could black be used?  Those are always the questionable colors becauses they're their own little worlds.

Also, I know things fade to gray when all the color is used, but could you use something that was gray to begin with?
"The custom of royalty in referring to oneself is to naturally employ the royal 'we'. We are very happy, we are very sad, we are bored and suffer from ennui. For a royal prince there's no such word as 'me', It's always 'we'. So rightfully I should be two or three, don't you agree?"