Author Topic: Warbreaker: Free Ebook  (Read 164676 times)

Loryn

  • Level 1
  • *
  • Posts: 9
  • Fell Points: 0
  • I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
    • View Profile
Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #105 on: August 10, 2006, 01:27:20 AM »
I understand you taking Mab out when Siri goes to the city.  She was kind of piontless.  But I did like her as the cook so keep her there.  

I also did not think that you are going overboard with the dialoge.  I like humor and quick tongued characters.  I will tell you if I get annoyed okay.

« Last Edit: August 10, 2006, 01:51:57 AM by Loryn »

digitalbias

  • Level 2
  • **
  • Posts: 15
  • Fell Points: 0
    • View Profile
Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #106 on: August 10, 2006, 04:48:27 PM »
Right off the bat, I have to admit that I'm just starting to read the Warbreaker chapters. I'm almost done with "part 1" and have to admit that cutting out Mab was a very good idea, however there are a few things that will have to be changed if you cut her out:

I think her help with the introduction to the city and some of the customs and Lifeless were helpful. Maybe an escort for the trip, who then has to return to her father? A merchant on his way that her father has asked to travel with her? Anyway, somebody who has been there before who can introduce us as well as Siri to the city for the first time is still a useful character.

Also, I think you need to have more scenes with Vasher throughout the story. More build up for him. I love Nightblood...Reminds me of the old AD&D days when you had a lot more intelligent swords. Also hints at the whole Elric thing...a bloodthirsty sword. Frankly, I look forward to his scenes the most, and I've only read two with him in them.

I don't have a problem with the Siri coming into the city part at all, but I think I'd emphasize it more. Give more detail on her reactions and how it hurts the eyes or gives her a headache looking at the riot of color.

Finally, in chapter 7, the paragraph beginning with "The servants surrounded her like an honor guard..." was the first time I remember reading about the modest/immodest clothing between the two countries and when I finished reading the paragraph I was still confused at why it was immodest.

That's all for now.

EUOL

  • Moderator
  • Level 58
  • *
  • Posts: 4708
  • Fell Points: 33
  • Mr. Prolific [tm]
    • View Profile
    • Brandon Sanderson dot com
Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #107 on: August 10, 2006, 06:26:27 PM »
Digitalbias,

Wonderful comments!  Thank you!  

The reaction to Vasher has been so good that I'm thinking of adding a few more of his viewpoints into the early part of the book.  I intend to use him a lot more by the end.  Keep reading, let me know what you think, and then during the rewrite I'll see if I can find more places for him.  I think you'll understand better what I'm doing once you reach the place where he comes into the plot more.
http://www.BrandonSanderson.com

"Technically, I don't even have a brain."--Fellfrosch

Loryn

  • Level 1
  • *
  • Posts: 9
  • Fell Points: 0
  • I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
    • View Profile
Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #108 on: August 11, 2006, 01:11:17 AM »
Hey Brandon I got alittle bit confused in chapter 15 when vivenna was entering the stadium and she was thinking about the aruas of the men at the doors.  

This is what was writen:  " The same thing happened to people who came close to Siri, but her aura was even stronger."  

Did you really mean Vivenna or did you mean that Siri had BioChromatic Breath too?  

Plus I really like how you keep sneaking cherries into the story.  
« Last Edit: August 11, 2006, 01:12:42 AM by Loryn »

EUOL

  • Moderator
  • Level 58
  • *
  • Posts: 4708
  • Fell Points: 33
  • Mr. Prolific [tm]
    • View Profile
    • Brandon Sanderson dot com
Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #109 on: August 11, 2006, 02:03:39 PM »
Oops!  Yes, that was supposed to Vivenna.  One of the problems with writing sisters are protagonists.  I gets a little confuzed sometimes.

I keep expecting to see a "Vin" pop up instead of a "Vivenna."  Should have stayed away from "V" names I think....
http://www.BrandonSanderson.com

"Technically, I don't even have a brain."--Fellfrosch

Spriggan

  • Administrator
  • Level 78
  • *****
  • Posts: 10582
  • Fell Points: 31
  • Yes, I am this awesome
    • View Profile
    • Legacies Lost
Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #110 on: August 11, 2006, 02:11:48 PM »
You should make Vivenna like caned sausages. mmmm....Vivenna Sausages.
Screw it, I'm buying crayons and paper. I can imagineer my own adventures! Wheeee!

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.


Miriel

  • Level 2
  • **
  • Posts: 30
  • Fell Points: 0
    • View Profile
Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #111 on: August 12, 2006, 12:31:42 PM »
I just read chapters 19 and 20.  I had a little bit of trouble following Siri's thoughts at the begining of 19: this part of the prose seemed more jumbled.  The scene following it...hilarious.  I really like the way the God-King character is turning out.  The possibility that he's frightened and not as in control as everyone thinks makes him very interesting -- even likable.

I was happy to see more mentioning of Awakening in chapter 20.  I was fascinated by Vasher's use of magic in the first chapter, and I've been hoping to see more of it ever since.

GLE

  • Level 3
  • ***
  • Posts: 53
  • Fell Points: 0
  • blah blah blah blah blah.........
    • View Profile
Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #112 on: August 16, 2006, 01:19:27 PM »
Just wut the world needs... more canned sausages! Sprig you should make them. you could earn millions!!!

EUOL

  • Moderator
  • Level 58
  • *
  • Posts: 4708
  • Fell Points: 33
  • Mr. Prolific [tm]
    • View Profile
    • Brandon Sanderson dot com
Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #113 on: August 16, 2006, 02:56:21 PM »
For those of you who wanted more Vasher:

www.brandonsanderson.com/graphics/WarbreakerCh21-1.0.doc
http://www.BrandonSanderson.com

"Technically, I don't even have a brain."--Fellfrosch

digitalbias

  • Level 2
  • **
  • Posts: 15
  • Fell Points: 0
    • View Profile
Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #114 on: August 16, 2006, 04:44:23 PM »
I just finished chapter 18. I like the way the story is progressing, and like the hints of things to come, however I think the last scene in chapter 18 needs something more.

The conversation between Siri and Lightbringer felt rushed, which doesn't seem to suit Lightbringer at all. Seems like he'd be just as happy to spend the time watching Siri and checking his opinion on her as he would with Blushweaver.  Why take the effort to go back when he could nible on treats and befuddle Siri?

Also, I understood the whole grape metaphor but it felt forced ... but then maybe that was the point.

Anyway, I'll keep the comments coming and I'm looking forward to catching up.

Kuntrey_Pilgrum

  • Level 4
  • *
  • Posts: 80
  • Fell Points: 0
  • One by one, the penguins stold my sanity....
    • View Profile
Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #115 on: August 16, 2006, 10:27:30 PM »
 I have to say, I'm sorry, EUOL, but this chapter was kind of an anticlimax for me :'( I had just been waiting for some Vasher, but all that happened was that we find out that the preists are hiding something!
Otherwise, you are the best writer of fiction i've read in a while. ;D :D ;D
No Ninja Monkey can stand up to my Penguin Commandos! ATTACK!!!!
   
"This has to be an indicator of insanity. Not only am I talking to myself, i'm refusing to speak to me!"

Kuntrey_Pilgrum

  • Level 4
  • *
  • Posts: 80
  • Fell Points: 0
  • One by one, the penguins stold my sanity....
    • View Profile
Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #116 on: August 20, 2006, 05:42:34 PM »
To sound every inch the hypocrite, I reread the chapter, and found it better then when I just breezed through it.

Also, since it seems to be my Sunday to hate people,
whoever posted the random thread needs hung out and shot!!!!
 ::EDIT:: Sorry GLE, but that post kinda annoyed me, because I had just lost to that evil steward.....
Anyway, I believe that I should start posting like you do.  I'd be an InkDryer no longer ;D
« Last Edit: August 20, 2006, 05:46:08 PM by Kuntry_Bumpken »
No Ninja Monkey can stand up to my Penguin Commandos! ATTACK!!!!
   
"This has to be an indicator of insanity. Not only am I talking to myself, i'm refusing to speak to me!"

Kuntrey_Pilgrum

  • Level 4
  • *
  • Posts: 80
  • Fell Points: 0
  • One by one, the penguins stold my sanity....
    • View Profile
Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #117 on: August 20, 2006, 11:09:17 PM »
I have decided that, after much deliberation, that I will no longer say or type anything when I am on the warpath. Let this be my public apology... :-[
   
    ::EDIT:: Thanks. I will be sure to remember that in the future. 8)
« Last Edit: August 21, 2006, 10:01:55 PM by Kuntry_Bumpken »
No Ninja Monkey can stand up to my Penguin Commandos! ATTACK!!!!
   
"This has to be an indicator of insanity. Not only am I talking to myself, i'm refusing to speak to me!"

Peter Ahlstrom

  • Administrator
  • Level 59
  • *
  • Posts: 4902
  • Fell Points: 2
  • Assistant to Mr. Sanderson
    • View Profile
Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #118 on: August 20, 2006, 11:53:59 PM »
If you need to add more information to a thread, and your post is the most recent one, please edit it and stick the new stuff on the end instead of double- or triple-posting.  :-/
All Saiyuki fans should check out Dazzle! Emotionally wrenching action-adventure and quirky humor! (At least read chapter 6 and tell me if you're not hooked.) Volume 10 out now!

digitalbias

  • Level 2
  • **
  • Posts: 15
  • Fell Points: 0
    • View Profile
Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #119 on: August 23, 2006, 12:59:40 PM »
I'm all caught up now.

Just one question about chapter 21

If Vasher jumps down from a high building with "stiff pants" then what happens when he lands...I know they are supposed to absorb the impact, but do the pants themselves do an acordian like thing, or just stay stiff?

If they stay stiff, what keeps the pants from ramming up into Vasher himself and causing...severe discomfort?