Author Topic: Warbreaker: Free Ebook  (Read 172727 times)

EUOL

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #195 on: November 08, 2006, 05:02:46 PM »
Everyone,

New Chapter!
Chapter Thirty Two

Wincall,

Welcome!  Thanks for the comments.  Your English is amazing.  I actually took four years of French in high school, but have forgotten almost all of it!  My trip to Paris as a senior, however, was one of the highlights of my high school experience.  I stayed with a family, and really enjoyed myself.  

Elantris is slated for a 2008 release in France, I think.  We're annoyed that it's taking so long, but ah well.  

Thanks again for your thoughts!  The things you said about Vasher are very interesting to me.
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"Technically, I don't even have a brain."--Fellfrosch

EUOL

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #196 on: November 08, 2006, 05:06:25 PM »
Also, note that Part Two has been updated to 2.0.  I'll do a comparison document sometime.

Part Two Collection Version 2.0(Chapters 14-25 in one download)

This section has place where we skip a couple of chapters in name only, since I'm adjusting the chapter numbers to make the prologue into chapter one, and because I had misnamed one of the other chapters.  
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EUOL

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #197 on: November 16, 2006, 04:03:16 AM »
New Chapter:

Chapter Thirty Three

Sorry it's a bit late!
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"Technically, I don't even have a brain."--Fellfrosch

dreamking47

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #198 on: November 17, 2006, 01:22:27 PM »
Thanks so much for posting the comparison document between drafts one and two.  It's fascinating to see this process in action: it's one thing to hear "don't worry about X, Y or Z in the first draft, you'll have the chance to fix them in later drafts" and another to actually see that happen.  I'm as critical of my own writing as I must seem to be here; I think I'm an editor by mindset, but I enjoy the act of writing too much to be an editor.  I write very slowly, always trying to make the first draft perfect...it's something I'm trying to cure myself of, and your courage in posting this helps enormously.  I know you and your publisher had some initial concerns about what posting chapters online would do to the novel's eventual sales when it reaches print, but know that I at least will definitely be buying it, to see the final result of all the drafts and editorial work as compared to the first draft.

Anyway, catching up with reading the chapters:

I really liked Vivenna in Chapter 32; she's been such a controlled character, it makes her much more human and sympathetic when all her thoughts and emotions start to boil over.  I also thought it was neat how you had Vivenna decide to use her Breaths, and then fail in the attempt: choice without benefit, in contrast to the scene where she acquires them, which was benefit without choice.

I also really liked Dust, the storyteller in Chapter 33, and his multimedia method of storytelling.  Very imaginative!  (I'm imagining though the pile of debris he must leave in his wake, there's some untapped potential for humor there at the end of the chapter.)  The we-storytellers-know-the-truth-about-the-God Kings explanation works as far as Siri's ignorance but sidesteps the larger question of why nobody else has noticed (scholars in Idris, Llarimar or Lightsong in previous chapters, etc.) and told her.  Some alternate ideas: a) what if everybody knew about this but Siri, simply because she hadn't paid attention to tutors; or b) what if, as I hinted at suggesting before, the sacrifice of the God Kings after an heir is born is part of the religion, something Susebron had been indoctrinated for by the priests from a young age.  I don't know if either of those actually work with the story, with what you have planned for Susebron, but the explanation presented in this chapter still feels a little forced to me and somewhat dilutes the main surprise of the chapter, that the Idris royalty is descended from the First Returned.

I confess, even after this chapter I'm still confused (perhaps even more-so) about who was fighting who in the Manywar.  Were the Five Scholars all within Hanald, or were they spread out among other nations?  This chapter also makes me a bit confused about Austre.  If the Five Visions date to the start of Hanald, was Austre worshiped there, in the merchant nation based on colorful dyes?

MattD
« Last Edit: November 17, 2006, 01:23:15 PM by dreamking47 »
"It had blood in it.  That makes it a good metaphor." -- Tonk Fah, in EUOL's Warbreaker

Drerio

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #199 on: November 18, 2006, 02:03:34 AM »
EUOL -

Chapter 33 was had excellent plot advancement.  Siri is finally growing up and growing into her own.  Her rebelliousness is coming in handy, and in a lot of ways, she has grown up more quickly than her sister.  I would suspect that this difference is reflective of your own religious experience in which individuals who believe in absolutes, but do not understand what they believe (Vivenna) have a harder time accepting challenges to their beliefs than those who believe to their core, but are more flexible (Siri).

I did, however, have a couple of questions.  In chapter 31, you mention that Hopefinder looked to be about 12, and had stopped maturing on the brink of manhood, but had stopped there.  In chapter 16, you describe the God King as about 20, but maybe not quite.  If, as you describe in chapter 31, all returned, the God King included, follow the same developmental paradigm, then should not the God King also look only about 12?  Also, if Returned only mature to the brink of manhood, how could they ever reproduce since they have not yet gone through puberty.  (Hopefinder is quite blatant about how Blushweaver's seduction would not work on him.)

Also, I am a bit confused about the origin of the Royals line.  Since each baby born to a normal mother by a God King Returned is still-born, why is it that: 1. the Royals are normal (do not require additional breaths to live), and 2. the God Kings are unable to change their hair color the way the Royals are?  The way Dust talks about Peacegiver is as a Returned, but really no more special in what he is than any other Returned in except for his being an importance historical figure.  But perhaps you are going to say that the reason the line from Peacegiver must be male is that female children born from a male Returned are able to bear live young.

Also, if Returned are able to bear children, why is there not more worry about a God giving birth to a child?  It seems that this should be a major point.  For some reason, I thought you had mentioned that Returned were sterile, so this was not a problem, but I can't find that in the text nor would this fit with the God King's ability to produce an heir.


Cheers,
Drerio

dawncawley

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #200 on: November 18, 2006, 09:49:03 PM »
Alright. I have caught up and am still fascinated by Lightsong. I still have a feeling there is more there than I am seeing, or maybe I am wanting more from him. I feel that he is important as more than just a God.

Peacegiver was not the first Returned was he? I read the last post and was mildly confused, but not sure if I had read the chapter correctly myself.

 I love the use of Dust the storyteller, and hope that we will get to see him at least one more time, but perhaps more, as a way to help inform Siri and move the story a bit. He also gives us some background that would be drier and harder to stomach if it was from a "book" that Siri read for information, in my opinion.

I agree that Siri seems to be maturing, and adapting, far better than her sister at this point in the story. Hopefully, there will be a goodly portion of life slapping her sister in the face, as there was in Chapter 32, I think it was. I lose track of which chapter I am reading, I apologize if I got it wrong. I think a healthy dose of reality will help both sisters, and Siri is taking her own steps to find it.

Sorry if this didn't really make a whole lot of sense, I have spent the day dealing with a fussy and feverish three year old, so I may not be making the best sense ever.  :-[ 


Edit on Nov. 22:
I was looking over the comparison draft, and found a passage that had a bit of a boo-boo. I thought you might want to know about it....Here it is , I just pasted it so I didn't mess up the wording...

/quote
The man hung from the ceiling, naked and chained.  But, more importantly, he was gagged. And his color was vibrant to Vasher’s eyes, the color of his skin pure, his ragged clothing deep and brown.
/end quote


The part I question is this, if he is naked and chained how is his clothing ragged, or a deep brown? This is the only thing I found, but it is late, and I don't even know if I put this very well. I am sorry if it sounds mean or nitpicky... I most certainly don't mean it that way.
« Last Edit: November 22, 2006, 09:59:55 AM by dawncawley »

EUOL

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #201 on: November 23, 2006, 05:26:38 PM »
New Chapter from Spain!

Chapter Thirty Four

Enjoy. 
http://www.BrandonSanderson.com

"Technically, I don't even have a brain."--Fellfrosch

dawncawley

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #202 on: November 25, 2006, 07:54:26 AM »
Thank you :)

DavidB

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #203 on: November 26, 2006, 01:21:51 AM »
Here are two very, very small nitpicks that nobody else is likely to notice, ever:

Of course, there was far too much clatter at present, but that didn’t stop her from thrilling a little bit at her part in it.

You should remove the emphasis on the word "too".

“If things don’t turn out as I want them to,” she said, taking a deep breath, heart fluttering.  “I want you to get Susebron and I out of the palace.”

You should have a comma, rather than a period, after the word "fluttering." Also, to be grammatically correct, Siri ought to say "Susebron and me."

MPlease

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #204 on: November 28, 2006, 03:21:55 AM »
I'd just like to point out that the link to Part Two 2.0 isn't working anymore and that chapters 30 and 33 aren't opening for me at all. Admitedly, I'm using appleworks instead of word, but appleworks doesn't have any problems any other word docs I've come across or any of the other chapters. If anyone technically inclined could maybe help me out a bit? Pretty please with a cherry on top?
English doesn't borrow from other languages. English follows other languages down dark alleys, knocks them over and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.

EUOL

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #205 on: November 29, 2006, 05:49:28 PM »
Another new Chapter from Spain! 

Chapter Thirty Five

Enjoy. 

Mpease:  Not sure what's up.  I'll try to fix things, if I can.
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"Technically, I don't even have a brain."--Fellfrosch

Miriel

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #206 on: November 30, 2006, 06:36:22 AM »
This, for me, was possibly the most exciting chapter in the book thus far.  Vivenna has always been my favorite of the characters.  Seeing this change in her was unexpected and rather exciting, especially since I think the change was well-done and believable.  It's something I didn't predict, but all the pieces were in the previous chapters for it to make sense.

There were two things, however, that I did think were a little sudden.  Maybe it's just because I'm reading the chapters over such a long period of time.  First, Peprin's little speech seemed to come out of nowhere.  I don't seem to remember him saying anything particularly witty to Jewels or laughing with her, or coming up with a clever idea.  I had no clue that he could speak competently and boldly like that.  It also struck me that he has almost as much right as Vivenna to be bitter about the marriage situation.  Practically engaged to someone you'll never be able to marry?  He'd be smart to not fall in love with her (it would only lead to heartache), but he'd also be unable to court any girls at home, since they'd all know he was meant for Vivenna.  She might resent getting married off to the God-King, but I think he has every right to resent not being eligible for marriage for a long time.  I think that's also added motivation to go to Halladren: he couldn't court anyone in Idris. 

Second, Vasher at the end just appeared.  I seem to remember him mentioning the princess becoming a problem earlier, but I'm not sure if that's my imagination.  This one probably is just because of time-lag, but him being there startled me.  Then again, maybe it was supposed to startle me.

Once again, possibly the most fascinating chapter so far.

Swiggly

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #207 on: December 01, 2006, 02:37:02 AM »
A CLIFFHANGER?!?!?!?!?!

You wretch!
I want to be a publisher at Tor Fantasy when I grow up.

YAY

DavidB

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #208 on: December 01, 2006, 05:46:51 AM »
A CLIFFHANGER?!?!?!?!?!

Oh no!

WILL Vasher find an unlikely ally in Emo Goth Vivenna?
WILL Vivenna persuade the Hallandrens to attack The Pits of HathsinIdris after all, so as to get the Lifeless out of the city so that she can destroy Hallandren?
WILL Siri be embarrassingly naked (again) when Vivenna and Vasher burst in on her in order to murder Susebron with the incredible talking sword?
WILL Vivenna be about to kill Siri, before turning on Vasher at the last possible moment?
WILL alcohol-ichor burn if it catches on fire? Or will it explode?
WHAT will some wag imply that Jewels and Peprin are doing with Clod in private?

TUNE IN NEXT WEEK!

dawncawley

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Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« Reply #209 on: December 02, 2006, 02:46:29 AM »
Ok, I thought that Peprin was a little more vocal, but I noticed that throughout he spent a lot of time with Jewels vs. Vivenna, and he was more open with Jewels as well. I think that could have had something to do with his speaking up to Vivenna, and that is just what I attributed it to.

Vivenna, what to say about Vivenna? I think that she may turn out to be alright..... I guess I always had a hard time with her holiness until she came clean about the fact that she just wanted to be important again. I think that if she is going to be honest with herself, then there may be hope for her yet.

Vasher, gotta love a man with timing huh? Patience must be a heck of a virtue in that one. I figure he had to be lurking somewhere nearby waiting for them to come back, then lurking up there waiting on Vivenna to come up.....

I think this chapter has a lot of potential. Good job.....in my opinion. :)