Author Topic: Warbreaker: Free Ebook  (Read 172732 times)

EUOL

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #180 on: October 25, 2006, 05:40:39 PM »
New Chapter:

Chapter Thirty

I've officially started the 2.0 draft of this book, which is when I read through and make corrections on my own, mostly for consistency.  I'll cut the cook from the early chapter (except the first one) for instance, and will clean up the language a lot.  Your comments, the ones on this thread, won't be implemented until 3.0 or 4.0, but they ARE extremely helpful.

Once I have 2.0 done (which could still be a while, since Warbreaker is, unfortunately, low on my priority lists) I'll start posting the new chapters out of that document instead.  I will also update the large sections--Part One, Two, etc.--to the new version.  However, I'll also post the old versions as well, for any who want to compare.  
« Last Edit: October 25, 2006, 05:41:33 PM by EUOL »
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Swiggly

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #181 on: October 25, 2006, 11:02:30 PM »
"And, more than that, the wounds themselves had a dark black twinge to them.  Like they had been infected with some terrible disease."


Typo? Page fifteen. Bottom of page. Tinge?
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EUOL

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #182 on: October 26, 2006, 07:51:01 PM »
Nice catch!  Thanks.
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Miriel

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #183 on: October 26, 2006, 09:19:28 PM »
For me at least, this chapter was amazing.  So much happened.  The various plot elements were thickening and progressing in very tangible ways.  The extra bits of information we get with Vasher add terribly to the mystery, whereas in previous chapters I often felt like the mysteries were sitting still because nothing that I knew was important was being revealed, though interesting things were happening.  I enjoyed this one a lot.

EUOL

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #184 on: October 26, 2006, 10:23:04 PM »
Thanks, Miriel!

I'm about four chapters into the rewrite, and I'm finding myself cutting quite a bit from the early Siri/Vivenna viewpoints.  My instinct is that the first half of the book is too slow, even by my standards.  You'll see a general tightening of the storylines as I--hopefully--trim the fat.

Things really speed up from where you are on, however.  Some important things really start to happen in the next five or six chapters.
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dreamking47

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #185 on: October 27, 2006, 01:20:55 PM »
I agree, a nice chapter.  The characters are showing an interest in the mysteries you're using to keep us readers interested, which makes me "connect" with the characters more strongly.

MattD
"It had blood in it.  That makes it a good metaphor." -- Tonk Fah, in EUOL's Warbreaker

dawncawley

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #186 on: October 28, 2006, 04:20:16 PM »
Well Brandon, after reading Elantris, and having Mistborn sitting on a to read pile, sorry about that really school is murder right now, I am anxiously awaiting more in this story.

First of all, I read all 30 chapters in the last, I don't know 14 hours or so, with breaks in that time for eating, and sleeping. Personally, I thought that it moved very well, and yes, there could be some trimming, but I think too much could possibly lose something, but it is just a possibility, you seem to have much more insight with this novel. Sorry if that sounds critical, it is meant as a compliment.

I love the characters, and the fact that the questioning isn't just in the rightness of what they are doing, but in the base character natures of themselves. Unfortunately at this point Vasher is intriguing, but I don't know enough about him for my taste, but I guess that is where the mystery comes in, and that is good too.

Lightsong could quite possibly be one of my favorite characters, I just love the interaction that he has, not only with his priests, but with all of the other characters, and I am glad that he finally seems to have a purpose. Other than being terribly witty that is  ;)

I also am really loving the relationship building between Siri and Susebron. I think that aspect has been good since the beginning.

I am anticipating a wonderful plot twist that involves Lightsong, Denth and Vasher. Am I off base on this? I have a feeling that the three of them are not as seperate as they appear to be, but maybe I am just reading too much into it. I am a faithful Melanie Rawn speculator after all ;) And this is proving to be just as much fun, and I can't wait for more. Thank you for that by the way.

So, I guess, long story short, I think this is going beautifully and can't wait to see where the story takes us next. Thank you again :D

Drerio

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #187 on: October 28, 2006, 07:38:41 PM »
EUOL -

I am sorry that I have been a moocher up until this point.

So far, I have enjoyed what you have written, and I am looking forward to future chapters.

The few comments I have are going to be pretty general since I have read most of the chapters as they have been written.

So, in summary: I am really beginning to enjoy the interactions with Lightsong, and he appears to fit the persona of the mercenary band very well.  I am guessing here that he is going to be a dead friend of Denth's.  

I agree with others who have mentioned that this store appears to move too slowly in some of the early parts of the book.    

I think the oddest development so far is the personality shift of the God King.  His early attitudes are completely juvenile with the appearance that he has been kept completely in the dark intellectually up to this point.  In my experience, those who are not used to thinking about things just keep themselves from contemplating them; therefore, they have a very superficial understanding of their beliefs.  Yet in chapter 30, he appears to have the ability to reason relatively well.  However, all of the discussions still seemed too well reasoned on his part.  I think that you may have had that sense as well, or you would not have put in the sentences about him learning very quickly.  However, I still felt that it was a bit forced.

Thanks for allowing us to work on this.  It provides an interesting change to critically discuss a work in progress, other than my own.

Cheers,

Drerio

amyface

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #188 on: October 30, 2006, 07:42:35 PM »
Oh my goodness, I'm having issues waiting for the next chapters. It's like someone telling you they will give you some chocolate next Wednesday. It hurts. I like how the God king talks about his mother. This means that Suri isn't really in Danger. This could give her some good oppertunities to change the country and the system, if she can't do anything about Susebron possibly giving up his life and them having an Heir.

I think Vasher is probably my favorite character for some reason. I keep wanting him to sneak in and talk to vivenna or something. I don't want him to be a bad guy I guess...?

I'm very excited about next Wednesday!

...My coworker who doesn't usually like fantasy at all was talked into reading Elantris (by me) and she really liked it BTW. She's a librarian so that's always good.
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Skar

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #189 on: October 31, 2006, 12:06:19 AM »
And so the serial is reborn.
"Skar is the kind of bird who, when you try to kill him with a stone, uses it, and the other bird, to take vengeance on you in a swirling melee of death."

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EUOL

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #190 on: November 01, 2006, 05:45:11 PM »
Chapter Thirty One

Lightsong this week, and one of my favorite of his chapters, so enjoy!

amyface, Drerio, and dawncawley:

Welcome!  Thank you so much for the comments and the encouragement.  Please, feel free to post any suggestions and thoughts you have about future chapters too.  Also, feel free to spread around news of the book to friends, family, and random people you meet on the street.
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DavidB

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #191 on: November 02, 2006, 01:17:49 AM »
Thanks for the read; I've been having a lot of fun with this!

Here -- for your amusement, I suspect -- are some guesses about what's going to happen next:

- I think this chapter makes it pretty obvious that Lightsong wasn't a cop. I'm pretty sure he was on the other side of the law in his former life. I kind of halfways suspect he was Arsteel, but I can't remember everything that's been said about that guy, so maybe it's impossible.

- Vivenna has to become an awakener, so that she can show off your awesome magic system, which up to now hasn't done much of anything. (Also, she'll get to angst about it. But she'll have no choice because otherwise somebody would die or something.)

- When she does, her hair will give her incredible super power. (Awakeners have to drain the color from something in order to get power to do their magic, but Vivenna's hair can change color from bland brownish to vibrant red whenever she wants, making it a limitless source of color-power. Also, the fact that she can grow more as fast as she needs to means that she can easily use it for awakener-dolls and stuff.)

- Peprin Must Die. Either that, or fall in love with somebody other than Vivenna -- probably somebody working for The Other Side, so that he can perpetrate a heartwrenching betrayal. He certainly cannot end up as Vivenna's love interest -- he would have needed way more character development at the beginning in order to do that.

- If Nightblood kills things by draining their color, I wonder if it can be defeated by Vivenna's hair too? (Also, are greys/lifeless immune?)

- I can't decide whether Siri is going to end up pregnant at the end of this story, but I'm pretty sure Susebron is not going to survive. (It just wouldn't work out between them -- he's too old, too mute, and too undead.)

Incidentally, back in Chapter 23, is there any particular reason you picked mussels (or muscles) as the Food That Freaks Vivenna Out? As far as I know, cooked mussels are kind of a bland beige-ish, in black shells, and they're completely, er, organic, so they should be relatively Austre-friendly. If I wanted to freak Vivenna out, I'd have picked something like strawberry ice cream. With sprinkles on top, with all of the sprinkles meticulously arranged in patterns to look like hearts and smiley faces.  For bonus points, the chef is an awakener, and he comes to the table, awakens the sprinkles, and gets them to arrange themselves into cute shapes. (I imagine it would take a ton of life points, or whatever they were called, in order to awaken sprinkles, but so what? The chef gets them all back after.)

Also, I was half-expecting Lightsong to try to get Blushweaver to juggle, in order to see whether that's really something he's remembering from his past life, or if it's just something all gods can do. But I guess he's not quite that dumb.

dreamking47

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #192 on: November 02, 2006, 09:53:04 AM »
Quote
I kind of halfways suspect he was Arsteel, but I can't remember everything that's been said about that guy, so maybe it's impossible.


I had thought about this initially, too, but Lightsong has been a god for five years, and Arsteel's death was more recent.

It wouldn't surprise me if Peprin somehow dies for Vivenna -- you know, jumps in front of an arrow meant for her or something like that.

MattD
« Last Edit: November 02, 2006, 09:59:05 AM by dreamking47 »
"It had blood in it.  That makes it a good metaphor." -- Tonk Fah, in EUOL's Warbreaker

EUOL

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #193 on: November 02, 2006, 12:43:39 PM »
Interesting guesses....

Anyway, 2.0 for Part One is done!  What's changed?  Well, nothing huge but quite a bit on the small scale.  

*  I removed Mab, the cook, from the chapters after Siri's first encounter with her.
*  I tried to trip references that mentioned exact numbers of Breath when talking about BioChroma.  My feeling was that the first draft was to exact in this regard, and made the magic feel too video-game like.  
*  Awakening now requires color to work--it's not optional.  
*  In the chapter where Siri first enters the Court of Gods and the God King's palace, I made her more nervous and slightly more timid.  
*  Standardized some naming.  Klad the Usurper.  Manywar.  Peacegiver.  Others.  
*  Fixed consistency with Siri's soldiers, her period of Wedding Jubilation, etc.
*  Returned now need to feed on Breath once a week, rather than once a day.  
*  Numerous line edits for clarity, concision, character consistency, and pacing.

If you want a copy, here you go:
Part One Collection Version 2.0(Chapters 1-13 in one download)


And, if you're just interested in seeing how I revise, you might like this document, which shows the changes between the 1.0 version and the 2.0 version:
Comparison Document Part one 1.0 to 2.0

You'll notice that I added an acknowledgements page.  If you're not on there and should be, or if you want me to use your real name rather than your nick, post and let me know.  
« Last Edit: November 02, 2006, 12:47:51 PM by EUOL »
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Windcall

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #194 on: November 06, 2006, 06:14:19 PM »
Hi folks,

well, I'm rather new to this forum thingy, I'm not english speaking (French I'm afraid) , and I'm not by a long shot a litterary critic...but I really love a good fantasy books (hell, I'm a Geek...) and it's fascinating to see  one being written rignt under our eyes...so I though I'd drop by to add my unwanted opinion.

This is about Vasher...I mean, can't suddenly (in chapter 30, page 19) expose him as the Bad Guy, can you? I've enjoyed wondering about him, not too sure what side he was on or if the evil things he did was just the sword and not him. Now, I know he's just the average bad guy who wants to kill those standing in his path...and that takes all the fun out of the character, suddenly he becomes predictable and uninterresting. I would prefer him to stay ambiguous until later when everything comes to a final confrontation.

There is several great characters... perhaps you have too many? The main character might be fleshed out more if there was less secondary character whith a need for bakground...

Thank you Mr Sanderson for this experiment in writing..it's really interesting! I'll keep on reading...(and buying, don't worry!)