Author Topic: Warbreaker: Free Ebook  (Read 164670 times)

Peter Ahlstrom

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #120 on: August 23, 2006, 02:22:37 PM »
Cast-iron underwear.
All Saiyuki fans should check out Dazzle! Emotionally wrenching action-adventure and quirky humor! (At least read chapter 6 and tell me if you're not hooked.) Volume 10 out now!

digitalbias

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #121 on: August 23, 2006, 05:49:24 PM »
Quote
Cast-iron underwear.


That stuff has gott chafe...and rust. Give me titanium with rounded edges (i.e. "comfort fit") any day. ;D

On a more serious note: If you think about wearing pants that would essentially be like putting your legs into two tubes of PVC and jumping off a building....Or making something that looked like pants and then stepping into them and jumping off a building....something's going to get hurt.

You could say, "It grabs onto the waist", but then the pants shove up into your gut..ouch! So it's almost like there has to be some kind of shock absorber that won't have an impact on your body.  There are other articles of clothing that could be used. An example I'm deliberatly ignoring is the idea of "Elevator or platform shoes." Yick.

So the next thing you have to think of is something like an accordian...but then your pants have to be longer than your legs...unless they grow as you're falling, like the cloak of the one guy that lifted him above the crowd. That's possible, but does it work in the context of the story? I don't know.

Anyway, that was the one thing that make me go..."hum.."

Kuntrey_Pilgrum

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #122 on: August 23, 2006, 10:48:23 PM »
Quote


That stuff has gott chafe...and rust. Give me titanium with rounded edges (i.e. "comfort fit") any day. ;D  
;D Thats funny!!
 
On another note, where is EUOL? There is no Warbreaker!  On another note, this one in no way related, EJS's review on amazon of Mistborn has been helpful  to like, 100 people! Isn't that like, cheating? ???
No Ninja Monkey can stand up to my Penguin Commandos! ATTACK!!!!
   
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digitalbias

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #123 on: August 24, 2006, 01:23:15 AM »
Quote

 
On another note, where is EUOL?


If I had to guess, I'd say EUOL is in route to or at WorldCon.

Peter Ahlstrom

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #124 on: August 24, 2006, 01:01:47 PM »
Yes, everyone's at Worldcon. We watched the Disneyland fireworks from Moshe's hotel room balcony last night and had a good ol' time.
All Saiyuki fans should check out Dazzle! Emotionally wrenching action-adventure and quirky humor! (At least read chapter 6 and tell me if you're not hooked.) Volume 10 out now!

ja9sen

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #125 on: August 25, 2006, 12:08:42 AM »
I am loving warbreaker so far. This story line grabbed me from the start. I had a hard time getting into Elantris.  this story has gotten my attention and dragged me in I look forward to the new chapters.

EUOL

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #126 on: August 28, 2006, 04:58:05 PM »
New Warbreaker.  This one will actually probably come BEFORE the previous chapter, but I'm going to number it 22 right now to avoid confusion.

www.brandonsanderson.com/graphics/WarbreakerCh22-1.0.doc

I will probably still post one on Wednesday!
http://www.BrandonSanderson.com

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digitalbias

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #127 on: August 28, 2006, 06:53:48 PM »
I think it's a good idea to switch the order of these last two chapters. It builds the tension and makes the Vasher priest question more bearable.

EUOL

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #128 on: August 30, 2006, 03:10:42 PM »
This chapter went long, so I only have half for you this week.

http://www.brandonsanderson.com/graphics/WarbreakerCh23Partone-1.0.doc

Enjoy!
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Spriggan

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #129 on: August 30, 2006, 03:41:39 PM »
So, can you send me an e-mail about what you did to get negative numbers in the Blog Categories?  Also you do know you can assign more then one category to a blog post right?
Screw it, I'm buying crayons and paper. I can imagineer my own adventures! Wheeee!

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EUOL

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #130 on: August 30, 2006, 04:03:18 PM »
Yes, I've done it before, and I sent you an email a while ago on it.
http://www.BrandonSanderson.com

"Technically, I don't even have a brain."--Fellfrosch

Spink_Longfellow

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #131 on: September 06, 2006, 12:27:34 AM »
I, like most posters thouroughly enjoy your work. I found it through a friend's blog site. I find it orginal and refreshing. That said I suppose a few comments are in order.

I understand the oposing character types of the sisters but they are sisters, shouldn't they be somewhat alike? I also understand Vivenna being so stubborn, but I need to see her character come to realize she may have to get even more dirty than she is now to accomplish the things she sets out to. I would actually play with the idea of her being tempted to take more breath later on when she might possibly be learning to Awaken. At some point she'll have to accept that the two oposing religions came from a singular one. She could possibly find that religion and taking it as her own she might accept breath/color? Maybe Tonk Fah is a follower and through some history into her people's ancestors, the original outcasts, she could become a follower? I would enjoy finding more out about them and their powers that seem to be unknown by their holders and feared by their enemies.

I too enjoy Vasher/Nightblood and want more still. I think you might need to flesh out their relationship some more or maybe it's just part of the mystery yet. I like to imagine his purposes are his own and selfserving, that he may be a hindrance but will find his goals easier to achieve through helping Vivenna, though Tonk Fah would never trust him and does want to kill him. However, being a mercanary will acdept it at Vivenna's order or at least so it seems, he did say he can quit any time...

I can't wait to see where you're going with the Lord Ruler's character! It's very interesting to think he is merely a pawn. The relationship between the two religions can also be explored here. The Risen having been caused by the absence of the outcast?

What's the deal with the nobles hair color change? I think it needs a functional purpose. This might be explored or found out by Vivenna when the war begins and can use it to her advantage.

The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #132 on: September 06, 2006, 09:23:18 AM »
I've not read the chapters yet, but as for sisters being somewhat alike...

My younger brother is severely introverted, a deep seated loaner, and he is not even inclined to spend time with the family. He is absorbed with foreign cultures (primarily Korea and Japan) and has a fundamentally different philosophy than I when it comes to art and literature. About the only thing we do share is that we happen to belong to the same religion (though our attitudes toward that institution are widely variant) and that we are interested in art and literature -- of different sorts.

So... no, there can be only token similarities between siblings and it can be quite believable.

dreamking47

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #133 on: September 06, 2006, 06:17:33 PM »
It's funny, I read through the Warbreaker chapters over the long weekend and was wondering if you (Brandon/EUOL) would find my comments useful, and one of my comments was going to be that I thought the sisters were a little too similar!  Goes to show how different readers notice and focus on different things.

I'm not sure how valuable my comments will be, in that Warbreaker feels very much like a young adult novel and that's something that I don't typically go for these days: the genre post-Harry Potter has too many characteristics that I find unfortunate, although they're undeniably viable among many readers.  However, realizing this is a first draft, here are some specific thoughts I had on Siri and Vivenna while reading the chapters, which you can use or not as you think best.

Regarding differences and similarities between Siri and Vivenna, I think there's a bit too much "tell" and not enough "show" with their characters and characteristics.  Several different sources tell us repeatedly that Siri is impetuous and undisciplined while Vivenna is dutiful and thoughtful.  It is Siri however who goes obediently off to marry the God King (as opposed to doing something impetuous, like running away), and keeps her discipline by thinking of her duty to her country; it is Vivenna who, impetuously and in defiance of her father, rushes off to save Siri with no real plan.  Thus, what we're told about the characters and what their actions show us are consistently two different things.  This is a problem in itself, of narrative, and also it makes the sisters feel too similar.  Both are a similar mixture of impetuousness and duty; I can see both acting in nearly identical ways if their positions in the book were reversed (Vivenna going dutifully away to marry the God King, Siri setting off impetuously to save her from this fate, etc.).

Some of this I'm sure is intentional -- the "circumstances force two seemingly opposite characters to realize they have more in common than they thought" theme.  My comment though is that not enough is done to show them as opposite in the earlier chapters, and they come too quickly and with too little transition to their similarity.

(A side note on the sisters and names: "Vivenna" sounds like "viv," i.e., vivacious, while "Siri" sounds like "serious" -- their names are almost the exact opposite of their stated characteristics.)

One problematic aspect of the sisters' similarity, from a storytelling point of view, is that both, having been thrust into unfamiliar situations, have been very passive for the past 15-20 chapters.  An example that stands out for me is the scene where Vivenna gains Breath.  Vivenna is asked to make a moral choice to accept or reject the Breath, she chooses to reject it...and then she gains it anyway.  Perhaps this is meant as a statement on life, that sometimes burdens we didn't want are forced on us anyway, but it felt too much like a contrived plot device, a way of getting Breaths to Vivenna that the story will require her to have without requiring her to take action that would impact her moral and theological principles.  Indeed, part of the problem I think is that she doesn't react as we might expect her to, given that she's portrayed as much more religiously knowledgeable and devout than Siri (again, show vs. tell).  I'm thinking her reaction should have been that of an orthodox Hindu given a leather jacket as a birthday present, or a vegan who was force-fed a mouthful of veal: they'd want it out!off!away!, ASAP.  Vivenna's lack of action in this regard pretty much announces her eventual acceptance of the Breath as a practical tool, and makes her subsequent expressions of disgust over the various Hallandren practices somewhat tedious to read.

In fact, as a general statement most of the main characters have seemed to me too passive after the first few chapters.  Siri is swept along by court affairs, Vivenna is swept along by the mercenaries, Lightsong is swept along by his high priest, etc.  I think that this is a big part of why people keep asking for more Vasher: he is the only character who is actively forging his own path and appears to have a plan of action.

Of course, that's just my $.02, and I realize this is a first draft that I haven't yet read the ending of -- some of my criticisms may resolve themselves in the story you already intend to tell.  Indeed, I both have to thank you for making a work in progress like this available -- the process of creation fascinates me -- and say how impressed I am by the quality of the superstructure you're assembling in this draft.  It's quite a complex web you're weaving, with all the different characters and mysteries, and wanting to learn how it all turns out is a powerful incentive to keep on reading!

Best,

MattD
« Last Edit: September 06, 2006, 06:34:40 PM by dreamking47 »
"It had blood in it.  That makes it a good metaphor." -- Tonk Fah, in EUOL's Warbreaker

Peter Ahlstrom

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Re: Warbreaker Sample Chapters
« Reply #134 on: September 06, 2006, 06:51:22 PM »
Hmm... Warbreaker is certainly not meant as a YA novel. Have you read Brandon's other books that have been published so far? As far as I know, it's supposed to appeal to the same crowd.

I think Brandon will appreciate your comments though. I suspect that the "swept along" nature of things may be on purpose, considering what I know that hasn't been revealed, though I expect that to change by the end--it could be part of the thematic structure: to overcome controls and events forced on you by outside influences. Still, there's only so much of the sweeping along that one can take as a reader, and balancing it more might be better.
All Saiyuki fans should check out Dazzle! Emotionally wrenching action-adventure and quirky humor! (At least read chapter 6 and tell me if you're not hooked.) Volume 10 out now!