Terry Prattchet vs JK Rowling

[Onion of Death]

I'll offer him a billion dollars, as long as he realizes that I have replaced the meaning of "a billion dollars" with "absolutely nothing and some saltines".

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

did you say SALTINES?

[Onion of Death]

Yes sir, I did indeed invoke the name of the holy Saltines.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

/me bows, but does not submit to a gender change

[Peter Ahlstrom]

I think Rowling is just showing ignorance, and Pratchett is just being himself. Doesn't affect my good opinion of either one of them.

[Spriggan]

Yes Ookla but the real question of this thread is would you change your gender for a cracker?

[Entsuropi]

Spriggan, always asking the hard hitting questions that modern man has struggled with for positively minutes.

[Peter Ahlstrom]

No, but this guy at the beach said he would pay me $100 if I ate 6 saltines in a minute, and I wasn't able to do it. (I got 4 of them.) If only I hadn't finished drinking my water bottle a few minutes before, I could have washed them down pretty easily.

In independent testing since then, I've gotten up to 5. I'm sure there's some way to do it.

[Entsuropi]

Have a bigger mouth, maybe.

[Fellfrosch]

What are the rules? Do you have to chew and swallow each one before starting on the next?

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

no rules like that. The only thing is it's a saltine see. And 6 of them are going to dry your mouth out. We did it with two pieces of bread to companions on my mission. THey would be spitting out DRY breadcrumbs.

[Fellfrosch]

So 6 saltines in a flat 60 seconds, no water, and no other rules. I will engage in independent research.

[Peter Ahlstrom]

The first time I ate them two at a time, the second time one at a time. Next I will try biting off chunks and swallowing them with no chewing.

If I can master the skill, it could mean big money! You never know what kind of gimmicks born-again Christians will use to get you to stop and talk to them.

Two pieces of bread? I could do that easily.

<--- Champeen Bread-Eater

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

bread is worse than crackers, from what I understand. Go get yourself a couple slices of wonder and try it.
Then we'll see if you can.

[Peter Ahlstrom]

I do it all the time, though I use real bread and not wonder. Just smash it up into a little ball and chomp it down. I often smash two or three slices into one ball and eat them while driving.