Corrupt a wish foundation.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

it happens, and then you break up when she finds you are a complete dork and starts to hate you. Now the threads bring you only pain.

I wish I was out of debt

[Mad Dr Jeffe]

You are, but to do it you had to sell two of your 4 children to a Bolivian Circus sideshow.

I wish I had some folks to game with.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

so... I get to keep the other two, right?

you do have people to game with. They just have a very different schedule. In other words, nothing's different!

I wish I had a cheeseburger

[The Lost One]

You get a cheeseburger but you have to sell your other two children to get it and the cheeseburger is spiced with curry.

I wish that my youngest son would take better naps in the morning.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

curry?! noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

He naps great in the afternoon. But he doesn't sleep at all at night and instead spends 8 hours straight screaming at the top of his lungs.

I wish for more wishes.

[Skar]

Granted.  You become paralyzed by indecision.  The  possibilities of more wishes are so staggering that you can't even decide to come home at night.  You lose your job, your wife and children leave you, you start to smell, eventually your employer carries you out to the garbage bin out back where you lie, to the end of your days, imagining what you could do with all those wishes.

I wish I was an IT professional with a job as such.

[The Lost One]

Granted. Unfortunately, the supply of IT professionals has outpaced demand and so you have to work for $7 an hour, no benefits, and you are on-call 24/7.

I wish I knew what book to buy with my Borders gift card (after pre-ordering Mistborn).

[FirstMateJack]

You buy every edition of CosmoGIRL.

I wish that I had a computer that could run Battle for Middle Earth 2 in all it's glory.

[Mad Dr Jeffe]

You do, but you also find out its sentiant and it can take over every nuclear silo in the world. In the process of running middle earth i decided the only legit way to stop you from winning is to kill you. Now you and your home are a smoking crater.

I wish I'd saved more on my insurence by switching to geico.

[The Lost One]

You do save money on you insurance by switching to GIECO, but then you get into a car accident and the green lizard refuses to pay for any of you claims.

I wish I had a few thousand of dollars to blow on the stock market.

[FirstMateJack]

and that's exactly what they do.

I wish that I had a chunk of clear titanium.

[Faster Master St. Pastor]

You do, but then it blows up in your face and kills you (quantum physics; gets em everytime). And your dog. And your apple.

I wish that my homework was done, or at least that our other computer was working so that all the people (four out of six) who need it for homework could do it twice as fast (that would be four hours instead of eight).

[darkjetti81]

Your homework is magically completed, but your grades all come back with C's which without fail lowers your GPA beyond recovery.  

I wish I was married to Christina Ricci and we lived in classy condo in New York City.  

[Eagle Prince]

That is not listed under the possible effects of the wish spell.  So uh, you like get teleported to this nice condo in New York, but the Adams are over and Lurch rips your arms off so Thing has something to play with.  Huh??

I wish I was only joking...

[Harbinger]

You are. As in, that is all you can do. Then there really are wolves, and nobody believes you, and all the sheep are killed, so you don't have any cotton to sell.

I wish for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace.