Author Topic: Everything I need to know...  (Read 1781 times)

FirstMateJack

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Everything I need to know...
« on: April 26, 2006, 05:41:00 PM »
Since this post is movie related I thought I would put it here. I was looking up something from a movie I watched recently and the thought occured.. I want to hear what things everyone has learned from movies! We each watch enough that we ought to have learned something!

This is a great opportunity to show what you have learned from all of those really really bad to really really good, but nonetheless slightly ridiculous, movies you have watched in your life. If possible, try to give a reference.



-Even if a laser will have no effect on you, you should run away from it, just in case.
  "Prince of Space".

-Commies hate rock and roll.
-Girls, if you really want to impress a guy, stick your gum to his glasses.  
  "Six String Samurai"

-There are fates worse than death
  "The Star Wars Christmas special" "Manos, Hands of Fate" "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians"

-You can swim and hold your breath in space
  "Titan A.E."

-English is the language of choice for any respectable and intelligent species.
-This is the not-so-secret reason why every American should own a gun.
-Just because a spaceship is airtight, it may not be waterproof.
-Paper airplane technology comes only after rifling and shells.
  "Planet of the Apes" (With Chuck)

-Concentrated evil should probably not be kept in something easily breakable, such as glass.
  "Babes in Toyland"
Delicious! Like a tall cool glass of Nestle' Quik mixed in Orange Juice!

Kirjath

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Re: Everything I need to know...
« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2006, 06:06:41 PM »
-Always get out of the water when you hear theme music.
 "Jaws" "Deep Blue Sea" and basicly any horror movie

-Noone will ever be able to say "I have a bad feeling about this" ever again.
 (any movie after Star Wars)

-Lesbians make great sun screen.
 "Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter"
 (OK, so most of you probably won't understand that one unless  you have really strange friends with even stranger movies.)
And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover
To entertain these fair well-spoken days,
I am determined to prove a villain
And hate the idle pleasures of these days.

The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers

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Re: Everything I need to know...
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2006, 09:02:13 AM »
-No technological advance is needed to create mechs. The technology needed is contained within our stereo equipment.
"Robot Jox"

FirstMateJack

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Re: Everything I need to know...
« Reply #3 on: April 27, 2006, 06:48:24 PM »
We also learn that from Bill and Ted's Bogus journey! You just need a martian.



-Obi-Wan doesn't know what he is talking about.
(Proof:  Obi-Wan claims that the blast marks on the sand crawler are too precise to be made by sand people. 10 Sand people can peg a 20 foot engine screaming at 650 MPH from 350 yards.
25 Storm Troopers can't hit a 9 foot Wookie jogging at a slightly energetic mummies pace in a 15 foot corridor from 8 feet away.)

-No matter how great your technology or training is, as long as you are on the bad side, you can still get your butt kicked by a bunch of barely evolved teddy bears and fish things, who have yet to discover how to project something without actually throwing it, or using a rope.
  "Star Wars"


-Tribbles hate klingons.
-Engineers never tell the whole truth.
-Space travel is easier when you make up your own physics.
-Your chances of survival are 100% better if you have a first and last name.
  "Star Trek"


-It doesn't matter how spoiled you are, or how close you get to destroying two kingdoms, so long as you do it for love (oh, and your daddy is some sort of magical king).
  "The little Mermaid"


-All guns make strange clicking noises when you aim them at someone.
  "Any movie with a gun"
« Last Edit: April 27, 2006, 07:10:27 PM by FirstMateJack »
Delicious! Like a tall cool glass of Nestle' Quik mixed in Orange Juice!

Peter Ahlstrom

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Re: Everything I need to know...
« Reply #4 on: April 28, 2006, 12:39:36 AM »
-Lasers and transforming fighter jets won't beat the aliens. Female pop vocalists will.
"Macross: Do You Remember Love?"
All Saiyuki fans should check out Dazzle! Emotionally wrenching action-adventure and quirky humor! (At least read chapter 6 and tell me if you're not hooked.) Volume 10 out now!

Eagle Prince

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Re: Everything I need to know...
« Reply #5 on: April 28, 2006, 07:28:52 AM »
-bilingually is a myth
All your base are belong to us

-Despite the great Flood (or perhaps in direct evidence of it), God has a dry sense of humor
"Constantine"
"Time Bandits"
"Others I don't bother to mention"
« Last Edit: April 28, 2006, 07:31:45 AM by Eagle_Prince »
I am the Immortal One hidden from the dawn; I am the Emperor-King after day has gone.

42

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Re: Everything I need to know...
« Reply #6 on: April 28, 2006, 06:54:05 PM »
--Blue people are better than regular people.
"The Smurfs" and "X-men"
The Folly of youth is to think that intelligence is a subsitute for experience. The folly of age is to think that experience is a subsitute for intelligence.

Harbinger

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Re: Everything I need to know...
« Reply #7 on: April 28, 2006, 10:50:55 PM »
You don't actually need to speak the bad guys' language to pass as one of them, as long as you can fake the accent.

I don't have a reference, but you know you've seen it.
Fighter, your intelligence is found to be lacking when compared to the average intelligence of a group of your peers. -White Mage

Small boys throw stones at frogs in jest. But the frogs do not die in jest. The frogs die in earnest. -Pliny the Elder

darkjetti81

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Re: Everything I need to know...
« Reply #8 on: April 30, 2006, 02:31:23 AM »
"It's not personal, it is only business"  
-The Godfather

"The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.."
"If you choose the quick and easy path, the darkside... forever will it dominate your destiny.."
-StarWars

"All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.."
-The Shining

"Your friends and family will lie to you, they laugh at your jokes, tell you how great you look, pretend to listen to your stories...  but there is one thing that you can count on..   one thing that is SOLID...  Word On the Street...   That's solid."
-Suicide Kings

Peter Ahlstrom

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Re: Everything I need to know...
« Reply #9 on: April 30, 2006, 07:40:58 PM »
um, darkjetti81, this is supposed to be a sarcastic thread...
All Saiyuki fans should check out Dazzle! Emotionally wrenching action-adventure and quirky humor! (At least read chapter 6 and tell me if you're not hooked.) Volume 10 out now!

blcdrayco

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Re: Everything I need to know...
« Reply #10 on: May 01, 2006, 12:34:58 AM »
Ah.  So the people whining about thinslike holding breath in space are being....?
It does not matter if you are the emperor of man- If your wife is angry, you sleep on the couch.

FirstMateJack

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Re: Everything I need to know...
« Reply #11 on: May 01, 2006, 01:43:51 PM »
Not real, yes.  ;)

-The amount of damage a chick can do is proportional to the shininess of her hair, the tightness of her costume, and the size of her guns (take that how you want it).
-If a character is wearing glasses or a lab coat, they are really really ridiculously smart.
-If you're arms and waist look like spaghetti noodles, your odds of effectivley weilding a weapon as big as your body increases dramatically.
  "Anime's...Do you really need more of a reference?"
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blcdrayco

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Re: Everything I need to know...
« Reply #12 on: May 01, 2006, 06:48:32 PM »
All women are invulnerable, except on breasts and groin.
-any fantasy movie with women in armour.
It does not matter if you are the emperor of man- If your wife is angry, you sleep on the couch.