I found this posted in my livejournal from a year and a half ago. Â I think it's hilarious, probably because I wrote it. Â Strangely enough after I did this my friends stopped sending me these chain letters. Â How nice of them.
-----
So yet another one of my friends sent me one of those lovely 'chain letters' email spam that is so prominent. I changed it a bit and hit reply all. I'm really very tickled with the results, so I emailed it to all *my* friends, who are totally free to delete it or do whatever they want with it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Name deleted), I'm sorry, and I hope I don't offend you, (this isn't aimed at you, but at the freaks who WRITE these stupid things) but I just couldn't take this anymore. I took your little email and ... Improved it a bit.
I mean, come on. If people are going to make up TOTAL LIES and spam them to all of America, they could at least have them be entertaining lies. All items in parentheses have been added by me, Megan
- READ ALL OF IT
CASE 1: Kelly Seedy had one wish, for her boyfriend of three years, David Marsden, to propose to her. Then one day when they were out to lunch, David proposed! She accepted. But she then had to leave because she had a meeting in 20 min. When she got back to her office she noticed on her computer she had e-mail. She checked it, the usual stuff from friends, but then she saw one that she had never seen before. It was this very letter. She simply deleted it, without reading it. BIG MISTAKE!!
(If she just deleted it, how do we know it was THIS EXACT EMAIL. And if it were this exact email, how could she receive an email that tells her own story? Time-traveling email? Â Wouldn't that really creep you out?
Later that evening she received a call from the local police. It was regarding David. He had been in an accident with an 18-wheeler, he did not survive. (Kelly was institutionalized after spending hours at the side of her dead fiance, screaming, "I never should have deleted that chain letter!!!" as even doctors and shrinks know that these things are total crap.)
CASE 2: Take Katie Robbenson. (English alert: Fragment anyone? Ok, I've taken Katie, now what do I do with her? We're dealing with illiterate liars, apparently.) She received this letter and being the believer that she was sent it off to a few of her friends, but did not have enough to send to the full 10 that you must. Three days later she went to a Masquerade ball. Later that night when she left to get to her car to go home, she was killed on the spot by a hit and run drunk driver.
(Wait, wait wait. You're telling me the Email Gods who control these chain letters punished her not for being an unbeliever but for being a True Believer who didn't have ENOUGH FRIENDS? Pretty crappy gods.)
CASE 3:
Richard S. Willis sent this letter out within 45 minutes of reading it. Not even 4 hours later walking along the street to his new job interview, with a really big company, when he ran into Cynthia Bell, his secret love of 5 years. Cynthia came up to him and told him of her passionate crush on him that she had for 2 years.
(Because normal people ALWAYS have heartwrenching discussions about their secret crushes in the middle of the street. Â Just like in the movies!!!) Three days later he proposed to her and they were married. Â They are still married to this day and have three children. (As soon as these 3 children were taught to write, their idiot parents sent them to work copying chain letters that they got in the mail. In crayon. Child services is looking into matters as we speak.)
You must send this on within 3 hours, after reading the letter, to 10 different people. If you do this you will receive unbelievably good luck in love. The person you are most attracted to will soon return your feelings. If you do not, bad luck will rear it's ugly head. (Because science has shown that spamming your friends with lies makes you more attractive to the opposite sex.)
THIS IS NOT A JOKE! The more people you send this to, the better luck you will have. (The better luck you will have at getting your email address BLOCKED by people who USED to be your friends, that is. They forgot to include that last part, silly silly them.)
