Chinese Hot Mustard

[House of Mustard]

So, lately I've takne a liking to hot mustard with my chinese food.  Today, I squirted the little mustard packet on my lunch (chow mein) and prepared for my Far East Feast.  However, I nearly died.  I don't know whether the mustard was bad, or whether it reacted chemically with something in the Chow Mein, but it nearly killed me.  This is no exaggeration, hand on the bible truth: I was having convulsions and clawing at my nose.  It felt like I'd been hit with pepperspray.  My eyes were watering and my nose was running like a faucet, and I had trouble breathing.  Fortunately, I was in the breakroom alone, so no one saw my little mustard-induced seizure.

And, of course, I'm stupid: I took a second bite just to make sure the first one wasn't a fluke.  It wasn't.  It happened all over again.

[Fellfrosch]

Pat yourselves on the back, guys. It looks like our little plan worked.

[Tage]

You know that last line at the end there made the whole thing worth reading.

[Mistress of Darkness]

/me laughs

Are you sure it was the same Hot Mustard that you had been eating before?

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

Ninja's often use Chinese Hot Mustard to conduct their missions. I imagine this was actually Japanese Chinese food.

But how can a person with the moniker "House of Mustard" be bothered by mustard?

[House of Mustard]

Yes, it was the same, but don't misunderstand me:  this was not a particularly spicy mustard -  it was a chemical attack.  I'm fine with spicy stuff.

[Mistress of Darkness]

I'm sorry, but the mental images are just so funny.

[JP Dogberry]

Which brings me to something I've always meant to ask: With a name like Mustard, what is your preference as to Mustards? I prefer Dijon, American, or Seeded, depending on the foodstuff. That Chinese stuff sounds nasty though.

I wouldn't be laughing right now, except you took a second bite. *That* is funny.

[Lieutenant Kije]

And, of course, I'm stupid: I took a second bite just to make sure the first one wasn't a fluke.  It wasn't.  It happened all over again.

That deserves to be repeated.  Can I join your fan club, HoM?

[House of Mustard]

The more the merrier.

And I prefer sweet mustards usually.  Dijon is okay.  I don't like yellow.

[Spriggan]

Just FYI, asian spicy mustard is made with horseradish.  So it's like mixing normal mustard and wasabi together.  I can't stand the stuff, though I do love normal spicy mustard.

[JP Dogberry]

I actually have some Wasabi in my cupboard. Havn't tried it yet, mainly because I can't think of anything to put it on.

[Mistress of Darkness]

I suggest sushi.

[Mad Dr Jeffe]

hamburgers!

[fuzzyoctopus]

I suggest the trash can, where such evil poison belongs.