Going Back to School

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

Should I?

Here's why I'm thinking.
I eventually want a doctrate anyway. So I can be Dr. St. Ehlers. That woudl just rule. But I want a doctrate in Comp Lit. There are no programs in the immediate area for this, and I'm not prepared to move at this point.

However, My French has never been good, my Greek is worse, and my Spanish (which I could never speak, only read) is exceedingly rusty. So, before I could go anywhere anyway, I'd need to brush up.

My employer offers tuition reimbursement. I'm not at all sure that they could be convinced to reimburse me on a class about Goethe or Cervantes, but I'm pretty positive that taking language classes would be doable. Since, after all, we have distributors and customers all over Europe, South America, and Asia. It appears I can find a couple language classes in the evenings at local schools, so that would work out.

But do I really want to interfere with my writing like that?

Need input.

[fuzzyoctopus]

Well, if they do tuition reimbersement, and you want to do it, I'd say go for it, 'cause at least you won't have lost anything.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

well, the thing is, altering my schedule. I guess you guys can't really help with that, but it's what I'm really wrestling with. How will this affect my productivity.

[House of Mustard]

You're on a forum for time-wasting, and you're worried about productivity?

[stacer]

Well, you're going to have to give up something, at least partially. That's what I've been dealing with since I've been in grad school. I haven't written anything all year, haven't done any family history research, etc. etc. All my time is split between school, work, church, and social, leaving no time for anything else. Your split will be different, what with you needing family time as well, but it's the same idea.

I guess it just depends on which is more important to you--writing or a higher degree. Or maybe it's not the right time for a class, and you'll decide you want to do one after you've finished your first draft.

Or maybe you'll decide you just need less sleep.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

no, see, I want someone to tell me that my decisions will never have adverse consequences.  

No, seriously, what I'm doing is creating a place for me to bounce my ideas off of so I can remember all the consequences and make a good decision. So that's helpful.

Also, HoM, Time Wasting IS productive!

[Mistress of Darkness]

I've found that having a structured activity like that helps my overall productivity level. It's so easy to get home and watch TV & crochet rather than sitting down and writing to my family, packing, filing, cleaning, or something else actually useful (not that crocheting isn't useful, but there's a time and a place). Sometimes having that class 1 night a week (or however it works out) and homework, gets me into the right habits for the other 4 days of the week.

[42]

Setting time asside is very important. Ask yourself, just where does studying and education list on your list of priorities?

I have, unfortunatley, decided that not al education is worth it. Before going back to school, I would research just what you will be getting out of returning to school. If you want a higher income, that's not necessarily a garentee with more education. My one brother took a pay cut when he finished his MBA after having been an Aeronautical Engineer. Some fields (mostly technical or medical) just pay a lot for little education.

I also highly recommend starting with online or independent study course. The advantage of doing this is that you can see what you are getting into before you move anywhere or make a serious commintment. Course, I doubt you will be able to get a complete masters in Comp Lit online, but it will let you see what the program will expect. And it can get rid of some general credits, like those stupid "welcome to the program, lets talk about me" courses. The disadvantage of online courses is that you don't always get to hob-nob with the instructotrs and the amount of work may not reflect how much work you will be doing once you invest full-time.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

Thanks 42, that's some of the best direction I've gotten on this.

As for online courses, that's easy toaddress. I really need to do those in person because I want to be taking language courses, and I *need* the exposure and practice. When I actually start looking at getting the higher degree, that is very much an option to look at.

as for what I'll get... well...

See, I'm doing help desk. While color measuring it pretty cool, I'm looking at the company and hte industry, and it's totally distinct from the rest of my life. I don't want to buy or sell or manufacture this stuff. I certainly don't want to tell people how to use it for the rest of my life. It holds my interest in the short term, and I feel like I'm actually doing something with it, but it's not something I want to think about day in and day out for the next 40 years or whatever.

So, what should I plan on? Well, what I really want to do is write, obviously. We all know that. But making enough on that to live on is some time off, even if I were lucky enough to sell my first manuscript this fall. Probably at least 5 years. Probably more.

So can I do what I'm doing for half a decade or a whole decade or more? Can I make that gamble? I'm not sure.

Teaching, on the other hand, would be a more interesting way to spend it. But to teach college I need an advanced degree (no, not interested in public school, with very few potential exceptions, and that would require a certificate anyway). It also seems much more compatible with my larger goal.

So, do I put of working on my writing? Or do I work on the "mean time" job? I'm not sure. That's what I'm trying to decide in regards to deciding what I'll get out of it. I don't worry so much what the pay is, as long as it's enough to keep my family alive and healthy in the mean time.

One thing's for sure though, I need to decide quickly what I want to do in the immediate future. I'm 30, and need to get my life in order, for my own health. I need to be working on what I'm doing with my life.

If holding out till I'm a professional writer is the thing, than I need to bust my hump to be a professional writer. But I have doubts. What if I never become a professional writer? At which point will I be regretting that I didn't go get my advanced degree to do soemthign I really wanted to do? Shouldn't I get that out of the way first before going on?

*sigh*
So this is what's going through my head, and why I need to decide in the next few days, because of the app deadline for GMU to start on these language classes if that's what I want to do.

[EUOL]

If holding out till I'm a professional writer is the thing, than I need to bust my hump to be a professional writer. But I have doubts. What if I never become a professional writer? At which point will I be regretting that I didn't go get my advanced degree to do something I really wanted to do? Shouldn't I get that out of the way first before going on?

Wow.  Sounds like any number of conversations I had with myself during the years of 1997-2003.  The thing is, I don't know if my experience can be of any worth to you.  The existence of a family changes things quite a bit.

Here, however, is one of the questions I asked myself.  How badly do I want to be a writer?  Do I want it badly enough that I would rather take the chance and fail than give up?  

I imagined it this way.  What if I decided to become an author and never made it?  Let's say that at age forty I was still working in a low income job, unpublished, still working furiously on my writing.  Would I have considered those ten years a failure, or would I rather have spent them writing--doing what I loved--regardless of my publication status?

I decided that I loved writing enough that publication (however desirable) would not be the determiner of whether I wrote or not.  I decided that I'd rather die of old age with fifty unpublished manuscripts than spend my life working at any job that wasn't writing.  If that meant spending my life making all other professions secondary, then so be it.  

So, SE, are you that committed to writing?  Are you willing to put your family through a decade of having a father and husband who is distracted and consumed by his writing?  If so, then perhaps you should stay at your current job, explain to your family that you HAVE to have a couple of hours to write EVERY DAY, and go for it.  Another option would be to go get a PhD, but not to get a better job--but because you know it will give you more time to write.  This would require living on a grad student's wages (not great--I could probably make around 20k a year if I tried) until you got your Ph.D.

If you can't see yourself and your family making these sacrifices, do what most sensible people would do--consider writing a hobby that might very well pay off some day, but will probably never become a full-time profession.  (Even now that I'm published, I probably won't be able to completely support myself on my writing for another three to five years--and that's if I'm lucky.)  Pursue another career, write when you can, and don't let yourself get stressed if you don't 'make it' for another couple of decades.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

hrm... see... if I didn't have the family, I definitely would be that commited.
The weird thing is, it took having the family to make me feel that comitted.
Also, ntoe, this is not about regretting the family thing. If forced to choose at any point in my life between writing and family, I would have chosen family. It's troubling, however, that I have to make such a choice.

so perhaps this is something I need to get my wife to think about too. (duh). We've talked about where I want to go, but thus far she hasnt' realized what I'm trying to do, I think.

I just don't know what to think.

[Entsuropi]

I just don't know what to think.

I prefer not to.

I really couldn't advise you much, since i'm stupid and all, but you could always try the halfway route... take a lower hours, lower wage job to free up more writing time. Lower wage will hurt, but if your intent on becoming a professional writer, then you are making a gamble on long term success.

[EUOL]

so perhaps this is something I need to get my wife to think about too. (duh). We've talked about where I want to go, but thus far she hasn’t' realized what I'm trying to do, I think.

I think this is an excellent idea.  If you were to try--really try--to become a writer, it would necessitate your taking a lot of time which might otherwise be spent with your family.

Now, I think that in most people's lives there are other things (entertainment-type things) that could be sacrificed first, but the result is going to be your family seeing you spending a lot of time with your computer.  Even if you are sacrificing time that you normally wouldn't spend with them anyway, they still might get jealous.

but you could always try the halfway route... take a lower hours, lower wage job to free up more writing time. Lower wage will hurt, but if your intent on becoming a professional writer, then you are making a gamble on long term success.

I think this was kind of what I was suggesting.  SE probably doesn't have the option to quit his job completely.  I wonder a few things.  First off, how much does your job pay?  Second, does your wife work?  There might be some 'half-way' options (as Entropy put it) that actually get you just as much writing time as other options.

[42]

Speaking of sacrifices, you may want to take count of all the sacrifices that you could be making in returning to school.

There are a lot of stuff in this world that seem really desirable. To keep perspective, remember that 90% of the world won't think any more of you if you have a PhD or if you didn't pass 3rd grade. Also, going through grad school can be harmful to your family if your not careful. Mostly, this happens to people who are workaholics that speed through grad programs giving only minimal attention to their family and then spend the the next several years abosorbed in their own project rather than taking care of the more important things in life. Sorry, but honestly academia as a whole has a huge preoccupation with minutia.

And also, many people caught in the academia rat race, don't care about you or your family or your well-being. Particularly if it is a competitive/cut-throat program.

I guess it comes down to that if you are not careful this can be a purely selfish decision rather than a decision to better your life and the lives of those around you. So this comes back to what are your reasons for returning to school and what do you hope to get out of it. Admittably, most grad students I know are in grad school because they aren't sure what they want to do with their lives just quite yet.

I think going to grad school part time is a great idea. Course, taking a year to prep for grad school could be really helpful. Maybe get some writings published and really search for the best grad program for you.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

well, i'm hardly a workaholic. And you don't hear much about Comparatists sabotaging each other. So I think I'm safe there.

My reason for going to school would be to get into a job that holds more interest for me than what I'm doing. This in turn is good for my family because I'd be more happy about what I'm doing.

My wife says she doesn't mind being poor, so long as we're out of debt. What I've yet to force a response on is the issue of me spending time not with the family. I think she can consciously admit that she is willing to see me do it, but I think also, from experience, that it will frustrate her to no end. So I've got to get her to realize what this means and to accept it.
She told me that she wants to help me live out this dream, but I think what she means is she'd think it's great if I AM a professional writer, not if I'm in the process of BECOMING one.