Someone emailed these to me. They amuse me greatly.
I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
Do I look like a people person?
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
Oh I get it ... like humor ... but different.
