Best Quote lately

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

TRex: "New Program Engaged:
10 Ignore what Utahraptor says
20 Utahraptor is lame!
30 Goto 10"
Utahraptor: "Error in line 20! Utahraptor is clearly awesome!"
TRex: "Too late! Line 10 was already interpreted!"

[GorgonlaVacaTremendo]

That would implode the universe, and as an enviromentalist I'm against that.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

"Violent retribution isn't like mowing the lawn. It's more like doing the dishes. ... with the lawnmower."
"OH yeah, that reminds me... Don't do that anymore."
"You don't own me."

[MsFish]

So there was this stewardess yesterday on my flight home that couldn't speak french to save her life, but apparently she was the best they had to make announcements and such.  Then she said this, and I realized she couldn't speak english either:

"Please keep your cell phones turned off, to avoid their con-fis-ti-ca-tion."

Confistication is my new favorite word.  

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

/me confisticates something.

I don't care what, I just have to get in on this new craze.

[fuzzyoctopus]

Did you have any clue as to what her first language was?

[MsFish]

Her first language was most definitely english.  I felt bad for her with the french thing, honestly.  I'd hate to have to make public announcements in french.  I don't speak it that well either.  

[Mad Dr Jeffe]

My wife Astrid to her dog,...

"Maggie, I have opposable thumbs" {makes thumb moving gesture"} "Ha, Ha...." "look opposable thumbs!"

[Maxwell]

I said that to my cat once

[House of Mustard]

On another message board, someone posted this:

"...The one from Holland---sorry, let me be politically correct---the Netherlands?"

Politically correct?  Wha?

[Maxwell]

your bowels remain as prophetic as ever.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

"if you could write love letters to words i would write one to 'awesome' and 'awkward' and 'wacky' and 'abstruse' and 'sated' and more and i wouldn't let any of them know about the others."

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

"I appreciate your insane spirtual virtues, Mikey."

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

You should make a point of trying every experience once -- except incest and folk-dancing.
-- A. Bax, "Farewell My Youth"

[Maxwell]

I can't wait until I'm 75 and I can grump and complain, and I can drive a car the same speed wheather I'm on the freeway or the driveway, and I get to wear plaud golf shorts hiked up to my neck, and I get to dye my hair ever-so-light purple, and I remenece about the good old days when I was grumpy and rode a bicycle the same speed wherther I was on the driveway or the freeway...etc..

It's goona be awesome.

"I can't eat this, it's too spicy. Once I ate one of those and my armpit exploded and waiters were diving under the table. Children screamed as armpit juice rained from the heavens and...where are you going? You gonna eat that salad?"