I wanted to take this point to repost my *Favorite* TheOnion article since 9/11. (the "Suicide Terrorists Surprised to Find Selves in Hell" was pure perfection.)
But I can't find it. I was about how since Massachusetts eliminated heterosexual marriages, and mandated everyone to marry someone of the same gender.
Marshall added: "Since the allowance of gay marriage undermines heterosexual unions, we decided to work a few steps ahead and strike down opposite-sex unions altogether."
Hundreds of confused but vocal protesters lined the street outside the statehouse Monday night, waving both American and rainbow flags. Their chants, which broke out in pockets up and down the street, included, "Hey hey, ho ho, homophobia's got to go, but frankly, this is fucked up" and "Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, but not Adam and Some Random Guy." Others held signs that read, "On Second Thought, Boston Christians Are Willing To Consider A Compromise.