Timewaster's Guide Archive

I see this, yes... guess I'm still used to a past forum, where links like the ones I used required quotations around them as part of the code. Wouldn't work the right way without them. Don't need them here, though.

Actually, in the first generation, the leader was the Red Ranger. He was not a Native American, although the actor was from Roswell, New Mexico, so he may have been an alien. Currently works as a paramedic in DC.

Incidentally, the girl who played the yellow Ranger, Thuy Trang, is dead. Car accident back in '01.

I'd have to agree with much of what LTU is saying, although I have to dissent on the issue of cliche.

Yes, much of this is an oft-used formula, but while I was reading it, I didn't even notice. My second read-through was the first sign I saw of it, and that may be because the second read is where I put on my critiquing glasses. However, I feel you made the cliche work for you, rather than against. A small village, not many visitors, young girl... I knew something would be brewing, something was going to come kick in the door and shatter the idyllic little hamlet. That inevitability worked with the pacing - which I thought was handled very well -  and although it didn't quite shock me when it happened, up until the moment it did it had me wondering when. In a good way. Sometimes the scene everyone expects is the one you want to use. Preferably, though, you'll hit us with something completely unexpected in the next few chapters.

The catfish thing was hilarious, and I enjoyed the voice and prose (again, must voice agreement with LTU on the switches in personality. Was a bit odd in some spots.)

One issue I did have is with a few of the descriptions. Several of them felt out of place - the one referring to the cobblestones stands out to me most. Reading it makes me feel as if Rosalin just stopped walking and stared at the cobbles, then continued on after analyzing them for a few moments. I think it would feel significantly stronger if the description was woven more tightly with the narrative - perhaps Rosalin almost slipping on the stones to show that they're wet and slightly hazardous, or nearly being splashed by the mud. That said, this line stood out beautifully:

"The stones were solitary islands in the muck, threatened to wash away."

The imagery there felt quite strong, doing more to help me visualize the scene than the pure lines of description that came before it.

Other than that, the only other issues I can think of are purely technical, and some likely the result of my own little borderline obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Commas where periods or em dashes felt more appropriate, some jarring repetitiveness in word choice that threatened to snap me out of the story just as I was immersing myself.

I am thoroughly confused. Good work. ^_^

I saw it in 3D and loved it. There was really no good part, during the last two thirds, to get up and use the restroom.

I should mention that I went into the movie knowing nothing about it. Everything I'd heard beforehand (which consisted of 'James Cameron is making a movie called Avatar' and 'it's expensive') for some reason led me to believe it was a live-action adaptation of Avatar: The Last Airbender. The reason I saw it was because my girlfriend and I went to the theater, not knowing at all what they were showing. Only two movies had showtimes starting within the next half hour - Avatar and Sherlock Holmes. We flipped a coin.

The 3D was the best I've ever seen... having seen a total of two movies now in 3D. 

Thats funny, except I am not the only one supporting them, I am the first line of defense on the Macs only. I dont install them, just support them when necessary. we have a guy who spent 5 years at Apple installing and supporting them as well. You really think I would be support 7000+ machines on my own? Thats ridiculous. I spent 3 years in the 90s at Microsoft supporting Apple/Windows interoperability.  They didnt mix then, and they dont mix now. and apple doesnt make servers, so Unix and Windows servers are what we have to work with. Macs dont like them. Ever. and that is on purpose.

Um... mtlhddoc2? Apple makes servers. OS X is a Unix-based system. You can run Windows on a Mac.

...how did you get your job?

What is your definition of a real computer, mtlhddoc2?

I look at my 24" 1920x1200 screen with 42% free space on the hard drive, lots of RAM, more than fast enough processor, and wonder what I've been using this past year if not a real computer.

Got me wondering the same thing now. Apparently, I haven't used a "real computer" since 1999...

mtlhddoc2: The MacBook, only $999. There is also the Mac Mini for $599, but I wasn't sure if that counted.

Quote

. . . and Christopher Paolini never learned how to write.

Wait, that happened in this world.

I meant physically. It's a tragic story when one loses hands, eyes and tongue at an early age due to a tragic ostrich-riding incident.

On another note, the ostrich is now an airline pilot.