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Messages - Argas

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Reading Excuses / Re: Progress and Submission Reports
« on: March 30, 2010, 01:17:41 AM »
Been busy the last few weeks between school work and life. Once April is done with, I'll probably get a good chance to go through the submissions.

Reading Excuses / Re: March 1 -Argas - Heaven's Call Chapter 1-2
« on: March 03, 2010, 09:06:57 AM »
Thanks for all the feedback, it's been really helpful for improving it.

Dialogue will be a problem for me for a long time. I'll have to do more reading.

Reading Excuses / March 1 -Argas - Heaven's Call Chapter 1-2
« on: March 01, 2010, 09:26:13 AM »
The previous chapter I submitted is to be replaced by this. Events have been juggled and shifted around and I intend to stick with these two chapters because I like what I've written this time.

Reading Excuses / Re: Email List + Submission Dates
« on: March 01, 2010, 12:31:26 AM »
I might be able to submit something this Monday as well.

Video Games / Re: Mass Effect 2
« on: February 22, 2010, 08:40:39 AM »
Well, I decided to play ME2 for a bit instead of writing this week but here are my thoughts.

Gameplay-wise, massive improvement. I did not miss the clunky inventory interface as well as the piles of guns you sold every time you went to the shop. I did miss the upgrade system with guns but it's mostly replaced with ammo powers and a simpler upgrade system. The gunplay feels much better and thermal clips force you to switch between guns when/if they run low.

Story-wise, it's quite an improvement. Plot-wise however, it feels more clunky but that's due to the mission structure which really annoys me. It streamlines things and puts it all together, but at the cost of being able to do whatever the hell you wanted. Furthermore, plot progression really hampers things. You get an optional character to recruit near the end of the game but due to the way the progression is set up, you can only get one mission done with him without negative plot consequences.

Love the conversations as well as the Paragon/Renegade interrupt that should have been in the first game.

Altogether, a great improvement but it has its disappointing moments from streamlining.

Reading Excuses / Re: February 15 -Argas - Heaven's Call Chapter 1
« on: February 16, 2010, 08:31:52 AM »
Thanks for all the feedback. This is the sort of thing I need to hear so that I know what I should try to improve or change.

Reading Excuses / February 15 -Argas - Heaven's Call Chapter 1
« on: February 15, 2010, 08:40:08 AM »
Not much to say that hasn't been said in the e-mail so I'll just summarize them here.

I've been having trouble writing a start to the novel. Rather than editing it before I've even written a first draft, I've decided to write 2-3 chapters as if they were the first chapter. This is just the first. I've been told that my writing tends to be on the short side so if you have any tips on writing longer sentences or getting more out of short stuff, please tell me.

Reading Excuses / Re: Email List + Submission Dates
« on: February 12, 2010, 10:24:27 AM »
I think I'll submit something for Monday as well.

Definitely an improvement from the prologue. Loved it.

What really got me interested was the impact of it. There's no overload of information on the setting or character or anything. It hooks me in and keeps going until the end. It's got enough momentum that briefly switching to another point of view doesn't hurt it. Instead, you keep the interest up by introducing more characters in a quick and simple manner. You keep each viewpoint interesting and they never get bogged down by anything. Obviously, there will be a time for exposition but it's nice to see a start that isn't bogged down by it. By the end you've introduced a number of characters, with some focus on Miaria and Jannas. You've exposed some of their character through their actions, showing rather than telling. A very enjoyable read.

As cliche as it was, I found it to be an enjoyable if predictable read. While I agree that the prologue feels unnecessary, it might be helpful in the writing process. Plus, it's a small piece that can be dropped if he ultimately decides to. I'm not too fond of cliches myself but it's a rather short piece so I don't have any problems with the abundance of them so far. I agree that having the dead wife being presented is a nice change.

Like LTU said, it's well-written. It flows well, reads well, and well, that's good I'd say. I do wish to see more.

Can't say much that the others haven't said already. I really liked how you introduced things in Rosalin's life just to tear it down. The 'normal life' bits don't drag on for chapters, so that's definitely good.

I think the change in perspective is fine. While it is a bit confusing, it shouldn't be a problem if an explanation for it comes quickly in the next chapter. Maybe have Rosalin in the giant's body see her own body? That should clarify things for the reader a bit if they're confused without having to explain much about how or why it happened.

Reading Excuses / Re: Email List + Submission Dates
« on: January 27, 2010, 09:26:07 AM »
Been busy with real life so I haven't had a chance to give any of them a detailed reading. I'll try and start reading a few Wednesday.

Writing Group / Re: How do you come up with Names for Characters?
« on: January 25, 2010, 08:35:33 AM »
If I want some symbolism in the name, I'll take the appropriate word(s), mash them together, play with them until I have something that sounds neat but doesn't symbolize anything, stash it away, and then go to

For the most part, I make names by picking words or sounds that I like, mixing them together, and then going through them until I get ones that I feel are good.

Reading Excuses / Re: Your Background
« on: January 12, 2010, 05:33:41 PM »
I'm at UBC Van.

Reading Excuses / Re: Your Background
« on: January 12, 2010, 07:41:59 AM »
I'm a full time student at UBC in Canada, majoring in history at the moment.

I started writing in 13 and started doing narrative fiction around the age of 15. I've gotten trapped in worldbuilding quite a few times. Though I've written various things past ten pages, I've never managed to stay interested or motivated enough to take them further. The podcast Writing Excuses has been very useful to me.

Currently I'm writing a fantasy story about a judge of the gods who has returned to the place he was raised, only to uncover a conspiracy that is outside his jurisdiction.

I look forward to reading everyone's works.

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