Timewaster's Guide Archive

And this is why I got married:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090828/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_bad_first_date;_ylt=AmwrdTQMQmHCjuY6EjeyltvtiBIF;_ylu=X3oDMTJyaXRqNzViBGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMDkwODI4L3VzX29kZF9iYWRfZmlyc3RfZGF0ZQRwb3MDMTYEc2VjA3luX2FydGljbGVfc3VtbWFyeV9saXN0BHNsawNwb2xpY2VkZXRyb2k-

So I'm in the process of outlining a book that I will shortly begin writing, and it occurred to me that the book is going to be *very* dark.  The main character's life was destroyed, and he wants revenge, and he becomes what would be considered the villain in most fantasy worlds I've read so far, at least for a time.  Now, I'm planning on having some redemptionfor the MC by the end of the story, but I'm afraid that I'll lose my reader long before that because this story will take place in a fantasy setting, and the story is going to break a lot of fantasy norms.  I know that I, personally, like fantasy books where the main character has at least a few redeaming qualities and is a good guy at heart, to some extent at least.

So here's the question:  How dark is too dark?  And the followup question: How do you walk the fine line of balancing too dark vs. dark but interesting enough to keep turning the page?

If I could get a wide range of opinions on this, I would really appreciate it.  I know we have a diverse group of writers on the forum, some who prefer YA fantasy that follows the general rules of fantasy (heroic journey, etc.) and some who prefer the grittier science fiction and fantasy books that have an edge to them.  I want to hear from both sides so I can hopefully find the right balance.

Furthermore, if you know of some authors who do this well, balance dark vs. readable, please give me some recommendations.

Thanks in advance.

Alright, so I know that there are some military and ex-military folks out there, and I had a question or two about joining up.  Firs, I would be joining up as a JAG officer, meaning I would be a military attorney.  I would enter as a 2nd lieutenant, and very soon I would be promoted to captain.  Pay is good, perks are great, and I get to train with an assault rifle for at least a few days, so I'm stoked about that too.

Now here are my questions:

1)  Is this a good idea.

2)  What will my life be like?

3)  What will my office hours be like (when not deployed)?  Eight hour work days?  Owned and worked like a dog?  Anybody know?

4)  What will my life be like if I get deployed?

5)  How often do they let me shoot a gun?  Throw grenades?  What are the odds of them letting me try out a rocket launcher?  C-4?  Anything that goes "boom"?

Anyway, I've read all the propaganda and whatnot, I was wondering what the everyday would actually be like.  If you know, please speak up.  If you know someone who knows, please ask for me.

Thanks!

Be harsh.  Take no prisoners.  Burn then pillage.  You get the idea.

So I've never reviewed for this site before, nor have I been reviewed, so here's hoping I'm not overly harsh or soft in my critique.  That being said, here are my thoughts on the short story:

The good:

1) The idea of a Golem tearing it up downtown is cool.  Kudos for a good idea for a story.

2) The action was clear and concise.  I knew exactly what happened, although a description of a police car getting crunched would be fun

The bad:

1) The introduction is confusing, and not in a good way.  You begin by describing a Golem in modern day, so yes, from the Golem's point of view, he would not understand much of what is going on or what he is seeing.  Because of that, the Golem could not accurately describe much of what she sees.  However, some things will be familiar (smells, people, common things that have not changed over the millenia, i.e. chairs, stone/pavement floors, light shining off metal etc.).  In the beginning your descriptions are vague, and it felt like you were trying hide the fact that the Golem was in modern day by purposefully being vague.  I would rather see you have the Golem describe the familiar as best she could before approaching the things she can't explain, or at least give a good mixture of the two.  Otherwise, it is hard to picture what is going on, which should not be the case.

2) The orientation in time was confusing.  After two reads, I finally figured out that the middle portion is a flashback that occurs before the opening scene.  I'm okay with flashbacks, but there needs to be some type of clue in the opening scene that previous action has occurred.  From the initial paragraph, I thought that for some bizarre reason this Golem had mysteriously awakened next to a bus stop.  There needs to be some cue letting us know that the Golem just arrived on the scene, and some idea of where he was or what he was doing before hand.

3) I needed some more background to explain the way the Golem is acting.  For example, where does she get her moral compass?  Why is killing humans bad if the humans are trying to harm her?  Why is it important that he obey the "rule" not to harm humans, but okay to break the rule of not breaking and entering?  Why can't the Golem recognize fear, or the fact the people might be afraid of it (surely not everyone back in Babylonian times saw a Golem everyday at lunch...)?  What is the Golem made of?  How can it cry?  Why does it breathe?  Why does it assume the bus is a monster and not a chariot?


Okay... I need to stop there.  I made copies on the original document using MS Word's track changes if the author wants me to send them to him.  I hope my comments helped   Oh, and I'm not trying to trash your story--I thought it was good--I just always dissect movies and books to make sense of them.  You don't have to answer all of the questions above, but some of them should be answered so that your reader is not confused.

Best of luck!

So, I am still attempting to decide what to title this post.  If you are reading this, then perhaps I was successful enough in my nomenclature to lure a few of you in here.  The long and short of this post is: I need help.

I'm a (semi) successful writer.  I've managed to get a few things published, fiction and non-fiction.  I've won contests, gotten a (very) little bit of money from writing, and managed to land a job involving very heavy writing, albeit the wrong kind. 

And now we get to my problem.  I am a lawyer.  Yes, that's a problem, but not the one I'm looking for help with.  That one requires special psychological attention.  What I need help with is this: my legal training and writing has managed to kill my ability to write creatively.  I'm not sure whether it was the years of law school training, or this past year writing boring legal documents at a government job, but something died, and I want to see if I can resurrect it.  I realized the other day that I really don't want to write boring crap documents for the rest of my life, and to get out of that, I want to start writing sci-fi and fantasy again.  Hopefully (crosses fingers) I'll find enough success that I can ditch the legal docs.

I just need to find a way to jump start the part of my brain with the creative juices.  Law teaches you to make creative strategies, but not creative writing ideas.  Creativity in writing is frowned upon because generally that means you don't have a leg to stand on in the case.

So there it is.  They taught me how to think like a lawyer, and I want to make it stop.  Please.  Please make the bad man stop...