136
Rants and Stuff / Re: These Stupid Titles VI
« on: December 05, 2008, 10:10:47 AM »
Goodnight!!!!! 
News:
A lot of people describe Scalzi’s Old Man's War novels as military science fiction, but I would classify its sequel Zoë’s Tale as a space opera. It’s a story about, well, Zoë, a teenage girl whose parents are invited to take leadership roles in building a colony on a new planet. Zoë is an enthusiastic member of the group sent to colonize Roanoke, despite the risks—and the risks are considerable even before the political machinations of greater powers boil to the surface. Continue reading Zoë’s Tale
Review by Silk
Discuss it in our forums.
Show Posts
This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
137
Rants and Stuff / Re: These Stupid Titles VI
« on: December 05, 2008, 10:08:15 AM »
Oh, it's no delusion.
And I didn't say drunk, did I?
Slightly tipsy maybe.
But not drunk.
Mom always says it's not nice to see a lady drunk.....
>.>
<.<
And I didn't say drunk, did I?
Slightly tipsy maybe.
But not drunk.
Mom always says it's not nice to see a lady drunk.....
>.>
<.<
138
Rants and Stuff / Re: These Stupid Titles VI
« on: December 05, 2008, 10:05:13 AM »
Raethe... seriously... you need to come over here for a karaoke night. I'll make sure you're just over that limit and you'll be fine 
139
Rants and Stuff / Re: These Stupid Titles VI
« on: December 05, 2008, 09:54:49 AM »
Wow......
Karaoke.... free drinks.....
Minus the snakes and the hazy memory, sounds like a good night.
I do karaoke.... friends egg me on to do it.... and then send me to the bar afterwards.....
Maybe they're traumatised by that point? o.o
Karaoke.... free drinks.....
Minus the snakes and the hazy memory, sounds like a good night.
I do karaoke.... friends egg me on to do it.... and then send me to the bar afterwards.....
Maybe they're traumatised by that point? o.o
140
Rants and Stuff / Re: These Stupid Titles VI
« on: December 05, 2008, 09:50:51 AM »
With karaoke?
Karaoke's always good?
Karaoke's always good?
141
Rants and Stuff / Re: These Stupid Titles VI
« on: December 05, 2008, 09:48:15 AM »
Very very very bad?
142
Rants and Stuff / Re: These Stupid Titles VI
« on: December 05, 2008, 09:45:25 AM »
alcohol's go----- -very very bad!!!
143
Rants and Stuff / Re: These Stupid Titles VI
« on: December 05, 2008, 09:42:04 AM »
.............
Knew there was a reason I shouldn't have gone to sleep.
I missed all that!!!
And now I see why they took my glasses off me a couple of years ago and told me I didn't need them any more....
My intellect vanished ^^
Knew there was a reason I shouldn't have gone to sleep.
I missed all that!!!
And now I see why they took my glasses off me a couple of years ago and told me I didn't need them any more....
My intellect vanished ^^
144
Rants and Stuff / Re: These Stupid Titles VI
« on: December 05, 2008, 03:08:22 AM »
That's a lot of honor in one sentence...
145
Reading Excuses / Re: 12-01-08 Aspirations Chapters 1-7
« on: December 05, 2008, 02:46:52 AM »
Hehe. You make it sound like a whole other language
146
Reading Excuses / Re: PHYLES Chapter one Pt. 1
« on: December 05, 2008, 02:45:07 AM »
Argh!
Cliffhangers!!!!
Does he die? Doesn't he die?
I like the way you've built the character up to be someone who's minimalistic, and yet his relationship with Phyles seems more.... un-minimalistic than most other things in his life.
Your writing flows really nicely, and find the first person easy to read.
Waiting for more
Cliffhangers!!!!
Does he die? Doesn't he die?
I like the way you've built the character up to be someone who's minimalistic, and yet his relationship with Phyles seems more.... un-minimalistic than most other things in his life.
Your writing flows really nicely, and find the first person easy to read.
Waiting for more
147
Reading Excuses / Re: 12-01-08 Aspirations Chapters 1-7
« on: December 05, 2008, 02:29:00 AM »
Well I feel as confused as your character about the Halloween party... but I'm guessing that comes next?
I love the way you've written this though. It's almost like I can hear him telling me the story. Really comes across as talking to the reader instead of at them.
There's a couple of aphostophe's missing here and there, and a your instead of a you're.... but other than that, grammar seems good too (nitpicky much).
Only thing is..... is he in America or England when he meets the man?
And the English don't speak like that Hehe. Just to rain on the parade even more. Sorry!!!!
Well, some English people do, but not all..... *hides*
I love the way you've written this though. It's almost like I can hear him telling me the story. Really comes across as talking to the reader instead of at them.
There's a couple of aphostophe's missing here and there, and a your instead of a you're.... but other than that, grammar seems good too (nitpicky much).
Only thing is..... is he in America or England when he meets the man?
And the English don't speak like that
Hehe. Just to rain on the parade even more. Sorry!!!! Well, some English people do, but not all..... *hides*
148
Reading Excuses / Re: Fateshapers - Ch1
« on: December 05, 2008, 02:02:59 AM »
Wow......
I really enjoyed this!
Just a few little niggly things from me....
I... will... kill... Fuei muttered, swooning a little."
Now, this could just be me cos I'm a chick-lit reader.... but 'kill' and 'swoon' to me don't fit in the same sentence. I hear swoon and think like..... swooning at the sight of their true love or something, as opposed to.... feeling overcome as I suspect your character is here.
It's your time, little one... It said, moving up to set it's clawed foot on his throat.
I think not. He spat, lunging up. Adrenaline flowed, and mixed with something else,
something powerful, and he drew free the knives at his waist.
Driving a knife into it's foot, Fuei pushed off of the pommel and drove the second one
up and in,
Has the knife gone into the foot that's on his throat?? It slightly confused me... as it presumably has 4 feet... wouldn't he be endangering himself if he pushed the knife in too far? (Think this bit is curiosity more than being picky)
And just a typo here: You don't value you life much, do - (Change you to your)
Someone else may have picked up on those things already.... sorry if they have and I'm repeating.
I really enjoyed this!
Just a few little niggly things from me....
I... will... kill... Fuei muttered, swooning a little."
Now, this could just be me cos I'm a chick-lit reader.... but 'kill' and 'swoon' to me don't fit in the same sentence. I hear swoon and think like..... swooning at the sight of their true love or something, as opposed to.... feeling overcome as I suspect your character is here.
It's your time, little one... It said, moving up to set it's clawed foot on his throat.
I think not. He spat, lunging up. Adrenaline flowed, and mixed with something else,
something powerful, and he drew free the knives at his waist.
Driving a knife into it's foot, Fuei pushed off of the pommel and drove the second one
up and in,
Has the knife gone into the foot that's on his throat?? It slightly confused me... as it presumably has 4 feet... wouldn't he be endangering himself if he pushed the knife in too far? (Think this bit is curiosity more than being picky)
And just a typo here: You don't value you life much, do - (Change you to your)
Someone else may have picked up on those things already.... sorry if they have and I'm repeating.
149
Reading Excuses / Re: Crystalheart Ch. 1
« on: December 05, 2008, 01:36:25 AM »
Okay, I've very briefly skimmed the discussion, but I'll write my thoughts...
Within the first 4 pages, you use 'finally' 3 times to close off a process... not sure if there's perhaps another word you could use to replace it?
Also, word repetition again.... in the first page, Dantes calles Aerthyst 'friend' twice in a row... but doesn't seem to do it for the rest of the chapter? Is it something D would usually call A?
And then there was just one sentence I didn't like...
They fought on the otherworldly, glasslike bridge, wind racing around them. This city was theirs.
Not sure what it was.... but it's just my opinion.... could maybe do with a bit more description... show the reader the fight, rather than telling us it took place.
But overall, it was a good piece You seemed to get more into it towards the end after they got back to camp. Not sure what it is... but it seemed a lot more fluid as you got to that point.
Looking forward to Chapter 2
Within the first 4 pages, you use 'finally' 3 times to close off a process... not sure if there's perhaps another word you could use to replace it?
Also, word repetition again.... in the first page, Dantes calles Aerthyst 'friend' twice in a row... but doesn't seem to do it for the rest of the chapter? Is it something D would usually call A?
And then there was just one sentence I didn't like...
They fought on the otherworldly, glasslike bridge, wind racing around them. This city was theirs.
Not sure what it was.... but it's just my opinion.... could maybe do with a bit more description... show the reader the fight, rather than telling us it took place.
But overall, it was a good piece
You seemed to get more into it towards the end after they got back to camp. Not sure what it is... but it seemed a lot more fluid as you got to that point. Looking forward to Chapter 2
150
Rants and Stuff / Re: These Stupid Titles VI
« on: December 05, 2008, 01:12:31 AM »
You keep telling everyone you're through with it, and then carry on doing it.
Who's Edmond Dantes? o.o
Who's Edmond Dantes? o.o