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Messages - Dangerbutton

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Writing Group / Re: Get rid of all the elves?
« on: January 30, 2009, 07:11:58 AM »
I think I've changed my mind on this subject quite a bit over the years. At one point I was a huge fan of the traditional elves, but at another I was very much against them. For a while I thought they were only cool if you gave them a twist to make them different. Right now, I'd say I don't really care. I personally don't care to include them in any books I'm writing, but I'm not going to reject a book just because it has elves.
I think that it depends a lot on the situation. In a book, as I said, I don't really care. Include elves, exclude elves, whatever. I play a lot of games, though. I also like to design games (mostly roleplaying games). I have noticed that in fantasy games, the traditional elves, dwarves, etc. seem to work best. They can have twists (for example, the warcraft setting takes a different angle on a lot of them), but I tend to like them more when they stick with what we're used to. In a book, where you have time to learn about and familiarize yourself with unique races, it's different from a game, where you've got to play with a race you are unfamiliar with. Even a well written rpg isn't going to give you as much insight into an original race that they've invented as a few chapters of a book will. (however, I'm going to have to admit that there are exceptions with games, too. At least, I'd hope so, because I realize that none of the races in an rpg I'm working on are traditional.  :-\)
Vampires, though. I'm sick of vampires.

Pepperoni, Bacon (breakfast bacon, not canadian bacon) and either banana peppers or chopped garlic.
However, if you're ordering pizza for a pink unicorn (male or female), they like magical goblinberries with fairy dust on their pizza.

Reading Excuses / A temporary absence
« on: January 28, 2009, 06:06:37 AM »
Ahoy all.
    Well, I'm just posting to let you all know that I'm going to have to drop out of Reading Excuses for a while. Not permanently. I've just found myself to be more overwhelmed between school and work than I thought I'd be this semester. If you haven't noticed, I haven't gotten around to critiquing anyone's work for weeks, and I've been having trouble finding time to do very much writing. So, until things get under control, I'm probably not going to be submitting or critiquing anything.  Hopefully it's not for too long, but we'll see.

I think it's important to consider how long they would look at the girl with tight, revealing pants. There's a big difference between glancing quickly and letting your eyes linger a while.
I've heard it said that the first look at someone's body can be in a good way. A guy can look at a girl with tight pants and think. "She keeps in good shape", or something like that. Is that thought automatically tied to sexual thoughts? I think not. Can it be? Yes. If the guy keeps staring at miss tightpants he's likely to start thinking more about that good shape, and well, we know where it goes from there. In some cases, though, that train of thought can move pretty quickly.
As far as sex and religion goes, I'm going to agree with ryanjm that arguing about it would be like swimming up a waterfall. Everyone has their own beliefs on the matter, whether based on religion or not, and, especially in on a forum like this, I don't see it going far. However, I commend little_wilson  and reaves for defending their beliefs like that.
Anyhow, that's all I've got to say on the matter.

I would like to second everything jjb just said.

Something important to consider in the relationship between Vin and Elend is how Vin felt about the way noblemen slept with skaa women. Were I Elend, after the scene in the first book where Vin asks him if he had ever bedded skaa women, I'd sure as crap wanna treat her with a lot more respect, no matter how attractive I found her. To me, the fact that you never saw Elend "checkin' her out" showed how strong their relationship was. The books also put a large emphasis on the trust in their relationship.
I thought the amount of sexuality in the book was just right. You were aware that Breeze and Allriane had been sleeping together (Brandon even confirms that in his annotations of WoA), and there is a scene that happens after the (newlywed) Vin and Elend have been having sex. It doesn't dwell on those things, just mentions them in passing.
Also, whoever pointed out that a lot of the others were tied up (I'm too lazy to look through this small thread and quote it), had a point. Ham was married, Kelsier had once been married, and perhaps wanted to leave it at that.
Spook, though. I think he's a realistically portrayed male. When he's younger, you've got the awkward teen with a crush on Vin. In HoA, there's that one girl in the one place that he obviously is attracted to. . .  I don't remember her name and am too lazy to look it up. You know who I'm talkin about. It was made clear that Spook was very attracted to the girl in HoA, but you never heard him thinking "would you look at that booty, I'd like to . . . ". Even a teenage boy whose hormones are probably raging just as much as every other teenage boy's isn't automatically start thinkin sexual things about a girl he is attracted to. There's nothing unrealistic about the way men were depicted in Mistborn.

Reading Excuses / Expectations for Birthright?
« on: January 17, 2009, 11:19:00 PM »
So, I have been considering putting my story, Birthright, aside for a while so I can work on a different stories. The details are all posted here:

Anyhow, in response to that post, Silk suggested asking you wonderful and awesome people here at Reading Excuses what your expectations for the story were. Those of you who have read what I've submitted thus far, where did you think it was going? What promises did you see made, that you expect to be kept?
Personally, I'm not sure I can answer those questions myself, so I would like to see what you think.

Writing Group / Re: My writing dilemma
« on: January 17, 2009, 11:14:48 PM »
Thank you for your input.
I would like to point out that I have absolutely no intention of tossing out the story. I have done a fair amount of world building, and would like to, eventually, make it the setting of several stories. However, I feel that it would be the best for the story if I put it aside until I came up with a better idea for the plot.

First off: I would slog through and try to finish it (especially if you've never finished something before). You learn a lot from finishing a story, I think, even if it never goes anywhere after that. And if you finish it and it turns out badly, the hardest part is still done - you can always go back and fix it later.

I would like to be able to do that -- to just slog through it just to get it done -- but the problem there is in the speed I write. Especially with this new semester having started (I'm getting a lot more homework than the last semester) I don't get a lot of writing done at all. I felt like I'd be doing good if I got the story done in under a year. I personally feel like that would be a long time to be slogging through it.

However, I like the Silk's suggestion to ask the wonderful people of RE what expectations they have. Seeing as I have never been entirely sure where the story was going, I'd like to hear where other people thought the story was going. I may just do that. . .

Writing Group / My writing dilemma
« on: January 17, 2009, 08:55:52 PM »
I've found myself in a pickle.
For the past two months, I've been working on a story, which I've also been submitting to the Reading Excuses group. I have enjoyed what I've been writing, and I really like setting and characters. However, the problem arises with the plot. I don't see it going anywhere.
The problem originates with how I started writing. I had a cool idea for setting and magic, but no story to go with it. At the same time, in my creative writing class, for my final project I needed to write a short story that was no more than 10 pages. I saw this as a great opportunity to write about this setting, incorporating the magic, yet not have to worry much about the story. So, I wrote my piece, which turned out to be the prologue to my story (Birthright), which many of you have read. When Reading Excuses started up, I decided to submit it, and from there, decided to write more.
Now I've come to the problem: I don't know what to do with the plot. As I've been writing the few chapters I've done, I have put together a little bit of a plot, but I don't like what I've come up with. I simply don't see it going anywhere.
So, why am I rambling on about all of this?
I have an idea for a story, and it is possibly the first idea I've gotten for a story that hasn't been setting driven, but is, rather, plot driven.
What I'm torn between is whether I keep working on the story I've got, even though I don't see it going anywhere, or I start up this new story, with a plot that is solid, and I can clearly see where to take it, and I really like where it will end up.
My holdup is that I've started a whole lot of stories, but have only finished one, and I'm trying to break that habit.
Any advice?

Reading Excuses / Re: Jan 5th, 2009 - Birthright - Chapter 2
« on: January 09, 2009, 06:42:41 AM »
However, my biggest complaint is that I had assumed that the boy who the men in the prologue were looking for would be the main character and so far it doesn’t seem that way. That in and of itself isn’t a complaint, but the fact that if he is as I suspect, then he probably should’ve been introduced in at least the second chapter—on one waits past chapter three for the introduction to the main character.

Okay, I'll go ahead and let you all know right now that the boy mentioned in the prologue is not the main character. He will be a very important one, but Boone is the main character.

Reading Excuses / Re: Dec 15 - Queen'sOpal - Part 1
« on: January 08, 2009, 06:43:04 AM »
Took me quite a while to get around to reading this one, but I finally did. Yay me!
   Anyhow, I really liked your writing up until the very end of chapter one. I thought the dialogue was really well done up until the conversation with their father. At that point, I'm not sure what it was, but the dialogue just didn't feel real, and it wasn't interesting. However, up until that point, I thought your writing was very well done.
   I was very intrigued by the prologue. The Dragonet character is interesting, and I'd like to see more of him (Of course, had I been on the ball and been reading these things when they were posted, I probably would have seen more of him by now).
   I wasn't entirely convinced by Garrad's little outbursts, though. Maybe if I understood more of the background, I would see why he got so angry, but from what I knew,  it just didn't seem realistic. However, I though you did really good describing his appearance and mannerisms.

Reading Excuses / Re: Jan 5th, 2009 - Birthright - Chapter 2
« on: January 06, 2009, 01:04:05 AM »
I think you can make it work though, if since it's evident that he is already surrounded by people with guns.

That was exactly the reason he got away with it.

Reading Excuses / Re: Jan 5th, 2009 - Birthright - Chapter 2
« on: January 05, 2009, 09:26:20 PM »
I didn't see any major problems on my first read through except that Leringould shouldn't have let Boone touch his gun. I doubt anyone would be that stupid, and while it doesn't have to be changed if  eventually answered, WHY would Leringould not know at least a little bit about the birthright of the man he was chasing after? It makes even less sense if they had encountered one another before.

I had hoped it would be evident from Warren's comments at the end of the chapter, but what Boone has is NOT a typical Birthright. From what Leringould observed, his assumption was that it was a more common Birthright, one that only enhanced his physical capabilities (Similar to Rogers' Birthright from the Prologue). What Boone possesses is, in fact,  far different. With just about any regular Birthright, Boone shouldn't have been able to get away with anything while surrounded by armed men. When Boone touched Leringould's gun, although it made the men more wary of whatever Boone might do, they had no way of expecting that Boone would even be capable of pulling a stunt  like he did.
I suppose I'll have to revise it slightly to make that more evident. Thanks for the observation.

Reading Excuses / Re: Dec 15, 08 - Birthright - Chapter 1
« on: January 05, 2009, 06:41:51 AM »
I was worried about how many names I was throwing out. There will be a lot of names to learn in this story, and I don't plan on changing that fact, but not all of the names brought up in this chapter are of any importance. If all goes well, mere repetition will make it clear which names are going to be important to the story (at this point, you should be seeing that the Archelaines and the Wingroves are some important names).  I guess what I'm trying to say is don't get too caught up on the names unless they are brought up frequently.
 Again, thanks, everyone, for the input.

Reading Excuses / Re: Crystalheart, Chapter 2
« on: January 05, 2009, 06:35:15 AM »
I liked it, but I liked the first chapter more.
I think there were a few reasons.
There wasn't enough outside of the fighting. I'm going to agree with Karl that the fighting was long, redundant and unsatisfying. There was too much action, and not enough of it was interesting. I got the point that the mr. silver hair was way out of their league early on, so their repeated attempts to take him were almost annoying.
I was also bugged by what appeared to be an inconsistency in their fighting abilities. At one point, they're like gods fighting the grunts, but, on more than one occasion, you point at that their small mistakes in battle nearly costs them their life. I'm going to second (or third or fourth, wherever we're at) the comments made about how easily they were beaten in the struggle near the end. It may have just been that they simply weren't in the best of condition at that time, but they seemed to be brought down by the blue-cloaked grunts all too easily.
There were also too many points where I had to stop and think about the action, attempting to make sense of what was happening. This may just be that I am not yet familiar enough with your style of writing action scenes (it wasn't until the third or fourth action scene in Sanderson's Mistborn that I was able to easily picture what was going on), so I'm not going to hold that against you, for now.
Despite all of those problems, I still like it. I really want to see where it is going, and the chapter ended on, in my opinion, a good note (well, not good that they were dying . . . I meant that the quality of the writing was good....)
I want to see more, so keep it up!

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