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Topics - Renkar

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Writing Group / Novel idea needs some guidance
« on: August 16, 2008, 03:40:53 AM »
   I have been kicking around this idea for a few months now.  I have quite a bit of world building done, but need some feedback.  Afraid maybe too cliche or is something that has already been done. 

   First the setting is a newly established Empire based on family-line rule, very Egyptian God-king like.  The ruling family has been in power for about 500 years, but has just consolidated power about 10 years ago over the western half continent with the invasion of the country that the series starts in.   The continent is split in two by a jungle that has never been crossed.  The Empire has controlled and manipulated history since taking power, so much of the history that is known by the public at large is skewed as is the knowledge of what is currently happening.  The people are somewhat free, but only nobles own property(land).  Nobles are only ones who  can use magic.  If a peasant manifests a magical power he is bought off and made a very minor noble subservient to a higher noble with better lineage or he is killed.
   There is no hero of legend or prophecy of a chosen one.  IMHO, already done by far too many, far better than I.  Also there really isn't any big bad except for the evil of the human heart\mind.  The whole power\position corrupts theme.

   Our heroes are part of a resistance movement looking to start a revolution that will overthrow regime.   The cell the story focuses on, there are many different cells located throughout the Empire, include a father and daughter, a former soldier of the empire who has walked away from the military b\c does not agree with philosophy of the ruling class.  One member of another larger humanish race called the Vansyr, which have been used as slave labor b\c of their size, and for other reasons that wont be revealed now.  There will be others that come and go, but that is the many core and the main POV characters aside from the Emperor and maybe a few key bad guys don't know exactly yet.  Their methods are pretty debatable as to the right and wrong.   Resistances has just some pretty basic tenants, but the method of following them are open for debate amongst cell members.

     The magic system is based on Elements of fire, earth, wind, and water.  (I know very cliche)  however, magic is used only through a focus object which is created through meditation, i.e a ring, etc. nothing bigger than a bracer, and wielding of  the magic requires physical contact with the focus object.  Each Elemental(working name for magic users) is gifted what I am calling the users "Elemental Gift" which is a weapon formed by the elements. The Elemental senses this gift after they manifest their powers and they must traverse the "trials" which are designed to lead the user toward their destiny.  The trials are different for each user as is the type of weapon their gift will take.  The weapon is the main source of magical power.  Magic is limited and personal. (sometimes the right pressure exerted at the right time will have large consequences is another general theme)
    The Elementals are broke down into five types.  Some only use one power, which have specific attributes and then one type that uses all four powers, however they are not as strong in any of the four powers as someone who uses only one power.  each weapon has a name and seems to have a personality but is not really alive, more like a sensation.

   I think that wraps it up with out giving away too much plot and story.  Does it sound like a path i should explore further?  Does it sound like something you might pick up and read or does it at least peek any interest.  Does it sound too video gamey?  Any suggestions, critiques?  Too much cliche?  Feel free to hammer away.  Have a few very rough chapters in need of editing and a lot of outline that i will pass along if you email me (See my profile). 

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