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Messages - Hayley

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Rants and Stuff / Re: These Stupid Titles IX: Still Without a Title
« on: April 23, 2009, 11:16:24 PM »
Did my fleas ever come back....? I can't remember.... *waits to find out!!!*

Rants and Stuff / Re: These Stupid Titles VIII
« on: January 20, 2009, 11:51:19 PM »
Alright, alright :P

Role-Playing Games / Re: TWG Dueling League
« on: January 20, 2009, 11:25:49 PM »
Sorry! Computer problems, and not got round to reinstalling AIM yet  :-[

Rants and Stuff / Re: These Stupid Titles VIII
« on: January 20, 2009, 11:18:27 PM »
Honey mustard would go an awful lot better...

Rants and Stuff / Re: These Stupid Titles VIII
« on: January 13, 2009, 08:38:17 PM »
WAHEEEEEEEEY. I begged enough for some software disks, and a very nice person helped me fix my laptop...

Oh what a celebration I'll have today.... thank goodness!

Rants and Stuff / Re: These Stupid Titles VIII
« on: January 11, 2009, 09:29:53 PM »
What's an absolver?!

You... solve abs? Maybe work in a gym?

Yeah, I hope its fixed soon, too. Hate sitting at a desk!!!!
Hopefully should be Tuesday/Wednesday!

Rants and Stuff / Re: These Stupid Titles VIII
« on: January 11, 2009, 01:54:42 PM »
Desktop which I hate!


Hopefully it's being fixed next week..

Rants and Stuff / Re: These Stupid Titles VIII
« on: January 09, 2009, 02:50:23 PM »
My laptop's died :(

Shall have to go beg for someone to fix it....

(Sorry for any upcoming inactivity...)

Reading Excuses / Re: Jan 5th - Untitled
« on: January 05, 2009, 01:17:29 PM »
Thanks for that, Frog :)

Telling is an awful habit I've fallen into with my writing, but trying to break myself out of it. Apparently not with much luck! Will focus on it even more on the second chapter, definitely.

Sometimes, just get worried that I'm putting in too much dialogue between the characters, and the reader isn't finding out enough about anything else other than what they are saying..

Rants and Stuff / Re: These Stupid Titles VIII
« on: January 05, 2009, 03:42:52 AM »
If they're holy, maybe they don't need patching...

Reading Excuses / Jan 5th - Untitled
« on: January 05, 2009, 03:27:21 AM »
Hi all,

As stated in the email, this does not have a title as of yet... erm... and where there's a ________ I'm still on the way to choosing a family name. Other than that, I think it's all there.

Apologies for sending it out on the 4th for those of you who are in a different time zone, but here it's 2.26am... and I have a heap of uni work to do tomorrow. Hence it being sent out now.

Erm... anyway... tear it to shreds.


Reading Excuses / Re: Ascension, Chapters 1 & 2 - 12/19/08
« on: January 05, 2009, 03:11:27 AM »
Hey hey! Made it at last! Apologies for the lateness.

Well... this Raven guy's not a happy character, is he?

One of the first things I picked up is that you use the word 'enraged' an awful lot in your first couple of pages...

Liked the way you flit between him being in the room, him leaving the room..... and then you stay with the two UU people inside the room, but then go straight to Raven outside the building again. Interesting that you didn't show the battle, but then I guess it would have been much of the same as with the two inside the room.. and they pretty much predicted what would happen anyway.

So... yeah! :)

Reading Excuses / Re: Dec 29 - Queen'sOpal - Part 2
« on: January 05, 2009, 02:54:11 AM »
Personally, I don't think there needs to be conflict just yet, as has been suggested above... I can't see where it would fit into the storyline already (I'm guessing this is a long piece).

Again, very, very well written, flows nicely which makes it easy to read, and isn't jumpy from one chapter to the next.

Aside from a few spelling errors that I picked up, it's brilliant! :)

Reading Excuses / Re: Dec 15 - Queen'sOpal - Part 1
« on: January 05, 2009, 02:23:09 AM »

First off, can I apologise for not having a lot of negative critism... if any.

Very, very well written!

Felt really sad for Drynn when his father seemed completely detached from his mother's death. It was like... yes, your mother's died, here's the opal.. good luck. That's what it seemed like... really felt for him.

The only thing I would say is that we don't seem to get to know the characters very well. Like, what it is they do, where they are... but it is getting late, and may have mssed that.

Thought the older brother/younger brother/older brother's best friend scene was brilliant, just after the fencing match. The older brother being adored, the best friend suddenly ignored, and the younger brother just sort of.... there... wishing he was taller.

But very, very well done!! A brilliant read!

Rants and Stuff / Re: These Stupid Titles VIII
« on: January 05, 2009, 02:06:29 AM »
So you don't have any clothes to spare the poor beggar girl, Ben?


And ahhh I see! Hmm.... must admit, I don't know a lot about burial....traditions? I think thats the word...

Wooo holey leotards! Reckon they'll patch up okay?

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