Timewaster's Guide Archive

It does happen occasionally. At least once a decade.

It's funny 'cause it's true.

(Don't look at me like that. Are you forgetting who played Gandalf?)

The biggest issue I see is that it still feels like nothing is happening, which is absurd, because stuff obviously is when you stop to think abot it. I suspect the problem is still that you're jumping between two viewpoints, and you're doing it so frequently that we don't get much progress on one before  we jump to the other. Also, the fact that you've got the two viewpoints in the chapter cuts the progress on either one in half.

The end result is that Rosalyn has a dream that is mostly confusing at this point, the wakes up and has breakfast. Yawn. Nothing moved in her story.

then Dais. They move through the city and get caught in a mob, they may or may not have lost their captive (it's not clear), but the chapter ends before anything much happens. Yes, there is more movement than for Rosalyn, but it still felt cut short.

My suggestion to you is to try an experiment. Write an entire chapter with only a single viewpoint. Make it at least 2000 words. If you hate it you can always cut it up and interleave it the way you have been doing, but I strongly suspect it will improve your pacing.

Plain text doesn't mean 7-bit ASCII. There are dozens of better encodings, and UTF-8 supersedes them all for most uses.

A lot of people have gotten hung up on the king, not just in this but in the prior short. The issue is that Thoracious is not a traditional king, and he plays a different role than the title suggests. I've all but decided to change his title in an attempt to fix this perception gap, but I'm not quite sure what it should be.  President has democratic associations, and this is not a democracy (it's an aristocracy). Seer has religious implications, and Thoracious is not a religious figure.

Guh...I'll think of something eventually. Until then, I'll continue to write him as "king".

I'm reading a book by an author I like, but the book has such a horrible cover that I don't want to admit I'm reading it.

That was me while reading The Gathering Storm. I always take the dust jacket off when I read a hardcover. With TGS, I was loath to put it back on when I was done.

Thanks for putting up with the late submission.

So, I realized that I needed to expand chapter 2 in order to bridge to chapter 3. So, read chapter 2b as though it were tacked onto the end of the previously submitted chapter 2.

In my first submission, I had not yet decided what to call Thoracious' country, so I left {country} placeholders in the text. I have tentatively named it Nalend.

Thanks again.