Timewaster's Guide Archive
General => Rants and Stuff => Topic started by: Entsuropi on April 30, 2003, 12:46:34 PM
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2005 - TWG starts making readers pay
2007 - Subliminal messages inserted into the TWG banner
2008 - Fellfrosch issues ultimatum to RPG.net: "Stop reviewing... or else"
2009 - Mr Pleasington starts underground rebellion against the corporate excess of TWG. EUOL becomes chief non-participant of the rebellion.
2010 - Battle of the polls leaves dozens of readers dead
2011 - Slant assassinated by rebel spy
2012 - Mr Pleasington captured by a assault team led by Tage. Is sentenced to death for his crimes against time wasting.
2012 - Mr Pleasington rescued by a walking carpet and EUOL's jedi mind powers.
2013 - It becomes illegal for US citizens to not partipate in TWG polls.
2014 - Fellfrosch assassinated and suceeded by House of Mustard. HoM steps up the war, appointing Entropy head of the Weapons of Mass Timewasting Development section.
2015 - Spriggan taints EUOL, turning him to the dark side.
2016 - EUOL becomes resident non-participant at TWG.
2017 - Isimir launches daring surprise attack, seizing the top banner and converting it into the rebel flagship.
2018 - top banner destroyed by Spriggans Flash code assault team. HoM declares him a hero of Time Wasters Everywhere.
;D
Anyone else want to finish the timeline?
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Ha, I have to admit, this really made me laugh. I think you're a loon, but you're a funny one.
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2019: SaintEhlers starts a new religion, forcing ElJeffe and Entropy to join "on pain of stoning"
2020: "Religious Wars" start between SaintEhlers and HoM over whether a religion is truly a waste of time even if the object of worship is wasting time.
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2021: Time stops and the universe explodes, because if HoM ever approves of anything Spriggan says or does that's probably what will happen.
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I think it would have all ended back in 2014 when I take over. I never post anything and the site dwindles away into dusty oblivion.
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2022: Arathorn, revealed to be a secret member of the Time Corps sets everything right by going back to 2003 and shooting Entropy before he can start the timeline.
EUOL becomes the chief non-participant in linear time.
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That cracks me up Entropy!
So apparently I'm Princess Leia?
You did see the "Mr" in my name, right? ;D
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I blame myself, this is what happens when we leave him to his own devices. No longer will I sleep instead of playing Pool with Entropy.
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Great, now we've got people hacking into forum accounts. That obviously wasn't Sprig. Not only was it accepting blame for something, but there wasn't a single misspelled word. Come on, folks. If you're going to post message as other people, at least put a little effort into it.
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I save the day 8) or atleast I will.
BALEETED!
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2033 - Years later out of the dust and rubble Gemm shows up and begins to rebuild TWG from the ground up. Using the mutated minds of Fellfrosch, Spriggan, and Tage, he is successful. The new TWG (or as it will be called NTWG) will be in a euphoric utopia until Gemm realizes that guns are needed. He'll then use any metal he can find, make the guns, be kicked out of NTWG. Unto which NTWG will be blown to smitherins as its overrun my the mutated and multiplied pieces of Fell, Sprigg, and Tage. And Gemm will then proceed to sing "Left foot, right foot" as he travels to a new land of forums.
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"You BLEW IT UP!"
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2021- El Jeffe is appointed High Chief Priest in the Ehlers faith with the power to decide who lives and who dies.
Everyone dies!!!!
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Somebody has been watching waaaay too much Pinky & the Brain.....
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And guess who dies first!
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2034: Brian, having long ago forgotten about TWG, is now a low-ranking officer in the Time Corps, and is assigned to clean up the temporal vortex set in motion by the chaotic time manipulation activity of the recently obliterated NTWG and its predecessors.
In doing so, he stumbles across long-secret documents outlining numerous Sinister Plots of Productivity architected by former members of the TWG, and makes a fortune when he publishes his fabulous expose on the subject, but is later killed by the assassin priests of SaintEhlers' cult..
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OK. What the hell.
I die, and SE gets his own assassin priests?! Wheres the fairness in that.
I want at least a scout titan in return.
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nonononono. You misunderstand. I *already* have assassin priests.
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circa 740 BC:
A surly prophet in a tiny kingdom declares, "For the leaders of this people cause them to err; and they that are led of them are destroyed...for everyone is an hypocrite and an evildoer, and every mouth speaketh folly."
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nonononono. You misunderstand. I *already* have assassin priests.
Oops, sorry. I assumed that was common knowledge..
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He does have his own assassin priests....
I've seen them,...
but it wouldnt hurt if they'd work out more.
I dont think they've lifted anything heavier than a bag of cheese puffs.
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Since they are the assassin priests of SE, i imagine they just talk their targets to death. Or overanalyse them to death...
;)
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You don't need to work more when you're really good at video games.
Oh, and you have super powers. Watch out, their psi-kill thought command is a killer. Literally.
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2003: Euol is declared chief non-participant in this thread.