Timewaster's Guide Archive

General => Rants and Stuff => Topic started by: EUOL on February 03, 2004, 08:28:57 PM

Title: Beaker ate my student's paper
Post by: EUOL on February 03, 2004, 08:28:57 PM

So, uh, how do you explain to a student in your class that your pet cockatiel decided to go to town on his paper?  And that you let said cockatiel chew up the paper because it kept the bird from annoying you while you tried to grade other papers?

Title: Re: Beaker ate my student's paper
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 03, 2004, 08:35:38 PM

*laughs and laughs and laughs some more*

Well, you could always bring Beaker to class.  He is pretty cute, and especially if the student in question is a female they might forgive you more easily.

Title: Re: Beaker ate my student's paper
Post by: Mad Dr Jeffe on February 03, 2004, 08:55:51 PM

just say you never got it... that ought to put them in a panic......

Title: Re: Beaker ate my student's paper
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 03, 2004, 09:02:19 PM

Ooo!  You could offer them like 3 extra credit points, on account of their paper being so tasty!

Title: Re: Beaker ate my student's paper
Post by: EUOL on February 03, 2004, 10:06:14 PM

Ha!  That's one I didn't think of.

Title: Re: Beaker ate my student's paper
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 03, 2004, 10:18:53 PM

OR! You can write a personal essay about hte experience and what you learned.

Title: Re: Beaker ate my student's paper
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 03, 2004, 10:55:17 PM

My personal favorite is put the "paper" in a paper bag and set it to flame on the student in questions porch.  HEHEHE...fun...

Title: Re: Beaker ate my student's paper
Post by: EUOL on February 03, 2004, 11:23:52 PM

Maybe I should make Beaker write a personal essay about what he learned.  Or at least about how the paper tasted.

Title: Re: Beaker ate my student's paper
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 03, 2004, 11:37:24 PM

Please, please please write a paper from Beaker's POV, about why he ate the paper and what he learned, and then post it here. I expect it to be punctuated with lots of "Beaker-Beaker"-s

Title: Re: Beaker ate my student's paper
Post by: EUOL on February 03, 2004, 11:42:15 PM

Beaker?

Beaker, beaker, BEAK!

beaker beaker.  

BEAK?

Beaker's a beautiful bird!
Beaker's a beautiful bird!

Beautiful, beautiful!

Beak beak beaker!


<Continue on for about an hour>

Title: Re: Beaker ate my student's paper
Post by: Mr_Pleasington on February 04, 2004, 02:16:11 AM

I wouldn't think the student would mind too much.  If you're going to have your paper eaten by a muppet, you can't do much better than Beaker.  Well, maybe Sam the Eagle.

Title: Re: Beaker ate my student's paper
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 04, 2004, 07:45:31 AM

Or you can gently explain to the student in question how his/her paper is on your neighbors lawn, then give them a standard six paragraph essay of cause and effect, starting from when Beaker ate the paper, and ending up with what you learned, what Beaker didn't learn, and how the student has no right to complain because you said so...They'll understand

Title: Re: Beaker ate my student's paper
Post by: Tekiel on February 04, 2004, 10:57:13 AM

Well, is this student worried about getting their paper back?  Sometimes my teachers wouldn't return them, they'd just tell us our grades.  Maybe you could get away with that.

Or, you could write a small composition on why you let Beaker eat his/her paper and what you learned from the experience.  Then bring in Beaker and demonstrate him eating someone else's paper!  (I'm sure there will be no lack of volunteers for this.)

Title: Re: Beaker ate my student's paper
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 04, 2004, 05:11:56 PM

Heck, I'm not even in the class and I volunteer!

Title: Re: Beaker ate my student's paper
Post by: Onion of Death on February 04, 2004, 07:22:34 PM

I wasn't aware that birds had a taste for paper...

Just tell the kid what happened. Did you have the time to correct it first? Or did this tree-eating monster eat it too quick?

Title: Re: Beaker ate my student's paper
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 04, 2004, 07:44:46 PM

wow, I totally thought we were talking about a dog.  Maybe that's why everyone was ignoring me... It seems I should pay more attention.  Anyway, maybe if you replace the paper with birdseed it would be a fair trade...

Title: Re: Beaker ate my student's paper
Post by: EUOL on February 04, 2004, 11:21:43 PM

I had time to correct it, and I COULD give it back--it's just filled with holes (beyond the logical ones normal of a freshman paper.)  I think I'll just 'forget' to give it back, and se what he has to say about it.  It wasn't a major paper--just a smaller response-style one.

Title: Re: Beaker ate my student's paper
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 05, 2004, 12:09:30 AM

Gorgon: yeah, he's a bird.  Guess we all just assumed everyone knew that.  ;o)

It'd probably be easier to get away with bringing a bird to class than a dog.

Title: Re: Beaker ate my student's paper
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 05, 2004, 07:16:07 PM

Hence my confusion... and random comments about neighbors lawns and buning paper bags, which would not work with birdie doo doo.