Timewaster's Guide Archive
General => Rants and Stuff => Topic started by: Renoard on June 28, 2009, 05:00:36 AM
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Now taking nominations. I of course nominate my self. My qualifications include the fact I am wiling to take no responsibility whatever or make any statements, regarding dessert, which are not equivocal and easily misinterpreted.
The Senate of Dessert Appreciation (SoDA) will be a body of five legislators and coequal executives who will thwart the agenda of any group attempting to establish real change or give ascendancy to Either Pie or Cake. They will however be open to bribery and scandal with regard to any sufficiently rich desert, without bias, malice or forethought. Having taken dessert from special interests, the Senators will be honor bound to obfuscate the issues, provide no guidance and while speaking publicly in favor of their own special interest contributors, abstain from decisions, deal equally with the competing interests and hamper progress toward real ascendancy of either Pie or Cake.
When sufficient nominations have been received and the purpose of this convention has been lost in the general sussurus and debate that is enviable in any such proceeding, a new thread will be announced containing a poll where you can exercise your God given right to exercise futility.
Thank you for your support, I want to be your fake senator. My name is Renoard and I approve of this message.
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My side hurts...man that was funny....
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Wow. That was....unexpected.
I have a question, though. I'm currently sided with the cake faction, but cake is not my favorite dessert. Ben & Jerry's Half-Baked ice cream is. Since there is no "Ben & Jerry's Half-Baked" faction, can I drop my affiliation with cake and run for the Senate? I'd like to be a Senator....
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Looks like two self nominations, so far.
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So I guess the answer to my question is 'yes'?
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I nominate myself to be the supreme dictator of the Senate.
...I will mercilessly bribe all those who support me with hypothetical sweets...
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Well.....I'll accept brides. I read that bit about the bribery and scandal and thought, "That's me!"....I think honor is lame, except when someone's paying me...I should be a mercenary (although Senator is pretty much the same, so it's all good, eh?).
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Now that's my kind of
subject constituent!
...Senate for the Appreciation of Desserts.
Kind of a SAD name, isn't it?
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haha. Niiice....Constituent definitely has a better connotation than subject, but why hide what you truly want? You're running for supreme dictator. Just call your "constituents" what they are and leave it at that. If we can't handle now, then too bad. That's what dictators are for.
Oh, and SAD? I busted up at that. I'm joining Kaz in the "my sides hurt" group....
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I will support you in this, Jade, if you will throw your support behind me for the Lord of Cake election.
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Now that's my kind of subject constituent!
Is you is, or is you ain't my constituent?
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I nominate myself.
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As only a tyrannical ruler could do, I nominate myself to be the Lord Ruler of all desserts.
You may be wondering, why would I bother with pesky elections? I am, after all, the Hero of Ages (http://www.timewastersguide.com/forum/index.php?topic=6073.0), so I could just declare myself to own all cakes and all pies. Yet, there is a purpose to my nomination: I hereby announce the "Let Me Eat Cake" Party. You are welcome to join me in my ascendancy to the throne.
The Let Me Eat Cake Party (LMECs, for short) is based solely on honesty and realistic campaign promises, so when I say this, you can believe me: this party's sole purpose is to give me all of their desserts so I can eat cake, along with Pie (I did endorse cake, but its occurrence in the title of my party is happenstance, not blind acquiescence!) and everything else sweet. All your desserts will belong to me. Likewise, I shall do much eating of cake and desserts. In fact, I shall eat my cake and have it too, because after you give me all your cake, I certainly won't be able to eat all of it immediately. I'll be eating one cake while gazing upon a glorious pile of other cakes.
I may even let you eat cake, too, but this campaign promise is subject to change if I am feeling especially petty and/or arrogant.
Join me in my quest and vote for me! If you don't, I will make a new edict (dictators can do cool things like that) which will create a new tax, called the "Dessert Tax", which will do the same thing as if you voted for me. So, y'know, it's in your best interests to save me the effort of having to speak an edict--it makes me kind of grumpy and petty, and then you won't get to eat your desserts at all.
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The Let Me Eat Cake Party?
I c what u did thar. :o